Posts Tagged ‘potty training’

Wee related joys. Ending with a dose of poop, because we all need poop talk.

November 7, 2012

I don’t know if I’ve said this already or not, but I’d like to give yet another shout out to the wonder of wonders that is Not Doing Potty Training. I counted up on my fingers yesterday how long it’s been since the kids stopped wearing nappies, and I cannot believe it has been such a short time…..because I trust both of them 100%. Both had accidents for two days after deciding on no more nappies (a couple of months apart), and neither has EVER had any form of accident since.

Coconut has also been nappy free at night the whole time. Snort isn’t far behind, which is pretty amazing considering we used to have to change his nappy three or four times a night and the bed was still likely to be soaked. She’s commando at night, but he’s in pull ups and often dry in the morning.

We went to the library yesterday and all I brought was Snort’s meds (always have to have them with us, in their fucking giant clunky Tupperware box) and my wallet! This shit is awesome!

What’s not so awesome is my back. It’s dodgy. I have been moaning on my existere Facebook page rather than here, but Coconut’s arm has also been horrible. Three nights of no sleep, a return trip to the doctor for more pain meds, etc. I’m happy to say she’s now definitely on the mend. We are going on holiday in two weeks, so we are cutting this shit fine. The cast should come off two weeks after it was put on, then more x rays to make sure she’s healed. Let’s hope so, otherwise we cancel our holiday as it relies heavily on waterslides.

It’s sunny and gorgeous today, but my back is a bastard. I can’t walk too far, and am afraid of going any place that features three story slides or excessive jolting of her arm, so we may stay in. We’ve missed home ed group for the last three weeks, and the kids miss it, so I guess I try to rest my back for tomorrow. It is ‘s’ week and there are lots of activities planned – one is street dance and another is dressing as superheroes. So it does look to be an awesome time.

Of course, I still have to bring the damn potty because while Coconut now goes on the big toilet all the time, Snort still insists on the potty. I’ve started gently saying that soon we will be saying goodbye to the potty, but all in all I don’t have much to complain about. All our potties are now kept in bathrooms, to get him used to having to wee in there as opposed to our previous luxury existence of potties in most rooms.

This next bit might be dull to you, but it’s incredible to me. Yesterday morning he woke up, took off his trousers and night nappy, and put his trousers back on by himself. And twice yesterday Coconut (who takes her underwear all the way off to wee, since she has to climb onto the toilet) put her underwear back on all by herself.

And. AND. Snort had gone wee, I hasn’t noticed, and Coconut flipping dumped his wee out and washed his potty. I KNOW. She is a helper. As is he – he usually dumps out his own potties. Both are au fait with our reusable wipes (we don’t do toilet paper except for poop, though last week Coconut tried to wipe her own butt and poop that somehow got on the floor, which gave me the opportunity to learn that very poopy wipes do come clean in the wash!)

So. That’s what is new with us. What is new with you?

edit: twenty minutes after posting this, he went on the toilet. Holy wow!

A first class ramble.

September 25, 2012

I feel like I am packing for a week away somewhere with variable weather. Full on rain jackets, light rain jackets, spare clothes, toy/book bags for travel, books/stickers for the clinic, lunch and snacks, potty, on and on and on and ON.

It feels silly, really, as it’s not like we are going to be away from the car for ages, but we will be away over lunch and having two very long car rides and two medium bus rides. And some walking. And both kids are sick, did I mention? Snort is back on oral steroids, and our cranky pal Coconut is running a fever. Awe-some.

I’ve had some hella discounts on backpacks for the kids. They aren’t cool hiking packs like I wanted, but Coconut is thrilled with hers, and Snort is anxiously waiting for his to come in the post. They should be big enough to hold their own lunches, water bottles, change of clothes, and love objects. That will cut down my load, though for trips where we will be away from the car for hours, I’m still lugging the damn potty around.

Yes, Snort is *touch wood* accident free. He did the same as Coconut. The first two days he had two pees on the floor, but none since then. I thought poop would be a major problem since he was holding it and just crapping himself while asleep, but he has also sorted that. Folks, this whole wait till they decide to use the potty thing is marvellous. No struggles. No months of potty training. No angst…apart from wondering if you will have the only two kids still in nappies come 2020.

But when can I stop all the spare clothes bullshit? I think I could with Coconut. I literally cannot imagine her having an accident. But the real pain is the damn potty. They are handy in the house, as the kids can just go about their business without needing to involve me. But they suck in public. Cleaner than gank nasty public toilets, I guess. We do have those seats that fit on the big toilets, so I suppose at some point I’ll change to carrying one of those. I like the security of the potty, though. Hrm.

Anyway. I still have to pack food for our journey. I always think it is nuts to have to bring so much stuff, but in reality we have the minimum. It’s just bulky.

Am I the only one who does not carry a first aid kit around? All those YouTube ‘what’s in my diaper bag videos’ showcase extensive medical supplies, stain sticks, and the like. I’m like, wtf. Medical supplies? If you have water with you, you can rinse any blood off and AWAY YOU GO.

Granted, perhaps I am jaded because I have to carry a large amount of actual medical supplies. Epipen, hardcore antihistamine, syringes, spoons, spacer, two inhalers, and copious paperwork. That big ass Tupperware box is the reason I’ll never be able to use a small bag, even once I leave spare clothes and potties behind.

But let’s hope we need big bags for a long time. Bring on baby three!

Football is good.

September 10, 2012

Posting from the car. Sitting here while my stomach begins to eat surrounding organs, as Snort is passed out in the back.

So. Football update. What the FUCK.  It was awesome. I know, I didn’t expect it either. He was still Snort, but was listening and following instructions and just running with this beautific smile. His only main hitch was when a baby sibling of another kid started crying, he needed to make sure the baby was okay.

He also self regulated two ‘rests’ near the end when he was tired, but lasted a lot longer than last week.

The other thing? He was more into socializing and making friends than the other boys last week – I consistently notice this with both kids. Twins can be far more socially advanced, according to literature and our experience.

But unfortunately, Snort is sometimes the victim of behavior he finds intimidating, sad, or upsetting. He’d never snatch a toy, be violent, or gang up to be mean – and finds it very distressing when other boys behave so towards him. It’s only happened a couple of times at home ed meets, but I find it heartbreaking and think about it for days.

So imagine my relief and joy when he is a sought after kid at football. The very assured kid who seems more like fifteen than three apparently was asking after Snort all week. He copied most of what Snort did – actually, so did the others, much to my amusement.

The other thing? I will be writing a Snort potty post soon, but for now let’s say that he wore underpants out of the house for the first time today, by his request, and we didn’t need the 756 spare shorts and underpants that I brought along.

So. Weird. But a great morning, all things considered.

Reunited with my money…now only nappies for one kid forEVAH….for now, anyway.

June 30, 2012

We are in Country A!

Coconut survived a three hour journey to the airport, a night in the hotel, three hours at the airport, an eight hour flight, another hour at an airport, and an hour drive to my mom’s house with no accidents. I think it is safe to say we no longer need to carry three pairs of spare trousers and four extra pairs of underpants everywhere we go.

We’ll be at her house today, but tomorrow we are driving to…uh…north, very north, and we’ll be in a cabin in the woods for a week. Hope your week is nice, all.

Pretend, real, who can tell.

June 15, 2012

Ah. We had midnight hospital runs, testing for diabetes, etc. All fun. End result? He’s going to be just fine and is almost into the ‘just fine’ region.

But what a week.

Coconut and I also had this bug, though we recovered quickly. Not quick enough for me to not get pee, runny poo, and vomit all over me. (Not mine, folks.)

This week also began with emergency doctor trips for Coco, who was only peeing once every 24 hours. We’ve got new poop medicine, and lo and behold, as she poops better she’s back to peeing like a human.

And as far as the potty training we did not do? I’m inspired to not do it to Snort, too.

Since the day Coconut decided to use the potty (randomly, after months of hostility towards peeing elsewhere than her nappy), girlfriend has not had any accidents. She also is just pooping in the potty, easy as you please, which is astonishing after an impossible length of time where poop equalled destruction and pain.

I don’t remind her, pester her, etc. Or I try not to. We have potties in various locations. I leave her and them alone, and she avails herself of them as necessary. It’s AWESOME.

But after a week of bodily fluids spewing out everywhere (or not, as the case may be), the house is gross. We are semi-messy people, but not dirty people. So in order to cope with today, I am pretending I am in Little House on the Prairie. Ma Ingles got shit done, ya’ll, with a smile on her face.

If I pretend that I must keep moving and getting stuff sorted, then it is easier to do.

Just like when I used to feel rage at the kids, so I pretended cameras were all over the house and I was on a reality tv show about awesome parenting. You do what you gotta do.

How the hell did this happen?

June 5, 2012

Potty training. Potty learning. Blah blah blah.

It’s been on my mind for about a year and a half. We have gone through a phase of bribing with chocolate and constant pestering from me to just try peeing and see if they need to go. None of this has worked. It has been extremely difficult, but I pulled back from the whole thing.

Dear friends (ah, you probably know who you are) started potty training, maybe before the kid was ‘ready’ (whatever the fuck that means!!), and are still doing it months later. I admire that. I have neither the persistence or motivation to do that. Especially with two at the same time.

So I was like, ‘Eh, some other people seem to think kids will do this themselves if you just leave them alone. I’ll try it, and let’s hope those other people aren’t full of shit.’ This idea meshes with the way we live our lives – why we won’t be sending them to school, for example. Our kids have known their ABCs and numbers for about a year. Both recognize and name letters and numbers. They can add and are great with patterns, colours, and other math-related skills. They have ‘paper’ on my laptop – a document saved for each of them where they can ‘write letters.’ We live in a house of books, of a mama who likes to write, of magnetic letters and numbers. None of this needed to be taught, at least in the traditional way. Kids are like sponges and just sort of soak things up.

But speaking of soaking – though I was so convinced of our choices to home educate, to baby led wean, to free wheel and deal and just go with the flow – potty learning was the one thing I had a really hard time with. I just didn’t trust it.

Yesterday – and I’m still not sure what happened here, I need to ask TMD – Coconut just decided that she was going to pee on the potty. We knew she was probably ‘ready’, aside from a nasty hatred of the potty and toilet. But out of nowehere, all her pees yesterday and today were on the potty. She had one accident today. And, get this, girlfriend even POOPED on the potty.

She has bad poop problems. I’m sure that you are all like, ‘Tell us about the poop! How do you like that book on withholding and constipation you treated yourself to?’ and I’ll get to that in another entry. But, suffice to say, poop doesn’t come easy. I think her second dose of laxatives made it pretty impossible for her to NOT poop tonight, so it was easy to grab a potty and she just did it. No asking for a nappy.

(Please, Coconut, if you read this one day forgive me for telling people these things. But I tell them these things about me, too, so maybe I’m an equal opportunity oversharer.)

I don’t say any of this to brag. I say it to show you how perplexed I am. Because while I was holding back, I had sort of also decided that if neither of them got themselves out of nappies this summer, maybe I would hold Naked Week 2012 in late August to help them along. But, ya’ll, it works. Leave your kid alone and they will probably get out of nappies sometime before they get their first job. And we don’t use cloth ones (sad face goes here), but I’ve heard that cloth nappies help speed things up even more.

But really, what is the race?

This is their childhood. And so much of ‘modern’ parenting seems to be about parental convenience or, possibly, insecurity. Snort and Coconut will get things right, in their own time and way. If they are reading Shakespeare next year, great. If they aren’t, who cares? They will get there in the end. Our kids learn to sit, stand, speak. How to communicate and interact with the world. If they are capable of these grand feats, why shouldn’t they be able to undertake other things?

I guess my job is getting out of their way and letting them do it. Trusting the process.

For the time being, I don’t know what to do next. Go on with our ordinary life (given this will be the first week with a car!)? Stay home to better support her? Whatever I do, I’m going to not offer nappies again. She is in pull-ups for the night, though she has been dry through the nights for a long ass time now. But I guess I just keep subtley reinforcing the idea that it’s Underwear Time, without somehow making Snort feel bad that he is in nappies. He doesn’t seem to care yet.

From my point of view, I’d MUCH rather support one kid at a time in this. And I think once she is really good to go, he’ll probably follow soon after. But see, here I go again – arranging, scheduling, anticipating.

No. Stand back, Mama. Stand back and let your children amaze you.

Follow up to the peeing-for-bribes post.

March 8, 2012

So two days ago I wrote about how I was trying to bribe my kids to pee with the use of chocolate. Chocolate buttons, to be specific. That day – the one I felt all pumped about – ended with my Steel Bladder Children not peeing. At all. From 8 am to 1 pm. At that point, each one was lying on a couch and starting to drift off.

A couple of hours later, she peed in a bucket full of toys. I was like, fuck this, my lovely child. Nappy back on. LAZY MAMA.

I’ve not been consistent. I’ve been totally child led….except when they want underpants and I’m like, NO DUDE. NO. Cause I’m the only parent in the universe who isn’t obsessed with potty training (except that I AM obsessed with thinking about it, just not following through). I’m like, you learned to walk and talk. You’ll learn to pee in a toilet, too. When you are ready. Because I am too faint of heart to be ready.

And then yesterday? We got home from storytime.  Coconut rips that nappy off again and skips around in glee. She also rips off her clothes.

A couple of hours later….she just sits on the fucking potty and unleashes a monsoon. I’m like, WHAT? What the hell? Are you willingly peeing on the potty?

‘Chocolate button!’ she says. I don’t even care that she’s peeing for chocolate…and then she keeps grinning and saying, ‘I did it! I did it, Mama!’

A couple of hours later…..a tiny drop. She gets chocolate. She says, ‘I’ll try again.’ And monsoon number two occurs!!!!

You hear me? Naked all day. No leaks, no puddles, no muss or fuss. Three small pieces of chocolate.


I think it will be a long time coming before she poops on the potty. I only hope she’ll ask for a nappy to poop rather than just holding it ….because let’s just say that pooping and Coconut, well, they aren’t on the best of terms. Apparently I was like this as a child too. And I grew out of it, but possibly only because I wanted to sit alone for hours in the bathroom and read so I could escape my crazy ass family.


Snort hasn’t cared about removing his nappy since that first day o’ bribery, and that is fine by me. I’d rather do this one at a time. I just sort of figured it would be the other way around, since he is gleeful about peeing and pooping on the toilet.

Coconut says:

dmmddddjjdd fhfggfdye b

Snort says:


Okay, folks. More later.

Will pee for chocolate.

March 5, 2012

I’ve started a new public blog and if I manage to stick with it, I’ll share the link with you all. It’s yet another attempt at a home education blog that can be shared with family and friends – and perhaps curious officials – in the future, but it’s hosted on wordpress. So I’m more likely to stick with it.

I’m tempted to name it ‘will pee for chocolate’, but I somehow think that promoting bribery and tooth decay are not the message I want to send. I save that for YOU people!

Coconut, despite her protests that she loves nappies, has been taking them off more and more. She’s been talking a lot about wearing underpants in her new house or in town, and this morning she took off her nappy and refused to have it back on. Snort is telling us the second he does poos. Are they ready? I don’t know.

I’m lazy and trying to help two toddlers contain their bodily outputs in a toilet is, I imagine, hard work. So I’m leaving them to it to do it themselves. They’ve done everything else up to this point.

But the nappy refusal this morning is too hard to resist. I’ve broken out a bag of chocolate buttons, with the promise that a pee or poo in the toilet or a potty will yield one piece of chocolate. They were both very exicted.

Coconut is brokenhearted as she hasn’t managed to pee -at all – yet. And she really wants that chocolate. I worry I am screwing her up in some way.

On the bright side, though, they’ve both been bare bottomed for two hours and no one has peed or pooped on the floor. In previous child led attempts (or demands for underpants), I am scrubbing pee every two minutes. So if we keep trying on the potties, eventually pretty impressive pee streams should happen, and the long awaited chocolate will be theirs.

I even turned down going out with a friend this morning, so invested am I in having easy access to potties.

Will it work? I’m betting not, but we shall see. Chocolate got them to happily take antibiotics….and that is a pretty impressive feat in itself.

(Aside from medication and pee, I swear bribery is not part of our parenting strategy.)

Any words of encouragement, experiences you’ve had, advice, etc is welcomed!