Moving on.


I keep thinking things like, why didn’t I support TMD in a three day transfer? She could have had sedation and been relaxed, and all the embryos were better than perfect. Could have transferred two and frozen six.

We could still be trying.

Then I stop, and repeat again, what is done is done and cannot be undone. All my angry and bitter feelings towards the clinic change nothing.

In the meantime, we are going to the zoo, playing outside in the chilly sunshine, bike riding at night, going to pirate swimming pools. We are good.


8 Responses to “Moving on.”

  1. Winnie Says:


  2. Ellie Says:


  3. pajamamommas Says:

    Thinking of you guys. You made the best decisions you could at the time based on the information you had, which is all that you can do.

  4. catsandcradles Says:

    I think pajamamommas is right; you made the best choice you could with the information you had. It’s easy to think that things might have been different, but… this whole process is such a crap shoot, you know?

    Forgive my ignorance, and my impertinence in asking a somewhat personal question, but are non-ivf forms of assisted reproduction not an option? I know that say, iuis have a lower success rate for a given cycle, but they’re also generally a hell of a lot less expensive than ivf. So it’s not necessarily one chance and you’re out. I don’t mean to intrude, and feel free to tell me to back off, but I was just wondering.

    • me Says:

      They are out. TMD doesn’t have great AMH levels. They are also much less successful and actually cost the same as eggsharing!

    • me Says:

      Even if her AMH levels were great, here’s some numbers. When I got pregnant, I was given a 55 percent chance of success with ivf. With iui – and my fertility was stellar – I was given a 23 percent chance over THREE cycles. Dude.

      If I was the one getting pregnant we might consider iui, but as it isn’t me and her levels aren’t high, it’s just not for us.

      • catsandcradles Says:

        I’ve heard a lot of different statistics about success rates, honestly. The one I’ve heard most often around here is that for a well-timed iui, if your fertility is pretty good anyway, is ~20% sucess rate per cycle. For us, given that we’re using a naturopath for the actual iui procedures (and she’s a friend who helps us out), an iui costs about 1/30th of what an ivf cycle probably would. And that’s a fairly conservative estimate. I had no idea it would be so expensive for you guys. That’s probably not a great choice, then, especially if TMD’s AMH levels aren’t great.

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