Posts Tagged ‘soapbox’

My family matters.

October 26, 2009

What do you want me to say? I could write a right on political statement about why gay rights are worth fighting for, but it’s nothing you haven’t read before. Nothing you don’t already agree or disagree with.

Step into my life for one day, one morning, one instant.

I stare down at my two ten week old babies, and I pause. My heart aches. My family matters. We are worth it. My children have two moms, and I believe they are all the luckier for it.

I can’t believe that people are fighting in courts, running campaigns, debating civil rights. It just doesn’t make sense to me. What’s NOT to embrace? Our babies poop, we like to tickle them, we all love each other.

Yet we aren’t recognised in the country I was born in. My children and I are citizens of that country, and yet we couldn’t move there and bring their Mum with us. We are nervous stepping off the plane when we arrive there, and it makes me feel small and nervous and ANGRY.

We are living on the other side of the world from my family, and this is because I choose our family over the family I was born into – and there shouldn’t have to be a choice.

My children deserve to grow up in a world where all people are celebrated. Fuck acceptance or tolerance – we ARE all different, it’s stupid to pretend we aren’t, and it’s even stupider to not realise how powerful that makes us as people. How much we have to learn, how much we have to experience. How much stronger our own communities could be, and how much stronger we could all be if we joined together.

As that country debates gay marriage, laws that could impact immigration, people are angry…on both sides. While the storm rages on, people are embarassed, outraged, empowered, impotent, strengthened, saddened, surprised.

And here I sit, with two babies who laugh in their sleep, have full tummies, light up when they see their Mummy is home from work, who watch everything we do with intense concentration. I look at these two little people and my heart clenches. They are worth being brought up in a world that won’t make them feel awkward or afraid. We are a family, and we are worth it.

My son and daughter may be gay, straight, trans. They may be rock stars, scientists, musicians, perpetual students. They may choose to be single, or to be with someone from a different race. And you know what? I don’t care, because I love them.

If this world had a little more love, we’d all be a lot better off.

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Love makes the world go round.

April 15, 2009

I’m becoming some sort of lesbian families connection point. A hub, if you will. Okay, okay – that’s a bit optimistic, but still. A friend of a friend has gotten in touch and we are emailing back and forth. She and her partner are thinking about trying to conceive…and they live right by where TMD works.

Hopefully we will also yank M & N into some bizarre lesbian hoedown when they become pregnant. So that’s two lezzie fams.

I also texted some woman who apparently lives around the corner today, essentially trying to convey a sense of coolness while basically asking, ‘Will you be our friend?’ I hope she replies. I am finding a cozy warm spot for random lesbians who are now contacting me with all sorts of conception questions, so perhaps that goodwill will also extend the other direction?

As I now have all this time off work, I am finding some crazy motivation to start up some Lesbian Mummies Club in my area. Stay posted for that.

In other news, I’ve also emailed a non-lesbian (well, I suppose she could be gay, actually) from my local twins club. I think I’m going to go along to a meeting so I can meet other twin mummies. Also going to join the national association for people with multiples today, as soon as I haul my lazy ass off the couch and get my debit card.

Please understand, it’s not like I am anti-straight moms. No, not at all. But lesbian families face a whole host of issues foreign to your average heterosexual couple. But I love you straighties, rest assured.

15 weeks pregnant lesbian couple. Alert! Call the media!

March 3, 2009

We’re 15 weeks pregnant today. That seems a little crazy, because if we deliver at 38 weeks we are rapidly approaching the halfway mark of pregnancy. My stomach is fiercely tight, my boobs finally having a second growth surge, and – dare I say it – I might be feeling a little better?

Still vomiting a bit in spite of medication, but am trying to cut down on meds. I have had two mornings in a row where I didn’t almost fall over from The Dizzies when I woke up. I am drinking mouthfuls of water throughout the night without any terrible consequences.

I’m now on half days at work – a trial period of two weeks. It can be hoped that this will allow my body and mind some time to stabilise from the first trimester baddies who are lingering, my endless chest cold, etc. I know I am truly geeked at the idea of a week without work-induced  migraines, excessive vomiting, crying in the consulting room, etc.

Tears seem to be becoming a major part of my life, but it almost feels good to cry. Like my hormones have given me that little boost to be able to fully express emotion without societal niceties cramping my style. Of course, when I started crying during a maternity fashion show and repeating, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do this, what are we doing?’ people around me probably thought I was loony tunes…..and so what if I am?!? It’s two babies, damnit.

Had a sort of scary week as didn’t feel either one move Sunday or most of yesterday. Think we got some definite movement last night to TMD rubbing oil on my belly and me pushing her hand quite firmly against the babies. They usually do wake up a bit after some tummy oiling. On the train I also poked Mano and he kicked back. Torre is a bit harder to get moving, and I don’t know if that is because of the placenta’s location, or because he/she is just a placid baby.

Had a dream two nights ago that we had two babies – a bot and a girl. HOLY typo – a bot?!? Jesus, I hope we don’t have a robot child. A BOY and a girl. I’m getting increasingly ansty for the 20 week scan, because if the babies cooperate we’ll find out what they are and get to see them again!

I am considering buying a doppler so if I have more scary ‘why aren’t they moving’ moments I can be reassured. (A doppler is like a wand you place outside your stomach, and with some skill and luck you can hear the baby’s heartbeat.) I think the cheap ones are probably crap, and I don’t know if I can justify getting an expensive one. I wish one of you lived nearby and I could just borrow the sucker for a day!

Finally, all feel free to go to http://www.metro.co.uk/polls and vote on the lesbian IVF question. I never ever do these things, but got upset on the train that this was a topic worth even polling about. Of COURSE TMD should be listed as a second parent on the birth certificate. Now we have to go through all the hassle of legal hoops and paperwork to jump through to make sure that if something terrible happened to me during childbirth, she could have some rights. And then she’ll have to adopt her own children at six months. Madness.

I think all these right wing nutcases should spend a week with us. Our life is so amazingly normal. No lesbian devil horns sprouting, no cloven feet, no abnormal and cruel, twisted behaviour. (No more than usual, anyway.) We have an almost impossibly happy marriage, a deep love, huge commitment, and a lot of fun. How dare people insinuate we should not have children.

Down with The Man!