Aaaaand adoption kicks off!

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Holy crap, you guys, we have a social worker!!

For those not in the loop, here in Country B if a lesbian couple who is legally partnered go through fertility treatment at a clinic, both are automatically listed on the birth certificate. This was not always the case. In fact, the law changed to this more equality and reality driven model a scant four months after we conceived. This means we have had to do a lot of shit to protect our family – wills in case I died in childbirth, a brief court trip and some paperwork to get TMD parental responsibility, etc. we have also been on the waiting list for TMD to officially adopt Snort and Coconut since they were infants.

Once they are adopted, their birth certificates will be amended. We view this as rectifying an error and not as traditional adoption, seeing as we are the only family unit the children have ever known. It will also offer us more security and possibly affect immigration issues. So it’s a big deal.

I’ve been desperate for this to happen before they were school age for many reasons. The major thing I am concerned about is the confusion or distress the process may cause them. TMD clarified our situation with the manager today and hopefully the worker and her student will be sensitive to our unique family needs. The second reason is the slight chance we may slip through the net and be able to remain unknown as home educators. It doesn’t really matter too much if we become known, but there are potential pains in the asses I would like to avoid.

So last week I wrote a letter explaining all of my concerns as a parent and a professional (I’m a trained, qualified, and eligible for accreditation counselor, for those who don’t know). I sent it to two friends to have a read and elicit opinions. All I needed to do was hunt down the addresses for the main point of contact and some other influential bigwigs so we could post this thing next week.

Anyway, I got a text from TMD saying, ‘The universe read your letter. We have a social worker!’

And it gets better.

She needs to begin work with us immediately, as the whole thing needs to be wrapped up in SIX WEEKS. There may be a delay in our court date, but all the meetings and paperwork will be done. A-fucking-men, am I right?

Now that this whole thing is starting, I’m a bit angry we have to go through it in the first place. Also a bit anxious, despite knowing we will fly through. Despite my negative feelings, I am super excited this is finally happening for us. We were told before that there are no concerns for our children’s welfare, so we were unlikely to ever be allocated a social worker as we were not priority. I reckon this woman is going off on maternity leave or has handed in her notice or something, so she needs short pieces of work that are really a matter of ticking boxes.

So YAY.

I sometimes like to think my blog can help other families or individuals in similar situations to us, but I suspect in this case we are the last lesbian couple in Country B to need to undergo this process, due to the law change. Still, I guess if any of you get knocked up at home with donor sperm, or you marry a new partner who wants to adopt your children, the following weeks may be of help to you. Anyone who has undergone this process, we welcome info.

The manager today said we will be going through observations as a family. Uh, okay. Observe us, people, because WE ARE AWESOME.

Fin.

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7 Responses to “Aaaaand adoption kicks off!”

  1. Lyssie Says:

    This is great news!

  2. Alice Fraggle Says:

    Congrats! It sucks that you had to do it at all, but it sounds like it should be smooth sailing for you!

  3. nobodysperfick Says:

    I’m super happy for you! We don’t live in a state that allows second parent adoption, so I’m SOL đŸ˜¦

  4. mummysallygg Says:

    Wow! Fantastic news for you guys! Although this does make me feel a bit guilty that we never got further than PR for Bunny. We always intended for my partner to do the official adoption thing, especially as she automatically went on Bear’s birth certificate thanks to the law change. But we just didn’t yet. So now I will be lurking like a stalker while you go through the process first while I find the courage to open our family up to this intrusion. Good luck! I truly hope that it is just a tick box exercise for you all and that they too see the farce in what they are doing.

  5. adoptionista Says:

    Awesome indeed!! Woot!

  6. pajamamommas Says:

    Good news! And I definitely know what you mean about being both excited about the process and angry about having to go through it. It’s so nice to get an Official Stamp of Approval for our family. And at the same time, infuriating that other folks don’t have to go through the time and expense of this process.

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