Posts Tagged ‘potty learning’

Pretend, real, who can tell.

June 15, 2012

Ah. We had midnight hospital runs, testing for diabetes, etc. All fun. End result? He’s going to be just fine and is almost into the ‘just fine’ region.

But what a week.

Coconut and I also had this bug, though we recovered quickly. Not quick enough for me to not get pee, runny poo, and vomit all over me. (Not mine, folks.)

This week also began with emergency doctor trips for Coco, who was only peeing once every 24 hours. We’ve got new poop medicine, and lo and behold, as she poops better she’s back to peeing like a human.

And as far as the potty training we did not do? I’m inspired to not do it to Snort, too.

Since the day Coconut decided to use the potty (randomly, after months of hostility towards peeing elsewhere than her nappy), girlfriend has not had any accidents. She also is just pooping in the potty, easy as you please, which is astonishing after an impossible length of time where poop equalled destruction and pain.

I don’t remind her, pester her, etc. Or I try not to. We have potties in various locations. I leave her and them alone, and she avails herself of them as necessary. It’s AWESOME.

But after a week of bodily fluids spewing out everywhere (or not, as the case may be), the house is gross. We are semi-messy people, but not dirty people. So in order to cope with today, I am pretending I am in Little House on the Prairie. Ma Ingles got shit done, ya’ll, with a smile on her face.

If I pretend that I must keep moving and getting stuff sorted, then it is easier to do.

Just like when I used to feel rage at the kids, so I pretended cameras were all over the house and I was on a reality tv show about awesome parenting. You do what you gotta do.

How the hell did this happen?

June 5, 2012

Potty training. Potty learning. Blah blah blah.

It’s been on my mind for about a year and a half. We have gone through a phase of bribing with chocolate and constant pestering from me to just try peeing and see if they need to go. None of this has worked. It has been extremely difficult, but I pulled back from the whole thing.

Dear friends (ah, you probably know who you are) started potty training, maybe before the kid was ‘ready’ (whatever the fuck that means!!), and are still doing it months later. I admire that. I have neither the persistence or motivation to do that. Especially with two at the same time.

So I was like, ‘Eh, some other people seem to think kids will do this themselves if you just leave them alone. I’ll try it, and let’s hope those other people aren’t full of shit.’ This idea meshes with the way we live our lives – why we won’t be sending them to school, for example. Our kids have known their ABCs and numbers for about a year. Both recognize and name letters and numbers. They can add and are great with patterns, colours, and other math-related skills. They have ‘paper’ on my laptop – a document saved for each of them where they can ‘write letters.’ We live in a house of books, of a mama who likes to write, of magnetic letters and numbers. None of this needed to be taught, at least in the traditional way. Kids are like sponges and just sort of soak things up.

But speaking of soaking – though I was so convinced of our choices to home educate, to baby led wean, to free wheel and deal and just go with the flow – potty learning was the one thing I had a really hard time with. I just didn’t trust it.

Yesterday – and I’m still not sure what happened here, I need to ask TMD – Coconut just decided that she was going to pee on the potty. We knew she was probably ‘ready’, aside from a nasty hatred of the potty and toilet. But out of nowehere, all her pees yesterday and today were on the potty. She had one accident today. And, get this, girlfriend even POOPED on the potty.

She has bad poop problems. I’m sure that you are all like, ‘Tell us about the poop! How do you like that book on withholding and constipation you treated yourself to?’ and I’ll get to that in another entry. But, suffice to say, poop doesn’t come easy. I think her second dose of laxatives made it pretty impossible for her to NOT poop tonight, so it was easy to grab a potty and she just did it. No asking for a nappy.

(Please, Coconut, if you read this one day forgive me for telling people these things. But I tell them these things about me, too, so maybe I’m an equal opportunity oversharer.)

I don’t say any of this to brag. I say it to show you how perplexed I am. Because while I was holding back, I had sort of also decided that if neither of them got themselves out of nappies this summer, maybe I would hold Naked Week 2012 in late August to help them along. But, ya’ll, it works. Leave your kid alone and they will probably get out of nappies sometime before they get their first job. And we don’t use cloth ones (sad face goes here), but I’ve heard that cloth nappies help speed things up even more.

But really, what is the race?

This is their childhood. And so much of ‘modern’ parenting seems to be about parental convenience or, possibly, insecurity. Snort and Coconut will get things right, in their own time and way. If they are reading Shakespeare next year, great. If they aren’t, who cares? They will get there in the end. Our kids learn to sit, stand, speak. How to communicate and interact with the world. If they are capable of these grand feats, why shouldn’t they be able to undertake other things?

I guess my job is getting out of their way and letting them do it. Trusting the process.

For the time being, I don’t know what to do next. Go on with our ordinary life (given this will be the first week with a car!)? Stay home to better support her? Whatever I do, I’m going to not offer nappies again. She is in pull-ups for the night, though she has been dry through the nights for a long ass time now. But I guess I just keep subtley reinforcing the idea that it’s Underwear Time, without somehow making Snort feel bad that he is in nappies. He doesn’t seem to care yet.

From my point of view, I’d MUCH rather support one kid at a time in this. And I think once she is really good to go, he’ll probably follow soon after. But see, here I go again – arranging, scheduling, anticipating.

No. Stand back, Mama. Stand back and let your children amaze you.

Potty apparel.

March 10, 2011


She told me she needed to poop. So on she went to the potty, where we held hands and hung out. Eventually she wanted off, and I had another Poop Situation with another child, so I ditched the trousers for babylegs.

She asked for the ballerina skirt, slippers, and little fleece. I think she looks stunning. What say you?

Two minutes after this was taken she went back to the potty, still in nappy. So. Fricking. Cute.

When Bunny shits herself.

March 8, 2011

Coconut is very aware of The Poop. Once it registers with her that she has to go, she will inform me constantly until it actually happens. (Potty specific talk to be the subject of another entry.)

‘Poop.’ Pulls at nappy or points at butt. ‘Poop. Poop. Poop.’ This continues for anything from 20 minutes to 2 hours.

Once she actually does poop, all hell breaks loose. We’re talking full on screaming, ‘POOP’ while sobbing and yanking at her nappy. She gets into a mini rage and jumps up and down (a life skill feces taught her, not her non-athletic mums) while continuing to miserably scream, ‘POOOOOOOOOOP.’

Today in the park she fell into some bad mud while holding Bunny. Bunny got some mud on and near his/her tail, which about drove her to distraction. (Worse than the ten foot fall down fucking concrete as the woman accompanying us didn’t think to hang on to her at the top of a large slide/hill/concrete mountain.)

She examined Bunny’s tail and then looked up, distress written on every feature. ‘Poop!’ she said miserably, gesturing at Bunny’s ass. ‘Poop.’ She began to sob. I had to explain it was mud, make a big deal of wiping the mud off Bunny, and say it was not poop.

This was repeated the entire remainder of the time we were at the park. She’s the fucking poop patrol.

On a sidenote, her lovely mama sat on the ‘grown-up potty’ when she got home, where Coco immediately tried to push my ass aside and see if I was pooping. Nice.

Now, genuine question. Bunny is so dirty and stained. I am afraid to vigourously surface wash as I don’t want to ruin it in some way. TMD says we should not put it in the washing machine as it will get soaked through and you aren’t supposed to get these sorts of toys wet on the inside – but with a good ‘surface’ wash, Bunny is sodden anyway.

How do I clean her? How do I get the ‘poop’ off Bunny, people?!? This is not just an idle question.

It’s pooooooooooooooooooop. *sad face*


February 18, 2011

Me: Sitting on toilet.

Coconut: Poop? Walks over, puts a hand on my butt and tries to move me over so she can look in the toilet. Poop? Poop.

Me: Yes, Mama pooped. Do you want to see? I get up.

Coconut: Very intently looks at my poop. Poop!

Me: Snort, do you want to see the poop in the potty?

Snort: Yeah. Manages to look utterly careless while he runs to the toilet and stares in.

Me: Stands and lets them look, all the while ready at a half-second’s notice to whip my hand out and grab anything if they try to throw it in. Okay, guys, Mama needs to clean her butt now.