SPD and PMDD. My two biggest pains in the ass, interlinked.

by

I think my hormones are getting back to a pre pregnancy level. Surely not, you say. That should have happened ages ago. My friends, it takes two years for your body to recover after an average singleton birth. And we all know mama didn’t have no singleton.

My SPD is pretty much cleared up. I’ve been afraid to say anything, in case I jinxed it. I genuinely did not think it would ever lessen to this degree, and I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m left with the arthritis the SPD caused, and still have some muscle/ligament problems in the pelvis, but by and large SPD flare ups have slowed. A lot.

Admittedly I’ve found a new Bowen practitioner. And I’ve also been taking evening primrose oil. So perhaps those things have helped, but I do know my hormones are shifting. Mainly because my old friend PMDD is back. Not the crazy rages of yore, but certainly the depression and despondency. Literally the day I ovulate, my mood plummets and levels out somewhere in Greyville. I also have horrendous cramps for those fourteen days, too. It. Is. Awesome.

So I guess I’m glad my body is regulating, especially considering the very nearby IVF cycle. However, it’s hard to rejoice too much when I spend half of every month in a giant, exhausted funk. It feels like I’ve traded one life ruiner for another.

I remember a time when TMD and I could predict my mood on any given day simply by where it fell in my cycle. Day 19 was a real whore, every month. And as soon as blood came? Back to normal. It caused me a lot of angst trying to define my normal, since half my time was spent feeling a way I did not want to feel. But my ex therapist always said not to shove those feelings aside. As if I could.

So I’m back to charting my moods. The most helpful thing I found in pre baby days was simply awareness. Knowing that I felt several levels below stellar simply because of fluctuating hormones.

My goal for today is to try to forgive myself for a few days of parenting that can only be classed as benign neglect. I’m taking advantage of their increasing ability to play alone or together for hours on end and dwelling in my own grey place. And despising myself for it. I aim to just relax, accept, and move on.

Here’s hoping.

Advertisements

Tags: ,

2 Responses to “SPD and PMDD. My two biggest pains in the ass, interlinked.”

  1. mamacrow Says:

    ((((HUGS))) that kinda sucks, as you said – trading one life ruiner for another 😦 I have found vit B, B6 in particular to be really helpful with hormones & low mood – everyones different of course, but might be worth a try xx

  2. Mand Says:

    I’m sure like myself you have very high standards and on those grey days you are still a great parent just not reaching those high standards we set. With a family of three, 7yrs, 2yrs & 10mths I feel my few days of pmdd really disadvage my family’s happiness, I’ve also noticed the pain of psd coming back at those times. There doesn’t seem many options in the uk? I’m going to try Theory but have to wait a few months. Have you found any solutions?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: