Posts Tagged ‘egg donor’

Our egg recipient is preggers, too.

April 16, 2009

Ooh, I feel funny. This is going to be an unfiltered post (well, they ALL are, but this one more than most) as I don’t know what I think/feel about this. Just got the call from the clinic.

And jesus are my eggs ripe. The woman I donated eggs to is pregnant with one baby.

I feel funny about this. Funny dunny.

Once we decided to donate eggs – no, once our IVF cycle was underway, really – I felt a-okay about helping another person. When we received an anonymous card from our egg recipient, I felt amazing and warm and gushy for both her and me. Me, like what an amazing person I am. Her, like – OH MY GOD I might be helping another woman with her dream of having a child. That felt fucking fantastic.

It was only a couple of days ago that a bit of….’something’ creeped in. To be real, I hadn’t really thought much or cared in any but a generic way whether or not the other woman was pregnant. Then all of a sudden I have a tap dancing troupe living in my womb and I find myself caring.

I found myself having the hateful, mean wish that the other woman had not conceived – not because I wished her any evil, but because, well, look at what I am making. These two little babies are part me. And I wondered about that other child – will she/he look like me? Love reading? etc etc  An altogether odd feeling. I kept picturing myself on my tenth birthday; I was an unfortunate looking kid, and I suddenly was wondering about this non-child of mine, walking around with bits of me in him/her. I feel like it’s a her.

This child will be able to contact me when they are 18 years old. It’s odd to think that while my two babies are doing their thing, there is another child exactly their age who is also conceived from my eggs. Am I an awful person for questioning this and feeling this way?

When we wanted a baby, I developed a huge pool of empathy towards other people who were trying to get pregnant. I can’t actually imagine what that other woman must have gone through. Perhaps trying ‘the regular way’ or through IUI for ages, then IVF with their own eggs, then IVF with another woman’s eggs. I hope she loves that baby like a mofo, because some blogs I read where people are conceived via donor eggs have a lot of awkward, awful feeling about having to use a donor.

I find that amazing, because the only negative-ish thought I can conjour up about us using a (sperm) donor is that we don’t know what the guy looks like. The babies are uncontrovertably ours, 100%.

Okay.

Enough for now, I think my pizza is probably ready.

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If I have to leave the house on my own, I will need Crocs because shoes and socks are beyond me at this point.

April 16, 2009

Just booked our one-day multiples antenatal class. For some reason I was having a minor freak out about booking it – so picked up the phone and did it that way. Yesterday I rang these people to join their Exclusive World of Multiple Babies and they were lovely, and they were lovely again today.

Yesterday when I registered I was really impressed by how gender neutral the woman was. She didn’t ask for my husband’s name, she asked for my partner’s name. Now, I know over here ‘partner’ is a widely applied term – but so handy that it doesn’t imply a sexuality along with it. Today I was asked for my husband or partner’s name; I think these people have undergone some training or something because as soon as she said ‘husband’ she kind of choked up and quickly replaced it with ‘partner.’ Nice.

The weird thing?

She referred to TMD as my ‘birth partner’, but she MEANT ‘wife.’ As in, ‘Is this your birth partner’s first child/children as well?’ and ‘Are you the one carrying the pregnancy?’ She also groovily said (not in a nosy way – it was a question I had to answer for the antenatal referral), ‘I assume you used fertility treatments then?’

Anyway. Class booked. Next step is to book into the local hospital’s free class. No doubt it will be …uh….well, you know, I’ll shut my mouth and hope for the best. I don’t think or know if we will sign up for this other series of antenatal classes (private classes through a national charity – everyone in the world goes to them) as the hospital stuff might cover it anyway. I find it all odd as while I would certainly prefer a vaginal delivery, I just don’t know how things will turn out on the day – it’s like this for multiples. I won’t know for a couple of months yet. Maybe one of you can come over and just teach me how to breathe or something.

Other thing is that I heard back from the local multiples club – they have a meeting tomorrow. While no one believes I am a social hermit because I am so fabulously sparkly with people, I totally hate going along to stuff like this without a friend in tow. I was warned by the email lady that tomorrow might be a bit ‘manic’ as it is school holidays so lots of older twins will be there. Yikes.

Apparently there are a few new twins moms there, though, so it would be quite good to get to know people in the area. I was assured that people ‘forge lifetime friendships’ – normally a churchy cult statement like that would put me off, but actually, I wouldn’t mind a few local lifetime friends. But the meeting’s in a church. Gross.

I am really cooking with this whole babies thing. I am also not moping around or hating bedrest as much this week. In fact, I’m starting to enjoy it. I’m now in a dodgy area where I have outlasted my doctor’s sick note and have not extended it – not even sure where it is. Work has not contacted me and I haven’t contacted them, aside from some emails about my scan and a phone call from Green. I had a tearful half hour earlier this week about missing work, but this is what it is.

I’d rather be successfully cooking babies than struggling to make it through the days at work.

I still have some pretty big stuff to sort out – and the first thing(s) are getting a solicitor so we can make a will, as well as taking legal advice about securing TMD’s parental rights. The law here is changing and if we had conceived a few months later we could have both been on the birth certificate. As it stands, we have to work really hard to make sure our family and babies are safe.

I also need to find a dentist. Yuck. I don’t trust dentists here…but then again I’ve never gone.

….Really grey and gloomy outside today. Hardcore mist coming down into our jungle of a back garden. Regardless, I have done more stuff in the past two days than I have in the past two weeks. I also called the clinic yesterday and found out we will receive our donor’s pen sketch when the babies are born. I also asked about the woman I donated eggs to – waiting to hear back about that.

In the meantime, I may go make myself an ice cream cookie sandwich. They don’t have them in this country (horror, shock, disgust!), but I find they are actually a ‘recipe’ that is within the parameters of ‘things I can cook.’

Love to you all.

(Pictures coming later, assuming I can hook up our new memory card/camera to the laptop with no struggles.)