Posts Tagged ‘physiotherapy’

Every day offers new gifts to your vagina.

January 29, 2012

Last Thursday I had an appointment with my physio, and mentioned in passing that I’ve peed myself while sneezing a lot lately. The next thing I know, she’s cocking her head and saying thoughtfully, ‘Yes, I think you could do with The Educator.’

Then she’s reaching into a cupboard and pulling out a little white package. In it is a tiny little dildo type thing, and three little sticks that hook together and attach to the dildo. You stick it in your vagina, and then when you do a pelvic floor squeeze, it makes the little stick dip down. This way you can see you’re doing it right, and also see how long you can properly hold those muscles before the stick begins to bob back up again.

Life is full of many gifts. The Educator is just one of them.

Don’t be jealous. I know your day of unexpected gift receiving is still on the horizon, and when it comes, your socks will be knocked right off.

Two great things.

April 9, 2009

1. I went to physio for my knee today – TMD said I shouldn’t bother, but I said I secretly hoped for a direct referral to the specialist physiotherapist. I went in to see my guy (who happens to be the manager of the whole service…) and told him about my pain, bedrest, etc. The next thing I know, I’ve been put to the top of the waiting list and have an appointment with the women’s health physiotherapist for three weeks time, along with a handy dandy leaflet about SPD.

2. I gave in and bought giant knickers – three sizes larger than my normal size, and in the style of ‘full’. Grandma panties, in other words. AND JESUS ARE THEY WONDERFUL. They go right up to my belly button and I have never felt such joy as when I pulled them on this morning.


Rapid fire.

February 20, 2009

So much has happened and I’ve either been too busy or too ill to get to a computer. Hopefully will muster some motivation this weekend to write about the scan, as I want to remember it!

The breakdown: Tuesday morning had a nervous breakdown because the midwives called to say they couldn’t see me after the scan. A range of crazy phone calls ensued, and I just sobbed (as per my usual, lately).

Had the scan – still two babies in there. One (Baby B) moved during the scan and that was incredible. Both babies are baby-shaped now, which is very science fictiony and inspiring. Was offered a screening scan on this upcoming Monday (had to see the midwives to sort it – HA, try to deny me an appointment) and it threw up all sorts of issues for TMD and me. More on that later.

Was talk about admitting me to hospital for dehydration. Had emergency appointment with a different doctor (thank GOD), and was given some medication to prevent vomiting. It appears to function mainly as a laxative, as far as I can see. Still, have not vomited ONCE since I started taking them (yesterday). Having some nausea on and off, which is disappointing, but the no vomit thing makes up for it.

Had physio today. Booked in for more next Friday afternoon. I think this means I won’t really be able to come in to work at all next Friday, as I’m seeing my consultant and midwife for the first time that morning – and it’s a super-long appointment (finally).

Wednesday was massively sick at work, culminating in me being unable to stop crying as I locked myself into a consulting room at work. Didn’t go in yesterday as spent all Wednesday evening vomiting, and woke up yesterday with my first ever migraine. Everyone I have spoken to has a theory about what causes migraines.

Back at work today. Totally tired out and ready for the weekend. I miss TMD and feel like I never see her, except for these short and sweet glimpses in the mornings. Keep telling people I no longer feel like I can work. That’s a whole other story.

Okay. More later.

Oh! Hopefully this weekend we will also get the scan pictures put on CD or something so you can all see our baby-shaped babies.

Hash browns turn that frown upside down.

January 30, 2009

Dr. G was wrong about something else, but it works in my favour. He said it would take ‘months’ for the physiotherapy referral to go through; it almost seemed like he was trying to dissuade me. I told him to make a referral anyway, and now I’ve got an appointment for next Friday. Boo yah!

I feel like such an ass. I took a month off for this bloody leg injury. Next Thursday Joy has said I can work from home so I don’t have to worry about coming back in time for my midwife’s appointment. And now next Friday will be a definite half day – if I go in at all. I feel like a terrible employee. I know none of this is my fault, but it still makes me feel bad.¬† If I was still working at Day Job, I wouldn’t give a good goddamn. But I actually like Operation Fingerpaint. *sigh*

In other news, I had a dream about S. Drawl and Juice-ica this morning. This was after eating two McDonald’s breakfast meals TMD ran out to get me. I’ve got this specialist book about expecting twins, and, well, I should be bulking the fuck up. Of course Mc Donald’s is not the answer, but this book does stress that fats are very important in a twin pregnancy – much more so than a singleton.

I’ve lost another pound, so I thought those greasy little hash browns couldn’t hurt.

Also – no vomit yesterday! Some dry heaves (two periods of it), but no food flying out of my mouth! This is miraculous, especially as the puke-a-thon the night before actually involved me screaming – I don’t know why. One second I was puking, the next involuntarily screaming. Literally.

Sil said she was quite sick during her pregnancy. Of course I asked her what this meant in terms of numbers. She said she had vomited 15 times when she was pregnant. I think that as soon as a woman knows the exact number of her sicknesses, she doesn’t know what sick is. After this conversation I did a little mental math and my conservative estimate is that I have gotten sick well over 100 times. Say it with me: awesome.

Lucky number ten.

January 26, 2009

1. Still off work. This marks the start of week #4. I will be back at work by next Monday at the latest, so help me God.

2. Went to our niece’s Christening yesterday. I assume you capitalise things when they involve renouncing Satan? Anyway, we sat at the very back of the cathedral so I could eat the entire service – and also run outside to puke on their multi-million pound/dollar/whatever lawn if needed. We sat across the aisle from Bil and Sil’s Jewish neighbors, who also spent the whole time feeding their son. TMD and I couldn’t decide if we were the heathen section or the picnic section; in fact, perhaps the two are not mutually exclusive.

3. Bil has told all of his friends we are pregnant with twins, even though we said SHH TOP SECRET to him. They were all loudly congratulating us in front of TMD’s family. This was a little awkward, but we escaped discovery.

4. I’ve not heard from the hospital yet regarding the booking in appointment or the twelve week scan. Going to call them tomorrow. I have a phobia about checking voicemail AND about making phone calls, it would appear. Called Dr. Shitface today to extend my sick¬† note and get a referral to physiotherapy, and was beyond relieved to hear he couldn’t call back until tomorrow – despite the fact that the referral should have been made eons ago.

5. My leg is wacked. I did a ‘lot’ of ‘walking’ yesterday at the Christening. (Christ claims you for his own!) Translated this means relying heavily on the crutches to walk about three minutes. This exertion has left my leg semi-dead and very stiff.

6. Sil gave me lots of maternity clothes. Yipee! Including a nice pair of jeans that I will have to start wearing now, as in about three weeks time (if that) I reckon they won’t fit anymore.

7. I have finally managed to weigh myself. I was curious to do this because my body is turning into a flobby (the perfect word) garbly mess. Turns out I’ve not gained weight. I’ve not stayed the same. No, folks, I’ve LOST weight from all the upchucking. Nice.

8. I watched a tv show about IVF this morning and just kept crying. Throughout the whole pregnancy thing I have been wondering why I do not feel more special, or pregnant, or mom-ish. My reaction to the IVF programme obviously indicates there is a lot going on under the surface, even if I appear to be disbelieving that there are babies in my stomach. My nipples, vomit, and poochy tummy provide proof things are happening (a disco party? hair braiding? basketball games?) and I STILL DON’T BELIEVE IT. I don’t know if this is normal or what.

9. Nine weeks two days pregnant today.