I never lie on my blog. (Or: An excerpt from my new book, 293 fast & easy ways to mess your kids up for life!)


We had black bean quesadillas for lunch.

Snort just pooped and his poop had visible beans – a usual sight round these here parts. The amazing part is that his poop smelled JUST like the quesadillas.

I was actually attracted to it. I floated up out of my body and watched as I wiped his butt, sniffing deeply, and said, ‘Mmmm….I could wipe this right off here, honey, and put it on a tortilla and eat it right up! Yum yum!’


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