Injections, take two.

by

As you read this, I’m in the hospital again. I’m writing on Saturday night, having just discovered I can write things and schedule them to post automatically in the future. Hopefully yesterday’s ode to past loves and dead birds posted okay.

Today – Monday – is my second batch of injections. It’s fair to say the first batch have made a significant difference in my life. The doctor said success would be a 70% reduction in pain. To me, success is that even when I’ve had pain, I have been able to walk every single day since those injections. Every day.

I’ve done more than I’ve done in awhile – though I still am not in the zone of what I would consider ‘normal’ – and I’m still waking up in the morning able to stand. Able to go on daily romps in the woods with my kids. I’ve only taken codeine a handful of times, and it virtually knocks the pain out completely.

If you’ve got a chronic pain problem – or a chronic fatigue issue, a chronic anything, actually – you’ll know about the tiring relentlessness of it. It just keeps coming. And I know I would resign myself to my ‘new normal’, but then another wave of depression or fear would hit and I’d sink lower than before. I want another baby. But I think, at this point, I want to keep getting healthy more.

When I failed my driving test – ohfuckityfuckihateyoudrivingtestisurelydo – I was upset because the first thing I’d planned to do with my saved money was join Weight Watchers. So I thought, ‘Oh, fuck you, driving test. I’ll join online instead. YOU DON’T OWN ME, LEGAL INABILITY TO DRIVE A VEHICLE.’ I’ve lost eight pounds since starting. So that’s thirty-eight pounds since baby A and baby B came out….and turned into two rocking two year olds.

I’m losing weight. I’m getting injections. I’m exercising more.

I’m doing what I can to heal physically, while still trying to heal mentally and otherwise – still realising my life is forever changed by this disability. I’m unlucky I followed a hunch to cross a road and not walk to a designated crossing. Fine. I did that.

Now I’ve got to do this.  I’ve got to do what it takes to keep walking. If any of you could send me daily reminders to do Pilates, that’d be good. These injections are a stop gap. They don’t last forever. While the pain is reduced I’ve got to get those core muscles in gear so they can start doing their job. So my ligaments can heal. So my life can keep expanding.

Have a good day, anyway. I’ll be reading this in hospital, so feel free to write me nice comments, since I’ll be all trapped lying down in bed in a room with five other women who are also trapped in bed.

Yeah.

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2 Responses to “Injections, take two.”

  1. Liv Says:

    Wow – sounds like a party… Hope they’re good company! Fantastic to hear you’re getting somewhere with pain reduction at last.

    As an aside, our black beans have indeed now disappeared since moving to the ‘wholefoods’ section. Totally unrelated to this post I know, but Booooooooooooooooo.

    Hope you’re out soon and feeling even better :0)

  2. Christy Says:

    I’m so glad that the injections are helping, even if it’s not forever. I’m so impressed with your determination to get better. You are my hero.

    As for scheduling posts, this has become my saving grace. I posted everyday last week because of scheduled posts. 🙂 I’m pretty happy with myself because of it. I love scheduling posts.

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