Bathtime/bedtime conversations.


People in Country B spend a lot of time lying to people. But it’s classy lying, done in fun. For instance, TMD once told CurlyGirl that there were no elevators in Country B. These lie-stories are told for sport. Before I got wise to the fact that the rest of my life would be spent being made a fool of by my wife (or, indeed, learning to make a fool out of her – remind me to tell you about the soapnuts), she told me that ‘knock on wood’ was originally ‘touch the tooth.’ You know, that people had rotten teeth replaced by wooden pegs, and would touch them for luck.

Me: I don’t know why she’s crying. She’s not hungry. I think she’s tired.

TMD: And that crazy tooth is about to come through.

Me: I guess it does sound like an angry pain cry. I tell you, that tooth has been on the edge so long that when it comes through it had better be magic.

TMD: It could b-

Me: Or her gums are made of old leather.

TMD: It could be the original incarnation of ‘touch the tooth.’

Me: A wooden tooth, yes, that would be hard to come through.

Cue more angry crying. I walk into the lounge.

Me: You know what would be gross?? If all their teeth in the front were rainbow. Like one red, one orange, etc.

TMD: Ugh. Or maybe they are like Indigo Children –

Me: Hey, I was just gonna say that!

TMD: and their teeth are crystals. Rainbow crystals.

Me: Stunned silence.

TMD: Or what about gemstones?? ‘This tooth is rose quartz, it’s a sign of her creativity.’ That’s so gross. I’d rather they have rainbow crystal teeth.

Me: I need to write this down in my blog.

Me: Type type type.

TMD: Hey, today my hands started bleeding. Out of nowhere – it was like fucking stigmata.

Me: ….


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One Response to “Bathtime/bedtime conversations.”

  1. Matt Says:


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