The Good:

Naptimes and bedtime have never been so easy. Yesterday morning Snort yawned once, so I started singing our ‘go to sleep’ song and the kid grinned with delight. I put him down, continued singing, and he was out like a light. This morning he went straight down, and I swear to god he was asleep in about 10 seconds flat.

I hope I am not jinxing things.

We have an interesting way to sleep that works for us – the couch. At night each baby is on either end of the couch, feet facing each other. TMD sleeps on a mat on the floor beside them. I know you’re thinking, WTF? The couch?

Hey, it works. It’s my fault as daytime naps on the couch/me are much easier on me physically than traipsing back and forth to their bedroom, and I’m still in pain a lot. Plus, I like the cuddles.

Our next step is dismantling their cots and putting their mattresses directly on the floor. I don’t know that they will go for a traditional sibling bed, but certainly can continue sleeping on separate mattresses feet to feet – or in any configuration they want. TMD will sleep with them, and we will gradually get them used to going to sleep in their own room. We’re going to get me a beanbag so I can facilitate daytime naps with minimal pain.

The bad:

Fucking SPD/PGP. I had a bad relapse last week where I couldn’t walk at all, and today any weight on my left foot is agony. It’s hard to remember that I am getting better on days like today, but when I was pregnant I do remember weeping with every step, hung over a zimmer frame.  I’m not like that.

I don’t know. It’s grey outside, my mom isn’t here, none of my close friends live in our town. I’m low, but really, I think I’m just LONELY.

I DID learn how to take the bus into town, which means maybe I can attend other playgroups, but on a day like today I can barely wipe the table clean, let alone get on public transport and make merry with other people.

The ugly:

Lack of hope.


Moving forward, though, ever forward. I am going to continue to try to take evening walks on days when I am not in too much pain (or too sad, like yesterday). Walking does help my SPD/PGP; I remember when other women would encourage me to move because it helped, and my extreme frustration at their lack of understanding that I could. not. move. Well, now I can, and I’m trying.

I’m also well back onto the weight loss horse. I haven’t been updating my weekly weigh in page on this blog (link to the top right) but have all the numbers and will do so soon. Also going to start taking ‘reverse bump shots’ – headless of course *grin* – and posting those as a way to hopefully get some encouragement and motivation from you guys! I know I loved hearing your awe at my expanding bump, so maybe I’ll get a little love at my decreasing hip size.


Love to you all. I hope whoever you are, wherever you are, you’re feeling at peace and happy.


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4 Responses to “Things.”

  1. Jess Says:

    I hate the low days. They blot out the good ones and you feel like it will always be that way.

    I hope tomorrow is brighter!


  2. bellygirls Says:

    I’m sorry to hear you are still in a lot of pain… it seems like you are determined to overcome it – I hope you feel relief soon.

    It’s a wonderful thing that you have two babies who will fall asleep so easily! It only makes the hard things more bearable. 🙂

  3. Natasha Says:

    Ohh I’m taking reverse bump shots, too! Mine are awful, but they really are good for motivation. I can’t wait to see the ‘after’ photos when Ive lost the weight! 🙂

    I, too feel lonely recently. I think it’s been worse because over the summer holidays none of the baby groups that I usually go to have been running. I miss adult interaction!

    I’d like to drive down your way some time. We could either go to a play group or just let our babies play together while we chat (there’ll be enough of them on their own between both of our brood’s!). Or we could take them to the library or the park! 🙂 Or soft play. Anna has become a real dare devel at soft play lately. It’s lovely to see because she’s usually so fragile, delicate and quiet. Last time we were at soft play she made friends with an older boy and was running around the place screaming and laughing and then she threw herself down the slid head first and backwards! It is honestly lovely to see that side of her. I think I’m growing addicted to taking her to soft play just to see her so confident and having so much raw and energetic fun!

    I’d love it when you are completely better (I don’t doubt the day will come!) if you could come to Colchester and go to the zoo with us. It’s a long hilly walk around the zoo and the children LOVE it. Colchester Zoo is the best: The enclosures are huge and the animals all look so happy. On top of that the Zoo has many conservation projects going on in the wild and runs breeding projects for endagered species, which they then release back into these conservation areas 🙂

    We all have low days. Some times I don’t even lift a finger in the house through no reason other than that I feel completely lethargic and would rather sit on the sofa playing and cuddling my girls and glancing over at my laptop for twitter and facebook updates. It makes me sound like the worst and most lazy mother on the face of the planet but the thing to remember is these are low and occasional days. I also have days where I take my children to the zoo or to soft play or to the library, and some days we’ll even do all three in one day AND I’ll do the hosuework, too! We all have different levels of energy and motivation on different days, and I actually think it is a good idea to listen to our body when it is feeling sluggish, and indulge in a lazy day or two until we regain our energy.

    Out of curiosity, have you guys got a wii? Something tells me the answer will be no but I wholeheartedly reccomend them for the weight loss / fitness thing. I weigh in daily and seeing the line on the graph going up or down in a real motivation to keep up the good work.

  4. Katie B. Says:

    I hear you on the SPD!

    Mine’s not as bad as yours was/is, but it’s enough of a challenge. It doesn’t help that those around me see that I’m in pain and want me to “take it easy”; no, really, gentle exercise and short walks are good for me! And the only exercise I’m going to get right now, which I really need! So I need them to encourage me to get out and walk a few blocks every day, not offer me rides the 5 blocks home. *sigh*

    At least E seems to be head up this morning…

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