Things you SHOULD say.


I’m so sorry.
I feel so bad that this has happened.

Any variation of the above is an acceptable thing to say when you have been watching my child and she gets hurt badly enough to need a fucking cast.

She got hurt at gymnastics. I can’t place blame because I wasn’t there, and I suppose it could have happened if I had gone with her, too. But the minimalising it? Not okay.

I looked at her arm, squeezed her wrist a bit. Said if she was still upset in an hour to call me, as we would need to go to the doctor. It didn’t matter that I was in pain, a trip to the doctor with coconut trumps my pain.

I got no call. I blame myself for not checking in, but also sort of assumed things were fine. Till you called three hours later and said my kid had been crying the whole time. For that I do place blame. I heard her sobs in the background and said to bring my kids home, that I would call the doctor. You brought them, helped me take them to the doctor. But you weren’t worried, you didn’t apologise, you acted like she was making the whole thing up.

The doctor said she needed to go to hospital for an x ray. You went with your daughter, my wife, and I sit here now while your husband attempts to put Snort to bed in the midst of fireworks exploding every two minutes.

Coconut needs a cast. She has a bend rather than a break, but she needs a cast. How many hours was she in pain without needing to be? How rough were you with getting her in and out of the car, her carseat restraints, that I did it myself at the doctor’s rather than seeing her cry again?

I feel guilty for not calling. For not insisting she stay with me. But at least she is getting her wrist/arm sorted now, though she’ll be tired and probably scared and definitely missing gym for a few weeks.

I’ll tell you something else, though. I wish TMD had taken the camera to the hospital. Surely this is a moment that could be classed as a milestone. The cast, not the fact that I am going to have to think more carefully about trust and what it means in relation to someone responsible for my kids.

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4 Responses to “Things you SHOULD say.”

  1. beginningfromthestart Says:

    Wow, I’m so sorry… I hope Coconut feels better soon.

  2. Lauren Says:

    Oh no poor Coconut 😦
    And how awful that she had to suffer for so long.

  3. mamacrow Says:

    ((((HUGS)))) am totally with you. dosn’t sound like the right person to be looking after the (any?) kids.. just not on the right wave lengh xx

  4. catsandcradles Says:

    Poor Coconut! I hope she mends quickly.

    And I would be dubious about leaving my kids in the care of your MIL, too. Not that I would blame her necessarily for the broken wrist, since these things can happen even if you’re right there. But the response to it? Yeah, not so much okay.

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