Posts Tagged ‘period’

Missing toys and period. The drama lives on.

November 15, 2012

Having a blah day.

Not just because Snort lost Finn yesterday and I still can’t find him.

Not because he lost his favourite Cars guy, a Lightning McQueen we customised the wheels on, this morning.

Not because I decided to organise the Cars and realised I am not only missing Coconut’s travel toy bag (JuJuBe BeQuick. I recommended these for every use you can think of. I love them!) I planned to put her cars in.

Not even because I then discovered we are missing four of her five Cars characters.

Just because. The above is mildly depressing. We just have so much STUFF. But they play with it all. On a day like today, though, I want to box it all up and live a minimalist life. Largely empty, beautiful rooms with only a handful of toys. Oh, god, can you imagine how good it would be?

Of course, I am a hypocrite because much of the junk in our house is actually mine. Or it wasmostly mine, before we were overrun with toys. Please god let me find the missing Cars. It’s too grey a day to be looking for secondhand Finn McMissiles on eBay. And even worse, the missing Lightning. He knows all of his Lightnings and they each are different to him, so it’s not like we can whip out the sharpies and customise another one’s wheels, because he will know.

I don’t want to go to home ed group today. I want to stay home in sweatpants. I want a good friend or two to come over and drink tea and laugh with me, while my children (and yours?) rip the house further apart, possibly losing more vital Cars toys into some unnameable, impossible chasm that swallows things.

If I buy a new Finn (two, actually, because our cars all have dabs of nail varnish on the bottom and I can’t dab just him one because you know his old one will turn up the second the new one arrives, leaving Coconut with a Finn with the wrong colour varnish on the bottom. Are you confused? WELCOME TO MY LIFE.)…..oh, god.

I wonder if I can justify skipping group by the fact that the kids have vaguely runny noses. And that I will somehow find something even super cooler to do. It’s just so grey and cold out! And my brain can’t handle the missing toys. Snort takes all his cars everywhere we go. They are pretty much the only toys he plays with. So losing his two favourite is a bitch. He seems to be adapting to the limbo missing state better than me. Perhaps because I stayed up till midnight, which I never do, and then was awake most of the night itching uncontrollably. Just like when I was pregnant.

Also just like I was pregnant….the fact that my period is like a week late. I am never late. A few friends who have had failed IVF said it took their bodies four months to get back to normal. I was glad to hear this, because my period being this late almost convinced me I was entering the menopause.

I….what? Tangent, much?

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Yes, you owe us. You owe us our backs, chilluns.

September 12, 2011

So. Injections. I’m cleared for discharge and waiting for TMD to pick me up. I’ve been told I’m not allowed to drive, cook, make important decisions, or sign any paperwork in the next twenty four hours. They didn’t prohibit phone-blogging, so here I am.

While I spent eternity waiting to go down to the operating theatre, I hung out with a bunch of (righteously cool) old ladies. Even all the magazines were for old ladies.

The one next to me had a bad back – SINCE THE BIRTH OF HER TWINS THIRTY SIX YEARS AGO.

Just as I make the joke that I’ve never met a twin mum who didn’t have her back destroyed by pregnancy, the other patient is like (paraphrased), ‘True dat, dawg. I’ve got five kids, and its my FIFTEEN YEAR OLD TWINS WHO JACKED UP MY BACK.’

Do you notice the pattern? All my homies getting pain injections for their backs are twin mums.

One of the older lady’s kids came to pick her up and we all jumped on her, telling her we all had twins and we were all cripples. I think we made her uncomfortable.

Oh well. La de freaking da. We’re all uncomfortable here.

(I’m on my period and have been naked – excepting hospital gown – all day. All hail reusable menstrual cups. I fucked up the first nurse bad when she asked for the date of my last period, realised I was still bleeding, and realised I was naked. She stammered and backed out of the room. I haven’t seen her since.)

If blood makes you squeamish, don’t read.

December 14, 2009

Thank you for all the great travel tips – we hadn’t even considered bringing tops for us in the carry-ons, and as soon as I read that comment we laughed and realised we were fools.

So the packing continues.

And the sleeping. Ever since I had the swine flu shit-a-thon, I have been tired tired tired. On Saturday I went to bed around 4 pm. I surfaced for about an hour at 10 pm, then slept right through till morning. Even once I was ‘awake’ yesterday, I could not more. Actually couldn’t. It felt like being a teenager again.

I think I coming down with a little cold or something. My job is to eat echinacea tablets like they are going out of style, and to make sure I don’t bleed anywhere. Yes, yes, my period is here for another visit. AND IT IS FUCKED UP.

For about the last week, my SPD has surpassed itself. It’s really going all out to make it hard to move. Didn’t click in my mind that perhaps my period was coming, although my SPD went mental last time as well. And the new thing? My C section scar hurts on the inside. Like it is ripping apart, like it is brand new.

And the masses of bleeding I thought were due to it being my first period a few periods ago? No, apparently now that I’ve had children my body thinks it is groovy to just create a bloodletting experience. Perhaps it assumes that I have kids already, so now it is okay to just totally let go. Blood everywhere.

Wow.

Yes.

As I said, thanks for the travel tips. A blog entry that isn’t about blood is coming soon, but that doesn’t guarantee there won’t be more blood entries at some point.

…Or is my body screwed up?

November 2, 2008

Anyone wanna help me out here?

I’m on Day 10 of my cycle – been on the birth control pill since Day 1. And while I wouldn’t say my period was still officially going strong, something is. Like very, very light brown spotting. It hasn’t stopped – and let me tell you, an ten day period is not something I have experience with.

Has anyone else had this happen as a result of hormone changes?

Grr? Sob? Grr.

October 26, 2008

Day three of taking the pill, and I am feeling crazy already. I can’t attribute the crazy to the pill, of course, but it is highly weird for me to feel this level of anxiety and sadness after I’ve already gotten my period. Normally if I’m going to feel extraordinarily blah, that happens before the momentous event of blood-in-panties.

This is even weirder since my PMDD has completely calmed down since May, when we moved out of the city. Having trees and space agrees with my mental health, surprise surprise.

I am worried about the upcoming driving test, there’s no getting around that. So these feelings are probably at least a bit related to that. My old team leader met up with me for some sparkling apple juice (we are party animals) a couple of weeks ago, and she pointed out that my perfectionism isn’t doing me any favours, and perhaps I should just loosen up. Fine. I recognise that as a good suggestion – I just don’t know how to loosen up, that’s all.

My IVF study-a-thon has said that how a woman tolerates the birth control pill can be indicative of how she will respond to the IVF meds. Let’s hope, then, that this funk is nothing more than an ordinary Sunday blahness, with perhaps a dash of fighting-the-flu thrown in for good measure. Because otherwise I’m in for trouble – as is TMD, the faithful wife, witness, and participant to me and my individual brand of the crazies.

Fucking driving test, man.

And, you know, all the other stuff too.

I used to be on the birth control pill about a hundred years ago, when man-sex was not only a viable option, but a fairly regular occurance what with my steady stream of long-term monogomous boy-relationships. The pill didn’t make me crazy then; I don’t seem to remember any side effects. But that was a triphasic pill. I don’t know what this one is. Every pill is exactly the same as the others, though, so it’s definitely not triphasic.

Some women at Day Job said they refused to take the pill because it turned them into raging monsters. Perhaps I have now joined their club. Hip hip fucking hooray!

Therapy -> poop -> prunes -> baby

October 14, 2008

As much as I like the people I work with, sometimes it is a relief when they cancel. I have SO MUCH work to do, and now today has evened out to only having a clinical meeting – and then all my millions of phone calls, etc. I don’t do well with having to do too much.

Back to those prune brownies – I hadn’t really pooped since last Thursday, and then weighed myself this morning (thankfully I did drop some kids at the swimming pool after that). Yikes. I should clearly be an adherant to the Weight Watchers way of life. Feel like chocolate? Go for a twenty mile jog – it’s more fun than eating!

Yeah, yeah. Feed me another line of bullshit.

Regardless, I lost 59.5 pounds over the course of about 18 months. I’ve now managed to put back ON 16 pounds since June. Impressive, no? I think it’s a combination of working such long hours (short to normal people, long to me as Day Job was four years of slacking off), getting home late and therefore starving, and baby stuff. I fake pregnancy eat all the time.

I don’t want to lose all this weight because significant weight loss can impact on fertility. However, if I lost four teeny tiny pounds I would be the weight my fertility clinic thinks I am. In my crazy mind, they have prescribed meds for someone weighing four pounds less, so if I don’t manage to produce enough eggs it MUST be because the extra weight diluted the meds.

I just called them to ask if my final test results are back in. In case you are wondering, I’m at Day 18 of my cycle. This means I should bleed like a river in about ten days – and that’s when I want to start taking the birth control pill. I want clarity around what happens if the test results aren’t back in – because I want to pop those heterosexual pills when I get my period, tests or no tests. And if the tests come back saying I’m somehow screwed up DNA-wise, then I get off the pill. (And possibly have a nervous breakdown.)

The nurse is going to find out what’s happened with the tests, since I took them September 18. Even though I know I have given her my correct phone number to ring me back, The Crazy In Me keeps double-checking.

Okay. Hungry already.

And if you want a hope of understanding where this diary may be heading. At least in regards to pee-pees and babies.

May 10, 2008

We’re moving two weeks from yesterday. I’m so excited, even though we are not even close to being packed, but I have a few worries. When I first moved to this country I was depressed for a good couple of years, at least. That didn’t really lift until I got Day Job and started figuring out how things worked. We lived in a nice little studio apartment – that I never left. I didn’t know how to travel around, I didn’t understand how the money worked, I had just moved away from all my family and friends and wasn’t sure when I would see them again.

TMD had classes or work most days. I had class one evening a week, and was not allowed to work. I didn’t have any friends or anything to do.

I worry a bit about moving, because here in The City I can go anywhere and do anything. I can take buses, trains, subways, boats, bicycle, or feet. Where we are moving, you really need to drive. Things are more spread out.

It’s nice because it means a nicer style of life, but I think about things like doctor’s appointments – how can I attend if I can’t drive? I am very focused on trying to get my license before the summer is up. I definately want it before baby-in-the-tummy time, when I’ll have other things to worry about.

In the meantime, I will continue reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This is possibly the most right on book about women’s reproductive health I have ever read. I think girls should be taught about how their bodies work from a young age. If you’re a woman, I’d strongly recommend you reading this – whether you are gay/bi/straight, trying for a baby, trying to avoid a baby, not having sex at all. It’s all about getting to know your body better and taking responsibility for your health.

Today is the first day of my period, but I didn’t get to take my temp this morning because I woke up at 3 to pee and never fell back asleep. I think I may need to set my alarm daily for a very early time to try to get some consistency. If you wonder why I need to take my temperature and what it has to do with my period, go get this book!!