Posts Tagged ‘morning sickness’


February 13, 2009

Shitgoddamn. I just sprang up from my desk to run to the bathroom, and the resulting pain in my knee was fucking intense. Add that to the uterine pain on my right side, AND the fact that after all that I didn’t throw up….and you’ve got yourself a party.

If I was alone right now I would start crying and never stop. I am so tired of this. I am so TIRED, plain and simple. I don’t know how to get home because I don’t want to go on the trains yet. My manager will be here another hour. I hope the salted crisps help, but considering I’m still feeling absofuckinglutely terrible, I suspect not.


And TMD is with her fucking youth group so her phone is off. I want to call someone and cry cry cry cry cry cry cry.

Please god why.

February 13, 2009

I have been getting violently ill for the past two hours at work. This was really super convenient as we were having a team meeting. No doubt I looked like a jack-in-the-box with all the jumping up and running out of the room in med-sentence.

You know when your manager asks you if you are alright to present a new clinical referral that it is time to check for vomit spots on your glasses.

It is Friday and I am going to work late because I am too afraid to leave. I don’t want to throw up on the train.

I need to cry again.

Pregnancy suits me, clearly.

February 13, 2009

I am sick, sick, sick of getting sick. This morning was a nice extended ten minute period of yacking up peppermint tea – a tea that is meant to settle your stomach, mind.

TMD reminded me this morning that tomorrow when I am officially twelve weeks pregnant we begin the weaning off of the progesterone. She actually said the medication was ‘all bullshit’ and that I should just stop taking it now. The memory of the nurse saying that stopping progesterone suddenly can cause a bleed is very fresh in my mind, though. I can’t decide if tomorrow is the official weaning start date, or the last official day of being fully dosed. Again, TMD is clearly frustrated by a medication she thinks is responsible for this lingering illness – and is gunning for me to finish ASAP.

In other news, liquid on anything but a completely full stomach makes me fucking violently ill. My pee is still a very dark yellow. If I had some fluids and an IV at home, I might just hook myself up for the weekend. Yesterday I drank more than I have in months (the amount probably required for non-pregnant people to survive for two hours) – and felt the need to pee twice. As someone who now only goes to the bathroom out of habit and not necessity, this felt like a blessing.

I am tired tired tired. Could easily weep.


Tatiana is probably having her wee baby right now. I am selfishly sad because no doubt her blogging will slightly be cut back (or WILL it? She was blogging through early labour! She is more hardcore than I am.), but also really, really happy for her and her husband. Rarely do I meet bloggers that I actually think I would like in real life, but she is one of them. Go, Tatiana! Push that baby out!

I’m rambling now to stop me from keeling over. I have been shoving food in my mouth all day and am starting to think other people just think I am gaining Santa-weight (you know, the tummy). Regardless, I am going to eat some cold new potatoes soon. If I can bear it. I stopped myself from getting sick at lunchtime by sheer force of will, a desperate mental chanting, ‘You just ate all those beans, and you KNOW you are not getting enough protein. Keep them down, keep them down, keep them down.’

Last night I got so sick in the car park of the train station that TMD’s head almost exploded. This morning I felt I couldn’t survive the catastrophe of my deoderant breaking off in mid-swipe.


All things aside, I look pretty though. Pretty and pregnant. And today is the first day I have left the house without crutches.


Crazy trimester goodness (you can thank Tatiana for this).

February 12, 2009

There are three schools of thinking in regards to trimesters: development, gestation, and conception. Google if you want to know more because I do not claim to be an expert. My doctor, who admittedly is a dipshit, probably goes by the local accepted standards. Probably. He has said my first trimester ends at twelve weeks.

Next level crazy: my IVF clinic calculates everything from when the embryos are put back. Everywhere on the internet calculates things from the egg retrieval. If we go by The Power Of The Internet and the whole 12 week thing, then I am officially in the midst of my first day as a second trimester lady.

Because I actually trust my IVF clinic, though, unlike any other medical professionals I am currently involved with, I will go by their conception date. I will also go by Dr. G’s trimester dates, because as annoying as he is, he totally gets me into the second trimester more quickly.

In other news, I woke up at 3 am last night and couldn’t fall back to sleep for a couple of hours. This was not helped by the fact that during my awake spell I had copious dry heaving and a wee bit o’ vomit. I woke up this morning for another wee bit o’ vomit. This is how things have settled: morning dry heaves and vomiting, then mostly okay for the day. Have not vomited during the work day, for example – touch wood.

Am thinking I am at a point where I need to amp up my food intake. Have now lost THREE pounds. This is so not good. My special twins book says I should be eating three large meals and four substantial snacks a day. It defines a snack as a microwave meal OR cereal, whole fat milk, and a banana. I have never eaten so much, even when I was a bona fide fatty. Should be interesting.

I am semi-fake eating every few hours. How to eat large amounts every two? I am also thinking about meat a lot. The smell drives me  crazy, in a feeding frenzy kind of way. But I’ve not eaten meat in so many years I dread vomiting on contact – or the resulting ass sickness that happens when veggies go carnivore. AWESOME.

Say hello to my belly, everyone!

Secret codes. (Or: TMD is also beating Bowser’s ass. Kinda.)

February 2, 2009

The code word for getting/not getting sick is now ‘playing the quiz show.’ This is because we don’t want to jinx anything or because sometimes just thinking about being ill makes me upchuck.

On yesterday’s quiz show, I got first place. So far today I’m doing really well, too. If I make it to bedtime with no, uh, commercial breaks, that’ll mean two days running. I would love to appear tomorrow as the defending champion.

Vomit watch.

February 2, 2009

So. I think in the last entry I mentioned a vomit-free day? The day after that I got sick once. The day after THAT I threw up three times – once into my hands – and had heavy retching an additional four times. Then yesterday, nada.

There Are No Rules With Morning Sickness. I don’t care what your momma tole you. Sure, don’t mix foods and liquids. Sure, eat every 2 hours (twins!) or 3 (singleton) and NEVER EVER allow your stomach to be empty. Don’t eat big meals – think of your life as one constant graze-a-thon.

None of it matters! Patterns are crazy-daisy.

The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not drinking enough water, principally because it is always a constant when I get sick. Am now mixing a fruit juice with sparkling water, and that is like a magical drink.

So……….what else? I can feel the babies. Not in a moving around sort of way, but in the way that it now feels awkward to lean forward very far or twist my body in a certain way.

The biggest news, though, is that after four weeks off, today was supposed to be the day I went back to work. I sort of knew from the snow last night that perhaps there would be problems – well. WELL. Woke up today. It’s still snowing and our back garden (well, the view from every window, actually, but the back garden is all lovely with just trees) looks like Santa’s grotto.

TMD works for a very VERY big ‘company’, for want of a better word, and hundreds of people have been told to stay home. All schools in her work area closed, no one going into work, etc. My train line is fucked – but TMD said, ‘Um, if there is any snow or ice in the city, how can you get around on crutches?’

Snow and ice in the city? What? THAT city, in THIS country?

So I texted my boss – who conveniently lives in the city – and yes. Snow everywhere, and still coming down.

Because I don’t want to be the only person staying at home like an asshole, I texted Green who lives semi-just-down-the-road from me and planted the seed in her mind that perhaps she’s better off staying home today. Master manipulator, that’s me.

Today is my day to beat that whore Bowser in World 8.


TMD just said something perfect. If you ever watched Friends, you may know of the episode where the boys are playing that totally fucked up game – the golden monkey in the tree, etc. (Or even ‘cups,’ as I’ve just thought of it.)



Also, if Aussie lived near us, I was not pregnant, and I was not a pseudo-cripple, we would TOTALLY have so much fun today. Off road sledding!!!

Hash browns turn that frown upside down.

January 30, 2009

Dr. G was wrong about something else, but it works in my favour. He said it would take ‘months’ for the physiotherapy referral to go through; it almost seemed like he was trying to dissuade me. I told him to make a referral anyway, and now I’ve got an appointment for next Friday. Boo yah!

I feel like such an ass. I took a month off for this bloody leg injury. Next Thursday Joy has said I can work from home so I don’t have to worry about coming back in time for my midwife’s appointment. And now next Friday will be a definite half day – if I go in at all. I feel like a terrible employee. I know none of this is my fault, but it still makes me feel bad.  If I was still working at Day Job, I wouldn’t give a good goddamn. But I actually like Operation Fingerpaint. *sigh*

In other news, I had a dream about S. Drawl and Juice-ica this morning. This was after eating two McDonald’s breakfast meals TMD ran out to get me. I’ve got this specialist book about expecting twins, and, well, I should be bulking the fuck up. Of course Mc Donald’s is not the answer, but this book does stress that fats are very important in a twin pregnancy – much more so than a singleton.

I’ve lost another pound, so I thought those greasy little hash browns couldn’t hurt.

Also – no vomit yesterday! Some dry heaves (two periods of it), but no food flying out of my mouth! This is miraculous, especially as the puke-a-thon the night before actually involved me screaming – I don’t know why. One second I was puking, the next involuntarily screaming. Literally.

Sil said she was quite sick during her pregnancy. Of course I asked her what this meant in terms of numbers. She said she had vomited 15 times when she was pregnant. I think that as soon as a woman knows the exact number of her sicknesses, she doesn’t know what sick is. After this conversation I did a little mental math and my conservative estimate is that I have gotten sick well over 100 times. Say it with me: awesome.

Lucky number ten.

January 26, 2009

1. Still off work. This marks the start of week #4. I will be back at work by next Monday at the latest, so help me God.

2. Went to our niece’s Christening yesterday. I assume you capitalise things when they involve renouncing Satan? Anyway, we sat at the very back of the cathedral so I could eat the entire service – and also run outside to puke on their multi-million pound/dollar/whatever lawn if needed. We sat across the aisle from Bil and Sil’s Jewish neighbors, who also spent the whole time feeding their son. TMD and I couldn’t decide if we were the heathen section or the picnic section; in fact, perhaps the two are not mutually exclusive.

3. Bil has told all of his friends we are pregnant with twins, even though we said SHH TOP SECRET to him. They were all loudly congratulating us in front of TMD’s family. This was a little awkward, but we escaped discovery.

4. I’ve not heard from the hospital yet regarding the booking in appointment or the twelve week scan. Going to call them tomorrow. I have a phobia about checking voicemail AND about making phone calls, it would appear. Called Dr. Shitface today to extend my sick  note and get a referral to physiotherapy, and was beyond relieved to hear he couldn’t call back until tomorrow – despite the fact that the referral should have been made eons ago.

5. My leg is wacked. I did a ‘lot’ of ‘walking’ yesterday at the Christening. (Christ claims you for his own!) Translated this means relying heavily on the crutches to walk about three minutes. This exertion has left my leg semi-dead and very stiff.

6. Sil gave me lots of maternity clothes. Yipee! Including a nice pair of jeans that I will have to start wearing now, as in about three weeks time (if that) I reckon they won’t fit anymore.

7. I have finally managed to weigh myself. I was curious to do this because my body is turning into a flobby (the perfect word) garbly mess. Turns out I’ve not gained weight. I’ve not stayed the same. No, folks, I’ve LOST weight from all the upchucking. Nice.

8. I watched a tv show about IVF this morning and just kept crying. Throughout the whole pregnancy thing I have been wondering why I do not feel more special, or pregnant, or mom-ish. My reaction to the IVF programme obviously indicates there is a lot going on under the surface, even if I appear to be disbelieving that there are babies in my stomach. My nipples, vomit, and poochy tummy provide proof things are happening (a disco party? hair braiding? basketball games?) and I STILL DON’T BELIEVE IT. I don’t know if this is normal or what.

9. Nine weeks two days pregnant today.

Part one.

January 22, 2009

Every night I get violently sick. It doesn’t matter if I eat dirt or gourmet food – I will vomit. Unfortunately, my new invalid schedule means that TMD helps me bathe in the evenings….right smack around the time I know I’ll get sick. We consequently keep a sick bowl in the bathroom, which she will hand me when I get that crazed look in my eyes.

I throw my head back, start dry heaving, and the magic bowl is thrust into my hands. I heave my guts out for about five minutes straight, sometimes accompanied by my Hell Voice screaming instructions at her, sometimes by me crying. Last night in the midst of the sickfest, well…I’m not sure what happened.

I think I held the bowl out a little from my face, because the smell can be enough to make me puke another 50 times whether I ‘need’ to or not. The bowl slipped.

I spilled vomit all over my left foot.

When I lifted my ass to allow the water from behind me to move forward and wash my foot, the large pool of vomit rebounded and started to head back at me. Thank god these crutches have buffed my arms up a little, because I had to hold my fat pregnant self up while vomit water swirled beneath me, I still had thick streaks of saliva all over my face, and I could feel chunks of chili between my toes.

This is my life.

Vomitus maximus.

December 22, 2008

From 7 pm on Friday night until 2:15 am, I threw up every 20-25 minutes like clockwork.

I stopped needing to pee. When I do pee, it is very dark brown and smells like you would never ever believe. Friday was so awful I considered going to the hospital on Saturday.

Then I discovered that by eating every hour (by ‘eating’ I mean a couple of grapes, one veggie finger, or some jell-o) it is much more manageable. I cannot drink water though. It makes me so fucking sick it’s unbelievable.

Discovered non-caffinated tea doesn’t make me sick, though, so at least that’s getting some water in.

At work today. Have dry heaved twice this morning, once at my desk – probably to the horror of Green. Am registering with a local doctor tomorrow in the hopes of getting an appointment to see someone soon – although Christmas screws everything up.

Have the date of the first scan  – January 12. This is to determine if the pregnancy is viable. Due to the excessive sickness, I would hazard a guess that it is. It’s also to see how many kidlets there are.

This morning while trying not to faint in the shower, I moaned, ‘We’d better have twins now and then WE ARE DONE. I am NEVER doing this again.’

Coming a little out of the negativity and feeling more positive about the pregnancy, but really so uncomfortable and sick it’s hard not to just cry and feel sorry for myself. I hope the baby/babies won’t be put off the flavour orange forever, since it’s all I can seem to keep down.

I also cannot zip my pants even an inch. These fit just fine before the baby thing. I bought a Bella Band, a big tank top like piece of fabric that you wear down low over your unzipped trousers, saving you from having to buy a bunch of new stuff too soon.

I love that Bella Band.  That’s one good thing in all of this. And it looks cool.

And I’m pregnant! Brown pee and all.

(The smell of my pee makes TMG gag.)

Thank you again for all the comments. Haven’t been online since writing the last entry, and made me feel hugged to get into work and hear from all of you. *mwah*