Posts Tagged ‘Uncategorized’

Things you wish I never told you.

October 19, 2009

So, my first period after giving birth may or may not be over.

Man, that fucker was intense. Three days of bleeding so hard and heavy I didn’t know whether I was actually participating in a bloody sacrifice ritual in a parallel universe. I’ll tell you something gross, if you want. Lean in real close. (Or run away if you don’t want to hear.)

I take baths almost nightly. And two of these baths, during this bloody time of my life, well. The bath water was so full of blood that it went brownish grey and I COULD NOT SEE MY LEGS UNDER THE WATER.  That shit ain’t right.

Neither is the fact that I shrugged, added more hot water, and continued to stew in my own juices. Hey, in my defence, I was reading a really great book.

a

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Woah.

October 1, 2009

I am sitting in a puddle of my own making. I cannot stop crying.

Sorry, I’m totally fucking stupid. Don’t say ‘f’*.

September 18, 2009

Uh, I can’t figure out how to get people’s email addresses from the comments unless they are actually written in the comment itself. So if you would like the address to my last blog, or *excitement* you want to know the real names of the babies, do leave a comment on this entry …. with your email address in the body of the comment.

I am sure there is some way to get the email addresses in another fashion, but hell if I can figure it out on four hours of sleep. Don’t say ‘h’.

* Everytime we swear, we follow it up with this comment. All because my mother once said this to me. It has reached a new level, such as, ‘Give me a GD carrot, you B.’ (That’s Mr. Bluebell talking. See the previous entry if you are uncool enough to not know Mr. Bluebell.)

Update!

August 16, 2009

Hello everyone – Corporate T here again with another update for you, I see from the number of comments on the last entry people are gagging for more news…

I haven’t seen the babies yet as the hospital restricts the number of visitors to one (due to swine flu preventative measures) but have been getting regular updates from Existere and TMD.  You will be pleased to hear that all is going very well, it seems that breast feeding is everyone’s new favourite pass time and the babies are guzzling down that mothery goodness.  I can only imagine that when Existere is back online she will be giving far more detail on this than anyone would care to read… you know how it is.

The hope is that they will all be coming home very soon, they just need the final checks from the doctors and they are good to go – and then the process of creating a whole new routine will begin. 

Not sure when Existere will get the chance to write a post (as she has two little ones to care for now, don’t you know) but I promise that if she can’t get online I will continue to update you on the progress. 

I am now counting down the days to a double cuddle.  Hurrah!

I bring news!

August 11, 2009

Dearest readers of the interweb, this is Corporate T. 

It is my privilege to announce that the babies were born this afternoon!  Mano and Torre arrived at 2.18 and 2.19 this afternoon and both babies and both Mum’s/Mom’s (delete as appropriate depending on which side of the pond you are reading this) are doing well.

Existere asked me to post this as we know that you are waiting for news and I am sure that you are excited to know that all is well!

So that is two more added to the population, congratulations!

Sister Update

June 16, 2009

It is Blondie here updating for my wonderfully pregnant sister.  She went back into the hospital last night for a small bleed.  She “almost killed the doc during the spec exam”.  They think the bleeding was caused by an earlier pelvic exam.  She was given steroids to mature each baby’s lungs, just in case.  Both babies are doing great, but she’ll be in the hospital one more night and go home tomorrow if all is well.  Perhaps I’ll write more later as I get updated.

Flair board

March 14, 2009
My current flair board I’m about to erase (see, this is the energy!):
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New pretty (minimalist?) one:
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I can’t wait to find out what these babies are. Did I mention we find out on TMD’s birthday?

Is my child going to be Bart Simpson yellow?

December 23, 2008

Came here to write about how I AM the most inappropriate person on the planet, perhaps with a blow-by-blow account of the multiple conversations I’ve had today that prove it, then I saw Tatiana’s comment.

What constitutes fully cooked egg yolk? Not being runny? Both my eggs were runny. I didn’t know I couldn’t eat runny eggs. What else am I not supposed to eat aside from cat feces, soft cheeses, and …um…

srsly nt.

November 29, 2008

Scratch that last post – unless you know if we can have hot lesbian sex. I think I’ve gone off the idea.

Why, you ask? Well, I just stood up to go tell TMD that I hadn’t googled my way into an answer, and the pain in my ovaries was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches! You thought you wanted to have sex! Well, how do you like the pain? Do you like it? Do you…DO YOU?’

No, I don’t.

 

Oh. I’m reading Twilight. It’s good, in a Mills and Boon for teenagers kind of way. I like it. But am I so impressed I want to name my first born child Edward or Bella? Not yet.

(five) Margaret

October 29, 2008

You are the author of one of my favourite books. You were so mean and weird when I met you, I ended up crying in Burger King. You made me doubt.