Posts Tagged ‘blood tests’

Number one on my wishlist…

October 14, 2008

I have been worrying lately that I’m too much of a worrier. Like my brain instantly jumps to The Worst Possible Outcome in any unknown or ambiguous situation. I’ve been reading Becoming a Mother and realising that everyone thinks they have cancer at some point, or just KNOWS a mysterious man will rape them on a dark street, etc.


What prompted this? The clinic rang and left a message while I was in a clinical meeting. I rang back. The girl said they had the test results, and then put me on hold for ages. Of course I thought, ‘Oh Jesus, I’ve got a chromosomal fuck-up and they are discussing the best way to tell me.’ Turns out the girl was just new and didn’t know what she was doing.

End results: every. single. blood. test. (I think we’re talking about twenty!) is back and everything is a-okay. The head nurse is due to ring me back and discuss the treatment plan with me. This is it: it’s all real now. We are doing IVF.

I think this means I begin taking the pill when my vagina next emits The Blood, and then on day 17 I start forcing TMD to give me injections while I keep my eyes averted. Then I will bleed once more, then more shots, and ultrasounds, and blood tests, and egg harveting, and ICSI, and embryos being put back into Uterous Land. Phew. At that point I will pregnant until proven otherwise….and have an endless wait till I get a blood test confirming whether or not we are pregnant.

BABY TIME, people. Baby time.


Therapy -> poop -> prunes -> baby

October 14, 2008

As much as I like the people I work with, sometimes it is a relief when they cancel. I have SO MUCH work to do, and now today has evened out to only having a clinical meeting – and then all my millions of phone calls, etc. I don’t do well with having to do too much.

Back to those prune brownies – I hadn’t really pooped since last Thursday, and then weighed myself this morning (thankfully I did drop some kids at the swimming pool after that). Yikes. I should clearly be an adherant to the Weight Watchers way of life. Feel like chocolate? Go for a twenty mile jog – it’s more fun than eating!

Yeah, yeah. Feed me another line of bullshit.

Regardless, I lost 59.5 pounds over the course of about 18 months. I’ve now managed to put back ON 16 pounds since June. Impressive, no? I think it’s a combination of working such long hours (short to normal people, long to me as Day Job was four years of slacking off), getting home late and therefore starving, and baby stuff. I fake pregnancy eat all the time.

I don’t want to lose all this weight because significant weight loss can impact on fertility. However, if I lost four teeny tiny pounds I would be the weight my fertility clinic thinks I am. In my crazy mind, they have prescribed meds for someone weighing four pounds less, so if I don’t manage to produce enough eggs it MUST be because the extra weight diluted the meds.

I just called them to ask if my final test results are back in. In case you are wondering, I’m at Day 18 of my cycle. This means I should bleed like a river in about ten days – and that’s when I want to start taking the birth control pill. I want clarity around what happens if the test results aren’t back in – because I want to pop those heterosexual pills when I get my period, tests or no tests. And if the tests come back saying I’m somehow screwed up DNA-wise, then I get off the pill. (And possibly have a nervous breakdown.)

The nurse is going to find out what’s happened with the tests, since I took them September 18. Even though I know I have given her my correct phone number to ring me back, The Crazy In Me keeps double-checking.

Okay. Hungry already.

Viruses are fun for everyone.

September 29, 2008

So….I tested positive for something on one of the blood tests. My first thought wasn’t what it was or the effect it might have on me. No, I thought, I hope I can still be an egg sharer. Have a call in to the clinic to book my FINAL blood test (if I have any blood left) and will try to clarify with them the results I received today.

I’ve done some clever googling on the topic, and am not worried about this particular virus. Apparently 50-80% of women of childbearing age have it. I also ended up at the website of the regulating body for fertility treatments, and it gives clinical guidance that I CAN still donate – but only to women who also test positive. I’m guessing my clinic will follow that guidance, because egg donors are in short supply and they’d be cutting off a whole load of people if they blackballed seropositive people.

I think I contracted this little ditty in college – I wonder if Cookie remembers the menengitis scares on campus, and the time sort of around that period where all I could do was sleep in Chairy? My medical psychic powers are pinpointing that as the one and only time this virus particularly flared up.


Had a mild freak out when I read about how it can affect pregnant women and pre-natal babies, but apparently the side effects only happen if the mum contracts it for the first time during pregnancy. I don’t know about breastfeeding and if I’ll be able to now that I’m all communicable-diseased-up, but that’s another question for another day.

Peace out, my seropositive and seronegative brothas and sistas.

September evenings smell so good.

September 20, 2008

Went back to the clinic this week for – drumroll, please – more blood tests. We also had ‘counselling.’ Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had an intensifying feeling that I really may not be very good at my new job. Still, TMD keeps doing impressions of the counsellor we saw, and I think all I have to do to remember that I don’t suck is realise that at least I’m not OPENING MY MAIL during sessions.

Still, she hooked us up with what will probably be a useful network, told us to sort out our wills, and also showed us a book I really rilly want. It’s called Our Story, or something like that. It’s the story of two moms and their baby/child – how they had to go to the hospital to help get pregnant, etc. It’s not as creepy as Heather Has Two Moms (sorry, I know I am offending all you right on lesbians out there, but I remember that book being fucking WEIRD), and has cute kid-drawn illustrations. I want it, dudettes. Only seven smackaroonies.

The other useful thing the counsellor said was that we are already trying to conceive. In a bizarre way I already feel pregnant, though obviously that hasn’t happened. However, A Good Friend Who May Wish To Remain Anonymous thinks she’s pregnant with the next Jesus, and if that’s true I’m pregnant with Jesus III.

I think the only thing I have any doubts about is donating eggs. Am I not the altruistic kind? In a way, it feels like giving a child up for adoption or something. It’s odd as I have no ethical qualms about using donor sperm; though I do think women tend to be more precious about their eggs. Since our visit to the clinic on Thursday (?), I’ve been googling ‘IVF versus IUI’ a lot, and I am feeling really rock solid about IVF. It is the right choice for us.

There are fears – if IVF doesn’t work, it would feel sort of hope-draining to have to go ‘backwards’ to IUI. But as much as I resist it, I am feeling ridiculously positive and shining about the baby I know IVF will bring us. We’re going to the clinic again next week to have the IVF consult. The only thing hanging over my head is this fucking laparoscopy. The pain in my lower right abdomen is clearly going away, and I am so impatient to cook me up some baby pancakes that I almost don’t want to bother with the surgery. I’ve got the consult for that next Monday.

I’ve been to hospitals/clinics/my doctor more times since July than I have in the ENTIRE time I’ve lived in this country.  (Oh, I’m almost an official citizen! My ceremony is on October 6. Rock on free passport holder!)

Have I ever told you about Daisy and Joey? When we were growing up, my sister liked punching me in the stomach. Fuck knows why. I got around this for a number of years by telling her I had twins growing in me. At one point, another baby called Petunia joined the crew – but it was really Daisy and Joey who ruled the roost.

In a completely crazy, mostly unscientific sort of way, I am convinced we are going to have twins. One in four IVF births does result in multiples, so it’s not too unreasonable to think it might happen to us. I think the whole Daisy and Joey argument is perhaps erring on the side of wack-a-doodle-doo…..but my friend Opposite Gender Soulmate told me he had a dream a few months back that he was looking at pictures of me and TMD on Facebook, and we had twins. While he initially wrote this off due to stalking my profile AND seeing a scary movie about twins (why oh why didn’t I ask the name of it? I wish my wife liked scary movies!), he now says he thinks he ‘saw the faces of our future children.’

He also pointed out that I do like having two of everything (ie ‘one for best’).

Fuck it. If I’m not allowed to be chirpy and charmingly superstitious in my own diary, where can I be?

(I still am having big pooping problems. TMD is not amused.)

PS – The counsellor asked me what my orientation was. My reaction was a quiet astonishment, since I was there with my wife. Turns out she meant my theorectical counselling orientation.

PPS – I had a PPS but wanted to get down the PS first, and now I forgot it. Fuck.

PPPS – Fuck! Thought I remembered it, but then got dissauded by another PS and now I think I’ve forgot that one as well.

PPPPS – YES. Had a dream last night – been dreaming a lot about IVF. Last night we had two perfect embryos ready to be put back in my womb, and it was a boy and a girl. (No, we’re not planning on asking for this information in real life.) This is what TMD would like to happen, and I turned to her in the dream and sort of sigh-talked, ‘It’s just what we wanted!’

PPPPPS – I changed the name of this country’s currency for ‘smackaroonies.’ Am I uber-paraboid or what?

Ain’t no party like a Diet Coke party.

September 17, 2008

This whole baby thing is already driving me slightly crazy. I don’t know what it will be like to be actually trying for a child, because right now I haven’t had anything done to my body (not really, anyway), and I already feel I can wear the label ‘trying to conceive’ without it being a total lie.

Went to my doctor’s in my lunch hour to pick up blood tests – only two results were back. They were the two I didn’t even need. There is a big question mark over the other tests and whether they will be free or not. Tomorrow morning I’ve got blood tests at our non-free clinic – tests for cystic fibrosis as well as a chromosomal analysis. This is to make sure I’m not donating eggs to other people that will hatch baby monsters, I assume.

I am just not a take-it-easy kind of person, much as I would like to think I am. I need to have things planned out, have a clear outline – at least in relation to babymaking. I’d like to know when we can start, and there is so much uncertainty in the air I’m always feeling a wee bit nervous. I also feel really really positive, though, so that’s the good part.

Every time my right abdomen hurts, I get annoyed because it means I will have to go ahead and have the laparoscopy. Annoying, and I bet they find nothing aside from the tiny cyst non-free clinic found. (Free tests did NOT find it. I am not surprised – you get what you pay for?)

I also know I’ve got the tendancy to go a bit obsessive. I think my major task right now is just relaxing. To that end, I am drinking tea again on occasion, as well as the odd Diet Coke. Go, me! I’m so crazy I don’t know what to do with myself!


I feel really cheerful.

September 12, 2008

You know when your Friday starts with sitting in McDonald’s for twenty minutes staring out the window (and trying not to look homeless), going for a blood test with Aussie, going BACK to McDonald’s for some gross food, getting sick in an unholy way in the bathroom, hopping on a bus to work, getting a phone call saying they forgot to get enough blood, walking BACK to the hospital for more tests, and then arriving at work to the sounds of sledgehammers…it’s gonna be a good day.

I have two neat little circle plasters on the inside of each elbow, hiding the needle sticks.

Have I mentioned I work in a drug and alcohol agency?

My last batch of blood tests happened just before I started working here, and I was covered in bruises around the injection sites. NICE.