Moments like these.

by

A snapshot: one tiny boy rolls off his bouncy chair and palumphs onto the floor, cuddling his blanky and still sleeping. He pushes up on an elbow after a bit, turns to look at me, and chatters. Another tiny child, this one a girl, immediately wakes and searches out her brother. Grinning, I plop her in his chair.

He crawls over, pulls up on my knee, puts his head on my leg. I scoop him up and he curls, froglike, on my belly. Surprised, I kissed him. These moments of holding him are getting more rare, and all the more precious for it. He sleeps instantly, curled on the left side of my belly – just as when he was in my belly.

His sister frowns. She looks at him, at me, at the couch. She tries again and again to get on the couch, till I take pity on her and lift her next to us. She smiles at her brother, radiance shining out of her little body – that only minutes before had been so sad because she was on the ground and we were on the big, red couch.

She reaches for him, and I laugh as I pull her arm back. She smiles and reaches again, her fingers tracing his lips…and one little finger poking into his nose.

‘Stop!’ I whisper. ‘You funny girl, he’s sleeping.’

She gives me a look and yanks her arm away from my restraints. And the feeling communicated to me is clearly, ‘He is MY TWIN. I can do what I like, he belongs to me and I belong to him.’ This hit me in a wave, this specialness they share, and I realise that as a mother there are some things only my children will know about.

And so I let her. She leans forward and kisses him, and my arms encircle these two precious babies on the cusp of something foreign, something grown up, something where this gentle love and togetherness may begin to exclude me. They may not be strictly ‘babies’ anymore, though I think of them as such, but they certainly are not toddlers.

They are eleven months old, they belong to each other, and they are gracious enough to always, always make space for me.

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3 Responses to “Moments like these.”

  1. Jenni Williams Says:

    So sweet. You ALMOST make me think I want twins. lol.

  2. Sarah Says:

    Awwww, you are making me want twins!

  3. Darlene Says:

    That was beautifully written.

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