You know how you make that salsa and hummous jacket potato because you know your kid(s) will love it and then they don’t try it? Sometimes getting ready to leave the house is just. like. that.
During my copious months of driving lessons, I noticed little brown signs with a butterfly on them every week. Come to find out we live near what can only be described as a wonderous butterfly project/wasteland steppes of Russia. I googled it this morning and was like, ‘Butterflies! We’ll go see butterflies! Oh, how my delightful children will rapture in the flappy wing goodness.’
Except trying to get them dressed was like the worst sort of hellish torture. I managed to get Snort in some sort of pretzel hold (my legs wrapped round him while my hands frantically tried to get his shirt on), and then Coconut thought, Hmm. Snort is immobilized. This would be a GREAT time to dig my fingernails as hard as I can into his upper arms, thereby making him look like a puma has just attacked him. Hey! Don’t get angry at me! It’s his Halloween costume.
Meanwhile I’m thinking, Holy FUCK I need to blog about this. About my rage and frustration and WHY WON’T THEY JUST GET DRESSED we have MOTHERFLIPPING BUTTERFLIES to go see. And then, somehow people were dressed – though I’m just now remembering I forgot to brush their teeth – and shoes were on and people were strapped into their rear facing car seats.
And we did stuff like this:
And I watched with my heart in my throat as they navigated down a row of tiny stumps to get to a swinging bridge at the bottom of a giant dip. But my head was willing to let them try it seeing as they’d already done this:
This thing is probably about two and half stories high and STEEP. From a distance it looked harmless. But from a slightly smaller distance I saw it as the Jaws of playground slides (at least till they tried the other slide. Jesus.). But my kids were excited, one shouting ‘Slide!’ and the other ‘Whee!!!!’ And I was like, How do I do this? I can’t be at the top AND the bottom at the same time.
So I stood back and let them climb.
I then literally caught them as they flew off the bottom – and no exaggerating here, folks, but they’d land like four feet away from the end of the slide. It was like catching 35 pound rugby balls flying at 20 miles an hour. Yowsa. Eventually I stood back and let them just fly and slam into the sand at the bottom. Sure, we had the odd bumped head – but we had more giggles and little looks of big pride.
We came home and had a big ass feast of a lunch at 2 (as both had allergic reactions to shit in the cafe at the place)…..and then my big plans to go back out? We were all tired from this morning. So we hung out on my bed, watched a little Bride & Prejudice, then zoomed back into the lounge to do all the important stuff we do. Ending with a big ass table dance to number ten on our Black Eyed Peas CD.
So about ten hours ago I wanted to post about how shit it all was. About how hard it was to just get out of the damn house already.
About six hours ago I was outside and not thinking about you, blogworld. (Sorry.) But it was AWESOME. If I can handle this giant assault course of a playground on my own, not to mention the 27 acres of butterfly related stuff, I can probably handle the kids most anywhere on my own. I hope I have not jinxed myself by writing that.
At the end of the day, it was better than the beginning of the day. That’s all.