PottymouthMommy, Mamacrow, Mel, and friends….

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Someone on my Facebook linked me to this super car tool. It’s a keychain, ResQMe (I know, that’s a gross name), that is a centre punch AND a seatbelt cutter. It handily comes in many bright colours.

Another friend (hi, Lauren!) mentioned she didn’t know if she would be able to own that without testing it out. As we drove to meet her at the farm today, I kept glancing at my window and thinking about if I could actually resist exploding the glass at some point. Because that’s what it is: an explosion. You touch it to the glass and BOOM. No more fucking glass, like magic.

Pretty irresistible, am I right?

The thing is, I love water. I’ve been driving since I was fifteen and never been in an accident. I get that some people think about this car crashing into the water shit a lot, but I’m not one of them. Well, at least not until the past three days. But my point is, does it make me MORE weird to think about this when it isn’t a valid phobia or something that is even remotely likely to happen to us?

The day before this drama started, we were walking in town along this canal. It had no fence or barrier, and about a teen foot drop into a very deep, wide, freezing body of water. Of course, I visualised a kid or two running madly towards the edge and freefalling to hypothermic broken bones and water soaked lungs. Though I guess that is, at least, reasonable. Because we were in a scenario where it could happen. Even TMD was like, ‘I’ll jump in, you call the ambulance.’ ACTION PLANS, people.

Normally she rolls her eyes at me. She’s also been quoted this week as saying, in response to my querying if she never genuinely thinks of shit like this, ‘I think about them getting lost in a store, not plummeting into the ocean.’

Anyway, all that aside, I have a ResQMe on the way. I envision myself using it to swoop to the rescue of someone else’s car crash. Or maybe a fire! I’ll be a glass breaking, seatbelt cutting vision….determination in my eyes, hair flowing like a golden rescuer, people weeping they are so happy to see me coming.

Ahem.

Did I mention morbid dream sequences are not the only ones I have?

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3 Responses to “PottymouthMommy, Mamacrow, Mel, and friends….”

  1. erinmarshall71 Says:

    I’m kind of on TMD’s side; I would worry about the less dramatic – but more likely – dangers.
    On the other hand, at least you are prepared for the less likely – and far more terrifying – events.

  2. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    LMAO… the thing is… I panic about weird shit that will probably never happen. When that shit DOES happen though- I’m cool as a cucumber. No panic, no worry, just total calm. AFTERWARDS I freak out. case in point: I almost rolled my car a couple of weeks ago. I was a-ok, but I almost rolled my f’n car!!! I calmly called my boss and told them I was not coming to work because I was in a ditch. Then I calmly called my husband and told him to come and get me and be very very careful because it was very very icy. He would never have known anything was wrong except it was far too soon after leaving the house for me to be calling him from work.

    So yeah… Have I mentioned I’m kind of a freak?

  3. Mel Bowman Says:

    I admit I not so secretly daydream about using my LifeHammer to explode glass. I’m not foolish enough to actually *try* it in my van (unless, ya know, I have to), but beware any spare tempered glass sheets I might come upon!

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