Posts Tagged ‘lesbian families’

Best babywearing day ever!!

April 3, 2010

I had to come share our morning’s babywearing experience with you all!

We live in a town where the only other babywearing parent we’ve seen has been someone we know. There is a large shopping centre in the centre of town, and we always stop for paninis and things (this time with the babies eating as well – we love baby led weaning!) in an open plan muffin/coffee place in a pretty busy part of the centre.

When we were done eating, TMD got Coconut on her front first – as I wanted ’spotting’ for flinging Snort onto my back as it was the first time I had back wrapped in public and the floors looked hard. *grin*

I was holding him in one arm, trying to sort out the wrap with my left hand, looking for the middle. TMD said people were already staring at that point. I spread the middle of the wrap on the table, put Snort on top of it, and apparently more people started looking. She said when I swung him onto my back, mouths dropped open and one woman exclaimed, ‘That is FASCINATING!’

I am a bit of an exhibitionist (obviously!) so enjoyed performing in public.

Then we were walking around a bookstore, and an interesting family was there as well. They were clearly Orthodox Jews, though there was no mother. The dad was leaning heavily on a cane, and had two gorgeous little daughters. He said, ‘Look! There’s a baby on her back.’ He glanced at me. ‘Do you mind if my daughter has a look? She loves babies.’

We had a nice little chat, and then wandered away. I ended up bumping back into him when my wife was nearby with Coconut, and he said, ‘There are babies everywhere today!’

I smiled and said, ‘These babies are actually twins!’

He said (clearly joking), ‘Oh, how’d you manage that with two women?’ He laughed.

I said, ‘Well, she actually is my wife and these are our kids. I just happened to give birth to them.”

He immediately knelt down by his daughters and said, ‘Did you hear that? These babies are twins, and they have two mummies. Aren’t they lucky? They have two mummies, and you have one daddy. There are all different sorts of families.’

I swear to god my heart nearly melted.

He then said, ‘This is so great. It’s their first time experiencing these things.’ I wasn’t clear if he was referring to twins, babywearing, or two mum familes! *wink*

It’s so nice for me to get out of the house at all, and when it is one nice experience after another, oh, I’m a happy woman.

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If I have to leave the house on my own, I will need Crocs because shoes and socks are beyond me at this point.

April 16, 2009

Just booked our one-day multiples antenatal class. For some reason I was having a minor freak out about booking it – so picked up the phone and did it that way. Yesterday I rang these people to join their Exclusive World of Multiple Babies and they were lovely, and they were lovely again today.

Yesterday when I registered I was really impressed by how gender neutral the woman was. She didn’t ask for my husband’s name, she asked for my partner’s name. Now, I know over here ‘partner’ is a widely applied term – but so handy that it doesn’t imply a sexuality along with it. Today I was asked for my husband or partner’s name; I think these people have undergone some training or something because as soon as she said ‘husband’ she kind of choked up and quickly replaced it with ‘partner.’ Nice.

The weird thing?

She referred to TMD as my ‘birth partner’, but she MEANT ‘wife.’ As in, ‘Is this your birth partner’s first child/children as well?’ and ‘Are you the one carrying the pregnancy?’ She also groovily said (not in a nosy way – it was a question I had to answer for the antenatal referral), ‘I assume you used fertility treatments then?’

Anyway. Class booked. Next step is to book into the local hospital’s free class. No doubt it will be …uh….well, you know, I’ll shut my mouth and hope for the best. I don’t think or know if we will sign up for this other series of antenatal classes (private classes through a national charity – everyone in the world goes to them) as the hospital stuff might cover it anyway. I find it all odd as while I would certainly prefer a vaginal delivery, I just don’t know how things will turn out on the day – it’s like this for multiples. I won’t know for a couple of months yet. Maybe one of you can come over and just teach me how to breathe or something.

Other thing is that I heard back from the local multiples club – they have a meeting tomorrow. While no one believes I am a social hermit because I am so fabulously sparkly with people, I totally hate going along to stuff like this without a friend in tow. I was warned by the email lady that tomorrow might be a bit ‘manic’ as it is school holidays so lots of older twins will be there. Yikes.

Apparently there are a few new twins moms there, though, so it would be quite good to get to know people in the area. I was assured that people ‘forge lifetime friendships’ – normally a churchy cult statement like that would put me off, but actually, I wouldn’t mind a few local lifetime friends. But the meeting’s in a church. Gross.

I am really cooking with this whole babies thing. I am also not moping around or hating bedrest as much this week. In fact, I’m starting to enjoy it. I’m now in a dodgy area where I have outlasted my doctor’s sick note and have not extended it – not even sure where it is. Work has not contacted me and I haven’t contacted them, aside from some emails about my scan and a phone call from Green. I had a tearful half hour earlier this week about missing work, but this is what it is.

I’d rather be successfully cooking babies than struggling to make it through the days at work.

I still have some pretty big stuff to sort out – and the first thing(s) are getting a solicitor so we can make a will, as well as taking legal advice about securing TMD’s parental rights. The law here is changing and if we had conceived a few months later we could have both been on the birth certificate. As it stands, we have to work really hard to make sure our family and babies are safe.

I also need to find a dentist. Yuck. I don’t trust dentists here…but then again I’ve never gone.

….Really grey and gloomy outside today. Hardcore mist coming down into our jungle of a back garden. Regardless, I have done more stuff in the past two days than I have in the past two weeks. I also called the clinic yesterday and found out we will receive our donor’s pen sketch when the babies are born. I also asked about the woman I donated eggs to – waiting to hear back about that.

In the meantime, I may go make myself an ice cream cookie sandwich. They don’t have them in this country (horror, shock, disgust!), but I find they are actually a ‘recipe’ that is within the parameters of ‘things I can cook.’

Love to you all.

(Pictures coming later, assuming I can hook up our new memory card/camera to the laptop with no struggles.)

Love makes the world go round.

April 15, 2009

I’m becoming some sort of lesbian families connection point. A hub, if you will. Okay, okay – that’s a bit optimistic, but still. A friend of a friend has gotten in touch and we are emailing back and forth. She and her partner are thinking about trying to conceive…and they live right by where TMD works.

Hopefully we will also yank M & N into some bizarre lesbian hoedown when they become pregnant. So that’s two lezzie fams.

I also texted some woman who apparently lives around the corner today, essentially trying to convey a sense of coolness while basically asking, ‘Will you be our friend?’ I hope she replies. I am finding a cozy warm spot for random lesbians who are now contacting me with all sorts of conception questions, so perhaps that goodwill will also extend the other direction?

As I now have all this time off work, I am finding some crazy motivation to start up some Lesbian Mummies Club in my area. Stay posted for that.

In other news, I’ve also emailed a non-lesbian (well, I suppose she could be gay, actually) from my local twins club. I think I’m going to go along to a meeting so I can meet other twin mummies. Also going to join the national association for people with multiples today, as soon as I haul my lazy ass off the couch and get my debit card.

Please understand, it’s not like I am anti-straight moms. No, not at all. But lesbian families face a whole host of issues foreign to your average heterosexual couple. But I love you straighties, rest assured.