Egg collection part 2, the full story.


We woke up at an ungodly hour this morning, which featured TMD needing to insert her first ass pessary. That’s always a nice way to start the day.

We left before the sun had risen, and the total lack of traffic meant we whizzed across the border and into the city. It was nice to be with her. Like a date, except less sexy and more full of worry. We were in the city about an hour early, so we walked along the mostly empty streets as the sun rose. Golden light softened the castle, which was gorgeous, and we counted an unbelievable number of coffee and shoe shops. We also went into one so that I could get what I fondly call ‘ass sick’ in the bathroom.

When we got to the clinic, I found out I was the fifth and final egg collection patient, and there were only four rooms on the surgical floor. So we sat for two and a half hours in the main waiting room, which was oddly fun as uglier and uglier flowers and furniture were being delivered. I started whispering to TMD that I could shoot a documentary there, but I think on reflection no one would want to watch it.

We were finally called upstairs at 10:30, which I thought was cutting it as the collection was scheduled for 11. We went through the normal pre surgery stuff – medical checklists, warnings about surgery, triple checking the ID card that would be used to safeguard the embryos. Then shit got real. We told the nurse we had decided to not proceed with eggsharing. She didn’t bat an eye.

I did say, but we do have the caveat that if somehow more eggs were collected than expected, we will be happy to share. She was very clear there was no way that could happen. I jokingly said, ‘You don’t know. I may be a medical marvel. You do hear about medical miracles!’ She laughed again and reiterated it would not happen. No chance. We already knew that, and were honestly expecting six eggs to be the end result.

The doctor came in and it was pressure city. She told us the fee was an extra six thousand, not the four thousand we came in expecting to pay. Apparently you get the cheaper rate if you try to eggshare and it fails. But if you withdraw, you have to pay for every single thing. The doctor just kept listing fees, and TMD was getting whiter and whiter. I asked the doctor to have someone give us a total, and also leave us alone for a few minutes so we could talk privately.

Well, as TMD pointed out, this was the stuff of medical documentaries. A very tense few minutes of pressured discussion. TMD was very, very upset about the money. You all know we just about break even every month, so spending that much money in one chunk was something we could probably never recover from. I saw her upset and this intense sense of calm came over me. TMD suggested we take the gamble – go ahead with eggsharing, especially since we thought it was very unlikely they would get the minimum of eight eggs necessary. So we would save ourselves money, but take the risk of them getting eight eggs and us therefore only having four.

And you know, I was okay with it. Our priority has to be the children, and spending that much money – Jesus. That’s a lot of living. And we do have the two perfect children for us. If this didn’t work out, I could be happy. I like our family. I’d be disappointed about not having this third child I feel is still missing, but not at the expense of the two we have. And TMD. Her face was so terrible when they kept saying more and more money we would have to pay. I couldn’t do that to her. Could not.

So we took the gamble.

This time, I was conscious throughout the collection. I did have an ass pessary for painkilling, one for antibiotics, IV painkillers, and IV sedation. That shit HURT. Hurt like woah. Let me tell you, needles are not supposed to pierce your vaginal walls. Lucky for me, the anaesthetist was amazing and supportive, and it was all fine.

The doctor is all jamming needles into my ovaries, while the embryologist (named Snort!) called out the number of eggs retrieved. Then he said, ‘Eight.’ The doctor was overjoyed and said, ‘Eight! Existere, did you hear that?’

‘Yes, eight.’ It was what we were not hoping for. At that point I thought, okay, so we will have four eggs. I still felt very calm and accepting.

The it was done and the doctor said, ‘Do you want to know how many we got? THIRTEEN.’ Everyone was whooping and so excited. I was shocked. The doctor explained that all of my small follicles, the ones that had been deemed useless, somehow all had eggs in them.

Medical miracle.

So, folks, there we are. Sitting across that bridge in an incubator we have seven little eggs that were fertilised this afternoon. Tomorrow we will get a call telling us how many actually fertilised and went on to develop. We have used ICSI, which is when a single sperm is injected directly into each egg, rather than just letting the two mix in a petri dish.

The transfer is, all things going well, on Thursday or Saturday. Sedation is not available on weekends, which TMD is terrified about, but as I said right before they started the egg collection, ‘Whatever will be, will be.’ Corny but strangely calming.

This is the outcome we wanted from the start. Enough eggs for us to have a real shot, AND enough for the recipient as well. This is the outcome we were told would not happen.

And yet somehow today, a minor medical miracle has happened, and we got a lucky thirteen eggs in this month of Halloween. Let’s hope our tide of bad luck has turned, and those little babies are doing some hardcore growth and cell division tonight. I TOLD them this was a serious business, and apparently the eggs were listening.



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13 Responses to “Egg collection part 2, the full story.”

  1. Jess Collingwood Says:

    Yeah, I just cried a lot. Ha. I’m so excited and so pleased that things are working out for you guys now! On edge to find out how the fertilization goes! πŸ™‚ Yaaayyy!!

  2. mendylady Says:

    Babydust *and* sticky vibes! Over the moon for you,truly.

    My babydust is potent stuff, specially when I’m knocked up – ask any of our mutual friends! Lawl.

  3. Liv Says:


  4. Mrs B Says:


  5. jenmum Says:

    Congratulations! So pleased for you, that’s the good luck you were waiting for finally catching up with you!

  6. Catherine Bartholomew Says:

    Wow! Amazing news! So glad it went well. xxx

  7. Ellie Says:

    Oh my what a relief! So happy for you all; so glad this hurdle is crossed. Alright eggsies: fertilize! Divide! grow Grow Grow”

  8. dora Says:

    That’s such awesome news. So happy for your family, and the recipient family. Re TMD’s nervousness about no sedation for the transfer, I’ve actually never heard of sedation for a transfer. Retrieval, yes, of course, but a transfer just feels kind of like getting a pap. Now, when the time comes, she should have whatever she wants for labor and delivery. πŸ™‚ Can’t wait to hear your fert report!

  9. Lauren Says:

    Yes! So happy for you!

  10. mamacrowm Says:

    oh HOORAH HOORAH HOORAH! I am SO Happy for y’all, not just cos you have more eggs & therefore more chances, but also that the recipient gets her eggs after all, hoorah!

    um.. 13 eggs… in the hallowe’en month… you do realise that if it’s a boy you’ll have to call it Damien now, don’t you?!

  11. makingfamilyfromlove Says:

    I’ve been thinking about yall all day! I’m so excited to read this! Congrats!!

  12. Mel Bowman Says:

    Congrats! I’m so happy for you, and for the recipient!

  13. Winnie Says:

    Congratulations!!!! ALL THE BEST WISHES ARE COMING YOUR WAY!!!

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