A laugh a day keeps the grim reality of life away.

by

We get our groceries delivered every Monday night; there is no time for in store shopping, and this makes for a more pleasant stocking up experience. Plus, there are little treats.

Stickers on shit – every now and then you get melon from a different country, a different sort of pear. Oh, the unexpected joy in mundane surprises.

On Tuesday mornings our kitchen looks like a fucking fruit stall, we have so much of it delivered. This morning I was looking around, decided what to have with our breakfast, when my gaze honed in on a little ribbon tied around the plums.

‘Firm eating variety.’

You might as well have put a little ribbon on there saying, ‘Something is genetically fucked up, and these plums will never ripen and get soft.’

—-

This isn’t funny, is it. When I thought of it this morning while squeezing a plum, it almost made me laugh out loud. But then, I totally accept that I have had less sleep than you, and that even when totally caught up on sleep shit like this would still make me laugh.

As a child, the first joke I remember learning (and loving!) was: ‘What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke!’

Bet that’s got you rolling in the aisles.

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7 Responses to “A laugh a day keeps the grim reality of life away.”

  1. incurable hippie Says:

    The first joke I ever learned was:
    “What’s the difference between a man riding a horse and the dog running beside it? The man wears trousers and the dog pants”.

    I told it to *everyone*, but I didn’t get it at all!

  2. Violetsouffle Says:

    Heheheh the first joke I ever learned was a very inappropriate one that I overheard while waiting for my mom at our local community college. I told it when she had a TON of guests over one night and announced that “Mr.So and So (her instructor) wad telling this one to mommy!” my dad was already the very jealous type and it caused so much trouble plus I got my ass flames. It was a math joke, something about wanting to “add a bed, subtracting clothes, dividing legs and multiplying.”
    Trouble. That joke is trouble.

  3. Katie B. Says:

    J’s favorite dumb joke is “What’s brown and sticky? -a stick!”

  4. @TheRealErinHisc Says:

    My brother Kristin’s favorite joke when he was six was:

    Why was the belt arrested?
    Because he held up a pair of pants.

    The thing is, he had no idea what the expression “held up” even meant; but he read it in a joke book, and he knew jokes were meant to be funny, and he would explode in peals of hysterical laughter every time he heard it.

  5. Natasha Says:

    I remember the first joke I found funny, and wanted to retell to anybody who would listen, being:

    A woman finds a lamp when cleaning out her attic. She polishes it with her hankerchief and BOOM a genie appears!

    They genie says, “I can grant you 3 wishes, but whatever you wish for, your husband will have by the power of 3. Do you accept my terms?”

    The woman, shocked and elated, says, “Of course I accept your terms! This is brilliant, thank you!”

    The genie says, “Okay, your wish is my command. What is your first wish?”

    The woman wishes that she is the richest woman in the world. The Genie asks if she is sure, “I can grant your wish but your husband will be three times as rich as you.”

    “I’m sure” says the woman and BOOM her wish is granted!

    “And your next wish?” enquires the genie.

    “I wish to be the most attractive woman in the world”. The genie asks agai if she is sure, “but your husband will be three times as attractive as you and all the women will want him…”

    “That’s fine, it is my wish” says the woman.

    “Your wish is my command”, says the genie and BOOM her wish is granted.

    “And your final wish?”, asks the genie?

    “I wish for a very mild heart attack”, replies the woman.

  6. Dominic Says:

    An Aussie is in a pub in Cork and asks the bar tender the quickest way to Dublin. The bar tender asks “Are ye walking or driving?” “Driving,” replies the Aussie. The bar tender considers this for a moment and replies “Yep, that’s the quickest way.”

  7. M Says:

    Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

    answer: the rooster!

    michelle
    http://michellemazur.wordpress.com/

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