Posts Tagged ‘doctors’

Vulcas r us.

July 25, 2013

I told the doctor today that since we don’t own a hand mirror, I tried to use my iPad to check out my labia. (Wonder how much google traffic that little nugget will bring. Ha.)

Apparently it’s not just the one ‘pigmented lesion’ as I have one on the other side, too.

Likely to be nothing, but am being referred to vulvar specialist. They have microscopes that can examine shit while it is still attached to your body, and will do a biopsy if necessary, to check for pre cancerous changes.

I know it is highly unlikely to be anything. But I still won’t completely relax till after seeing the specialist, which is probably in about a month’s time.

FUN.

Phew. (Also, a note to Aussie.)

June 17, 2010

Okay, all. Snort just had his doctor’s appointment regarding his leg creases/hip. She said his legs are perfectly even (same length) straightened or bent, and she’d be very surprised if something was wrong.

She is, though, going to refer him for an ultrasound just to make sure.

All this sounds great, no? The FUN part is that while his exam took maybe 5 minutes at most, she then spent 10 minutes on GOOGLE trying to figure out if she should send him for an x ray or an unltrasound because of his age.

Google.

Aussie and I joke that we ourselves are doctors, in consultation with our friend and colleague Dr. Google. I guess this medical appointment was proof that The Doctah Is In The Hizzouse. Dr. Google, anyway.

I’m not too worried about the fact that she got her information from Dr. Google, because she did seem to know what she was talking about. And she was going to send him for a x ray before Dr. Google told her she was fucking crazy and his hip age still required an ultrasound.

Two doctors are better than one, hey?

The funny thing is that I mentioned I’d been googling to see what uneven hip creases meant while she was examining him, and she looked at me like I had a plague of Stupids living in my head. Imagine my joy (and consternation, truth be told) when I glanced at the computer – and only because Snort was throwing himself forward trying to get at the keyboard.

Seeing the google logo as the header of a screen when you have concerns about your baby? Take it from me, that shit is only comforting in the privacy of your own home, as you wield your magic fingers searching for the answers. She searched for ‘investigation of hip d_____’ (whatever the word), and I was like, ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.’ At least she took her final referral info from what appeared to be a research study.

AUSSIE, NEVER LET THEM TELL YOU GOOGLE DOESN’T HAVE THE ANSWERS.