The one where I was proved wrong. Ha.

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So….we went back to that church for another concert today. It was guitar and flute, and the kids (mine and another girl we will call Jazz due to her groovy moves) were pretty into it. They did a spot of normal dancing, and some dancing in the form of running around, hanging from stair railings, and singing along.

I was not my normal relaxed self. Rather than feeling happy my kids were dancing and loving the music, I was all tense and trying to keep them confined to one area. Our friend said, ‘We don’t have to stay for the whole thing,’ so we left. I asked Jazz and Snort if they wanted to go play out, both said yes. I didn’t ask Coconut, who, as it transpired, was very sad to leave and stop dancing.

While we were preparing to go, an older man went up to my friend to inform her that we were ‘ruining it for everyone else.’ Twice.

Out in the park, I was over thinking this. Then the flute player came out and told us how much she loved seeing the children dance. She thought they were fab.

I had to nip into the cafe again with the kids for a pee break, and I overheard flute lady talking to church guy. Again, saying how fabulous it was to see young children at the concert and how great their dancing was. The three of us got into a conversation, and church guy said they don’t want to exclude anyone and he hoped we came back. Flute lady, when told about old man, said, ‘Country B can be so constipated about expectations of young children.’ So she was pretty right on. She also said we shouldn’t have let a grumpy man chase us out, as he needed to ‘own his own bullshit,’ and it really had nothing to do with us.

I don’t know what lessons I ended up teaching the kids today. That if they give in to exuberance and passion and dance, we make people angry, mama gets tense, and we have to leave the concert.

I particularly worry about little Coconut, who has trouble relaxing and letting go in public. Today was her first public dancing, and I don’t know what sort of impression it’s all left on her.

In reality, they weren’t overly terrible, just enthusiastic and really enjoying themselves. So I’ve got a mad helping of guilt going on, but it is tempered by the reality that they also had a great time out in the churchyard/park afterward with Jazz.

Also, note to self: when your kid requests to sit in the back row, go with it. Don’t make them sit in the front so they have a better view. Because in the back, you can do your thang and no one will be bothered. A nice compromise.

Because there is a fine line between enjoying ourselves and being considerate of other people… I don’t know which side of the line we were on, I don’t know if I handled things appropriately, I don’t know if my relaxing would have made them more or less crazy. All I DO know is that today’s the first day of my period, and I know that adds to my crazy obsessing! I think next time we would move to the back of the church and try that rather than full out leaving.

Where do you draw the line?

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2 Responses to “The one where I was proved wrong. Ha.”

  1. Lyssie Says:

    Personally I love to see children dancing and enjoying themselves to music in public. Children’s enthusiasm for life is awesome. I think the line comes when/if the children become disruptive and interfere with other people’s enjoyment, which it doesn’t seem was the case here. It sounds to me like this was just one grumpy man who got to you because you weren’t feeling quite yourself.

    I’d hate to think Snort and Coconut took away anything negative about the way they conduct themselves because of this one rather silly man. I think flute lady was right though, that particular country has very rigid attitudes in terms of “classical” music and how it’s acceptable to express your appreciation of it. No wonder children feel excluded.

    • me Says:

      I definitely think we may have been treading the borderline of disruptive. Snort forgets himself and makes loud noises from time to time, they were running like lunatics, etc.

      When we first got there Snort wanted to sit in the back row, and looking back, I think that would have been better than the front row I led us to! They could have run around to their heart’s content on the back and no one would have known….

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