Posts Tagged ‘obama’

Why I’m not overjoicing over a bone being thrown in my general direction.

May 10, 2012

I woke up this morning to my Facebook newsfeed flooded with news about Obama. In case you live under a rock, he said:

”I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.”

Okay, swell.

But my first reaction was not that of abject gratitude, which many of my gay friends in America seem to be having. Like that picture circulating of Obama riding a unicorn, rainbows shooting out of his bad ass gay loving hands. I guess I’m just an ungrateful second class citizen.

My reaction was, ‘It’s not enough.’ Don’t get me wrong. I get that it’s a big deal for a sitting American president to come out in favour of (gay) marriage. Fine. But they are just words.

He continued to say that he believes it needs to be an issue tackled state by state. For those keeping count, 32 states have passed laws or ammendments to their state constitutions banning gay unions or marriages. Laws have been passed saying they no longer recognise marriages from out-of-state. I have friends – lesbian headed families like our own – who literally never leave their state because all the protection for them ceases at the borders. And even within those borders, they have to carry around adoption certificates to prove they have the right to make decisions for their child.

If you are in a man-woman marriage with kids, imagine being alone with your kids while one of them falls and smashes their head in. Imagine not being allowed to make medical decisions or even see your kid. That is the reality for gay families in America.

State changes are not enough. Equality needs to be handled on a federal level – this ensures legal rights are protected across the entire country. It also means immigration is impacted….which means families like mine might actually be able to make a choice about whether they want to live in Obama land or continue to reside in their top secret, equality loving country. You know, as opposed to feeling abject terror every time they visit family in that country, because one half of the couple could be REFUSED ENTRY to America because they are married to an American same-sex partner.

Every major civil rights issue has this in common. Read up on women getting the vote, on interracial marriage. All were originally state issues. Until people realised how fucked up that was, because individual states were were millions of years away from all coming to an agreement. So the federal government stepped up – and however you feel about government involvement in ‘private’ life, I think we can all agree that women should vote, interracial couples should be able to marry, that same sex couples should be able to marry.

I only hope the federal government grows a pair and deals with this issue – and that it is an equality supporter like Obama that heads the government when that mighty day finally comes.

Have an extra six minutes? Watch this.

8 weeks 3 days preggo with two eggos.

January 20, 2009

In my limited experience of pregnancy, I’d have to say that each experience is different. In some ways, I think I’m getting off lucky with my symptoms. In others, I think – ‘Jesus CHRIST, I’m throwing up all the time!’

This is my twin pregnancy: I’ve been lying on the couch for three weeks now due to The Accident. This means I can take naps at will, focus on eating, and just generally rest emotionally and physically. I can’t compare what this pregnancy would be like if The Accident hadn’t happened. This is the experience as I’ve had it.

A big boil next to my nose (awesome), huge red patches of dry skin on other parts of my face (awesomer), and a wee little golden beard that TMD said the light glinted off last night (awesomest!). I’m throwing up 1-2 times a day, and having horrid dry heaving 1-2 times a day as well. A lot of bad nausea at all hours of the day. Sore boobs, bright nipples, veins so luminous the skin barrier appears to be disappearing. They are now on my abdomen as well. I also have The Dizzies now and then.

None of this particularly bothers me. The cosmetic stuff is merely that – surface level things that don’t really matter. The nausea is a bit more, well, gross. You know how sometimes when you throw up you can’t catch your breath between heaves? That’s me, every night after dinner. Last night it happened in the bathtub. I’m waiting excitedly for the time I manage to make TMD throw up in sympathy; her gag reflex has kicked in on a few occasions, and now I’m not allowed to talk about throwing up because it makes her nauseous. Hell YEAH.

I find myself getting increasingly obnoxious, particularly at bathtime (am I a toddler myself?) because of the accompanying pain from The Accident.

TMD: Boy, my muscles hurt.
Me: You get run over by a fucking motorcycle and THEN you can talk about your muscles hurting.

TMD: Boy, I’m tired.
Me: Tired? You get pregnant with twins and THEN you tell me how fucking tired you are.


TMD: (nothing. quietly sitting minding her own business)
Me: *sobbing* You’d better appreciate me! And these babies! Look what I’m doing! I’m all fucking sick from carrying YOUR unborn children!

Yeah. It’s probably a good thing I’m locked away in the house. I still can’t believe I’m still off work. The muscle pain continues to improve; nerve pain still there, but also not as intense. I can now reliably manage to take myself to the bathroom most of the time. I can also put weight on The Leg to help me stand up. I think the real problem now is that the muscle has contracted. I can’t straighten my leg and put my foot flat on the floor when I’m standing. I think I need to start some stretches or something. Three weeks of not using the muscle can’t be good, hey?

Haven’t heard anything from the hospital yet – I’m hoping an appointment letter for the 12 week scan will come through sometime soon. In the meantime, I’m going to watch Obama’s inauguration today, write Christmas thank yous, perhaps send Christmas cards to those who did not get cards (we ended up sending NONE because of the whole IVF/pregnancy thing). It’s all a bit awkward as only a very limited number of people know about the babies. This leaves us with no real excuse for ignoring everyone at Christmas. (Sunbonnet Sue, I think of how I have not sent you a card like every day. No lie.)

One good thing is that TMD has put this shit I call ‘Napalm’ on my nose-boil. It’s essentially cream for diaper rash, but it’s awesome for spots. It’s turned the giant boil into a tasty little scab. I’ve liked scabs since I was a kid. I find myself touching The Scab like three times an hour. Delicious!


November 5, 2008

It feels like a holiday.

On the train to work this morning, a woman with a heavy Ghanian accent was talking with a white Swiss lady.  The Ghanian lady said, ‘My sister, if you asked her who the prime minister was, she’d have to stop and think.  But can you believe, she texted me at 5 am this morning to say that Obama had won!’

The white lady said, ‘That is amazing, all these people getting involved.’  She paused, then grabbed the black lady’s hands and squealed, ‘This is so exciting!’

I looked at the black lady, locked eyes with her, and we both beamed at each other.

Walking to work, a group of three very loud men were clutching newspapers and chatting.  One said, ‘What a day for America, for everybody.  The world is a safer place now. The world is a safer place.’

I keep smiling and smiling, feeling a pride in a country I’ve long felt very cynical about – not just a country, but my country. At 6 am this morning as we were watching the celebrations for Obama’s victory, I turned to TMD and said, ‘You know, maybe there’s a chance of us moving there now.’

And for the first time since I’ve moved abroad, I could realistically wonder when/if federal law would allow gay marriage – and recognise people who’d been married elsewhere. If this happens, suddenly the world opens back up to us.

Congratulations to everyone who voted for this incredible, idealistic man – this black man. What a fucking fantastic day.