Posts Tagged ‘21 weeks pregnant’

T minus 8 minutes.

April 20, 2009

Lots of good, good things to write about – not least of which, the shining sun. But right now I’m feeling a lot about work. I texted my boss this morning, only to log into my email and see she emailed me on Friday. I’m at the point where I’ve just sent The Email saying I probably am going to be off sick until I start my annual leave and then maternity leave….we’re going to be talking later this afternoon. I’m waiting for a phone call from some random doctor to extend my sick leave a couple of weeks – I’m hesitant to be signed off until the end of May as I think I may have already gulped up all my sick leave entitlement this year.

Practicalities aside, I miss work. I had three nightmares last night about work. There were no vampires, but lots of stress and worry. I know I can’t actually go back, and that makes things a bit better because it takes choice out of my hands. We had a very brief outing on Saturday (one of the good things I will write about later this afternoon), and it left me incapacitated yesterday. I even had difficulty walking. Good times.

But it’s saying goodbye to work which is painful. Not least of which because I’m not sure I’ll be going back at the end of maternity leave. I don’t know how I will react to being a stay at home mom; I don’t know if our finances will hold up. But even if I go back to part time work, I don’t know if it can reasonably be to this job. I am telling them I am coming back as that is the official plan right now, but the idea of not going back is gutting.

I worked for Day Job for four and a half years, most of which was spent wishing I didn’t work there. I’ve only been at Operation Fingerpaint since last June, and I can’t believe that after years of wanting the perfect job now that I’ve got it I’m not actually there. I feel a big sense of loss.

Don’t get me wrong. I am excited about the babies, about preparing for them, about meeting them. This is a whole new chapter in my life and will probably be the best (and hardest) thing we ever do. But I’ve got plenty of room in my heart to also mourn Operation Fingerpaint, and what it means. I do believe life – and my own decisions – will take me in good directions. But right now I feel a little sad.

Anyway. Hoping the doctor calls soon and it’s no problem to just get my sick note extended. Tomorrow I go to meet the specialist physiotherapist who will help me with my womanly pregnancy problems, and Thursday I’m going to see a midwife. Busy, busy.

If I drove and Operation Fingerpaint was near where we live, I would be trying to see if I could manage going back. But job aside (which involves minimal walking but probably enough to floor me), I don’t think I could actually handle the commute. You all know what this means – no more cozy chats with John, my crazy train friend. Oh, wait, I guess that’s a good thing.

If I have to leave the house on my own, I will need Crocs because shoes and socks are beyond me at this point.

April 16, 2009

Just booked our one-day multiples antenatal class. For some reason I was having a minor freak out about booking it – so picked up the phone and did it that way. Yesterday I rang these people to join their Exclusive World of Multiple Babies and they were lovely, and they were lovely again today.

Yesterday when I registered I was really impressed by how gender neutral the woman was. She didn’t ask for my husband’s name, she asked for my partner’s name. Now, I know over here ‘partner’ is a widely applied term – but so handy that it doesn’t imply a sexuality along with it. Today I was asked for my husband or partner’s name; I think these people have undergone some training or something because as soon as she said ‘husband’ she kind of choked up and quickly replaced it with ‘partner.’ Nice.

The weird thing?

She referred to TMD as my ‘birth partner’, but she MEANT ‘wife.’ As in, ‘Is this your birth partner’s first child/children as well?’ and ‘Are you the one carrying the pregnancy?’ She also groovily said (not in a nosy way – it was a question I had to answer for the antenatal referral), ‘I assume you used fertility treatments then?’

Anyway. Class booked. Next step is to book into the local hospital’s free class. No doubt it will be …uh….well, you know, I’ll shut my mouth and hope for the best. I don’t think or know if we will sign up for this other series of antenatal classes (private classes through a national charity – everyone in the world goes to them) as the hospital stuff might cover it anyway. I find it all odd as while I would certainly prefer a vaginal delivery, I just don’t know how things will turn out on the day – it’s like this for multiples. I won’t know for a couple of months yet. Maybe one of you can come over and just teach me how to breathe or something.

Other thing is that I heard back from the local multiples club – they have a meeting tomorrow. While no one believes I am a social hermit because I am so fabulously sparkly with people, I totally hate going along to stuff like this without a friend in tow. I was warned by the email lady that tomorrow might be a bit ‘manic’ as it is school holidays so lots of older twins will be there. Yikes.

Apparently there are a few new twins moms there, though, so it would be quite good to get to know people in the area. I was assured that people ‘forge lifetime friendships’ – normally a churchy cult statement like that would put me off, but actually, I wouldn’t mind a few local lifetime friends. But the meeting’s in a church. Gross.

I am really cooking with this whole babies thing. I am also not moping around or hating bedrest as much this week. In fact, I’m starting to enjoy it. I’m now in a dodgy area where I have outlasted my doctor’s sick note and have not extended it – not even sure where it is. Work has not contacted me and I haven’t contacted them, aside from some emails about my scan and a phone call from Green. I had a tearful half hour earlier this week about missing work, but this is what it is.

I’d rather be successfully cooking babies than struggling to make it through the days at work.

I still have some pretty big stuff to sort out – and the first thing(s) are getting a solicitor so we can make a will, as well as taking legal advice about securing TMD’s parental rights. The law here is changing and if we had conceived a few months later we could have both been on the birth certificate. As it stands, we have to work really hard to make sure our family and babies are safe.

I also need to find a dentist. Yuck. I don’t trust dentists here…but then again I’ve never gone.

….Really grey and gloomy outside today. Hardcore mist coming down into our jungle of a back garden. Regardless, I have done more stuff in the past two days than I have in the past two weeks. I also called the clinic yesterday and found out we will receive our donor’s pen sketch when the babies are born. I also asked about the woman I donated eggs to – waiting to hear back about that.

In the meantime, I may go make myself an ice cream cookie sandwich. They don’t have them in this country (horror, shock, disgust!), but I find they are actually a ‘recipe’ that is within the parameters of ‘things I can cook.’

Love to you all.

(Pictures coming later, assuming I can hook up our new memory card/camera to the laptop with no struggles.)