A is not really relative to B, literally and figuratively.


We-el, my mom has gone back to Country A this morning. We’re not planning to go there again until late next summer, so it will be almost a year till I see her again. And Bear didn’t come along this time, so the next time I see him it’ll be about two years since I saw him last.

Yes, I am unutterably cool for living ‘abroad.’ Yes, you want to ask for my autograph because I have two passports and COME ON, that is awesome.

But sometimes, well, it’s crap.

The only thing Country A has going for it is my family (and more space, cheaper living, and more trees). My parents are getting older now, and the idea that I have lived on the other side of the world for ten years now is a bit sad.

Still, these clumps of time we spend together are very intense and probably full of more ‘quality’ than if she did live nearby, or that’s what I try to tell myself. After all, we shared a bed (which wasn’t as awful as I thought, once she got over her crazy ass jetlag) and without this experience, I wouldn’t have known she would want to play Nintendo DS Brain Training or Simon Says on my phone for half the night (or take three nights to watch Meet the Parents). We giggled and giggled like we were having a sleepover….which I guess we were.


Today that version of ‘home’ feels a long way away, even as I sit here in my ‘new’ home, in an expensive little flat with my three favourite people (plus one neglected cat).

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6 Responses to “A is not really relative to B, literally and figuratively.”

  1. Signalings or Symptoms And Prevention for Colon Cancer | Cancer Guide 101 Blog Says:

    […] A is not unequivocally relations to B, literally as well as figuratively … […]

  2. Natasha Says:

    I’m so sorry you are feeling down, and home sick. I can’t imagine living on the other side of the country to my mum, let alone the other side of the planet. I think you are very brave and adventurous! But I am not surprised you are feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon. Lots of love from us x

  3. catsandcradles Says:

    I know what you mean. PB and I live on the opposite side of the continent from both of our families. I love our life here; we have wonderful friends and I do love this city (more when it’s not raining constantly, but even then) and this state, and I really appreciate that our legal situation is a hell of a lot better here than it would be in either of our home states.

    That being said… I miss my family fiercely. Skype is great, but not the same. We visited both our families this summer, and knew at the time that we probably wouldn’t see them again until next spring at the earliest, and I hate that. I also HATE that PB and I can’t move back to my home state (or hers, although slightly less so there) without being totally fucked as a family, legality-wise. Sometimes I really want to point out to these “we’re just protecting the traditional family” assholes that what they are doing is ensuring that our children won’t see their grandparents or aunts, uncles, and cousins nearly as often as we saw ours when we were growing up. How’s that for family values? Not to rant all over your blog about the sorry state of legal equality in Country A, but the topic is very linked to missing my family for me.

    On a brighter note, at least for me the sadness after a visit usually fades after a couple of days, when I get back into my life as it is, and remember how much I do enjoy it in general. Hopefully it will for you too.

  4. Matt Says:

    You have a CAT?

  5. Megs Says:

    Just came back from Country A (btw are we still pretending this is a secret code?) two weeks ago, was there for a wedding so we got some intense family time as well. And it was really, really nice. Left me feeling the same way you described above. I’ve been here 5 years and much to my dismay, it doesnt get easier as time goes by. The problem is, after a few days back in Country B, the feeling went away and I felt OK again. But I know thats just a case of outta sight, outta mind. I do love it here, but there is a true sadness to being an ocean away from your family that sometimes it just easier to forget. 😦

  6. Amanda Says:

    First of all, more trees? I must come from a toootaallly different place in Country A! 😛

    My family are all I have going for me in my “home country” as well. I have no desire to ever go back there at the moment. I do really miss them though. So much. My brother is just starting to drive and go to college and I feel sad that I missed his high school graduation. My Grandma is in a care home and dying and I feel so guilty and heartbroken that I can’t say goodbye to her. It’s so tough being away from everything I grew up with and all my family. The most difficult times are the holidays. (especially Halloween because omg how much does it suck over here!!)

    But I still really believe the positives of living in my new country outweigh the negatives.

    I’m glad to hear you had a lovely time with your Mom. ❤

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