IVF questions from you guys!


So, I’ve had a couple of questions regarding our current IVF plans. Both require longer answers and will no doubt be talked through in full detail later, but here’s the quickie version.

How many embryos will we be transferring?

I don’t know. We want one baby this time, though of course you know The Crazy in me would love two. But one is what we are aiming for. In this country, you can transfer two embryos – though one is often recommended. In exceptional circumstances, three may be transferred.

We are not an exceptional circumstance, but we would never transfer three anyway. I guess my current thinking is that if we had an embryo of the same stellar quality of the existing Snort and Coconut, we would transfer one. If the embryos were not as high quality, I guess we’d go for two. It’s sort of a gamble either way, as I know women who had very high grade embryos and IVF did not work….while on the flip side, a set of twins we are very close to was the result of two very low grade embryos.

It’s hard, because IVF costs so much money and is so demanding on time, emotional energy, and physical bodies. It’s a lot to go through to purposely reduce your chances of success. Our last pregnancy the initial tagline could have been, ‘We’d rather have two than none,’ but alongside that was the weird expectation that we’d have twins anyway….and that is an outcome we wanted. We wanted multiples, and we were lucky enough to get them.

I hope we’re as lucky this time around, but perhaps with just one little baby who sticks, grows, thrives, and is born.

Are we using the same sperm donor?

No. We did ask the clinic if his sperm was still available, as we did not purchase ‘sibling sperm’ at the time of our first IVF. I don’t know why not. I think we were just so happy and felt blessed to have two babies growing in me that it eclipsed all other practical considerations.

We would have liked to use the same donor, but he is no longer available. That being said, our baby will be our baby. Love makes a family, and I’m sure whatever donor this third baby (and fourth?? Ha!) has will be the right donor for this time and space.

Prior to having children, I thought it mattered who the donor was. Physical characteristics, intelligence, hobbies. I thought it all mattered. Turns out that, for us anyway, it didn’t. Does not. What matters is the end product, a little person to love and nurture and be amazed by.

Do feel free to ask any other questions. I’ll try to answer them.

Hope you are all well. I’m writing this Thursday night, and as yet have not heard from the clinic. If we haven’t heard by Monday, I’ll call them again then. Our only concerns about IVF this time around are the dates -TMD can’t be officially pregnant before mid to late September for work reasons, so that means an egg collection at the end of September should be okay. (As you are technically pregnant from the date of your last cycle, so that means about two weeks where you are ‘pregnant’ even through there’s no kid in you! Fun facts.)

I’ll be publishing this Friday, which is the first day of Coconut’s new gymnastics class. She’s a short powerhouse who taught herself to do forward rolls at age 1, so I have high hopes she’ll be participating in the next Olympics, should the age requirement be lowered. I want free seats!

Love to you all.


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One Response to “IVF questions from you guys!”

  1. Lyssie Says:

    Coconut’s gymnastics class sounds like awesome fun. On the subject of IVF (and apologies if you’ve already had this question) I know you’re doing egg sharing so I just wondered how you felt knowing that there’s little mini existeres running round in someone elses’s family. Do ever think about Snort and Coconut’s half siblings and did it take a lot to distance yourself from being a biological mother to them?

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