Snort at 9 months….or 3 years?


Snort may be the world’s first nine month old toddler. He thinks nothing of pulling himself along to a toy tote (we’ve got brightly coloured plastic basket thingies sprinkled around, all filled with toys) and dumping the fucker over. Both him and Coconut are happy to go help themselves to whatever toys catch their fancy from the totes, but thanks to his new party trick, we end up with a carpeting made of toys.

Add this to his love of the kitchen.

I was holding Coconut late yesterday afternoon who was, mercifully, sleeping (think some more teething is happening up in heah). I hear this banging noise and look up. Where is Snort? I’m looking first at the electrical equipment, since that is a SHARED party trick they have, then by the patio window (oh, because he almost LET HIMSELF OUTSIDE yesterday). No, no.

I stand up and look in the kitchen. There he is, chewing on the cat’s water bowl, lying in a giant ass puddle of dirty cat water. He grins at me, waves the bowl around, and then begins pushing it around on the floor like it’s a car. He is slapping at the puddle of water, no biggie, mama, why does your face look all manic and crazy?? Life is cool, mama, cool. Look! I got this awesome ceramic bowl filled with cat hairs!


Yesterday he also fell asleep underneath a bouncy chair. Sleeping while clutching the metal leg of the chair, sucking his shirt as per usual,  his body twisted in an unnatural way. This allowed him to wake up refreshed and work his way over to the folded up playmet we have guarding some power points (white trash babyproofing), pull the playmat over to a pile of toys, roll over to the other playmat and dismantle it, and then find the last remaining toy tote and tip it out.

Right now he’s chewing on the sunblock tube. And I’m going to let him while I finish this.

Because diaper changes??? HOLY SHIT. He is wrestling and flipping over and apparently very anti-nappy. The sort of genuine struggle it takes to get him back into his nappy is something I would expect from a cranky two year old, not a tiny little baby. Except, of course, I suppose neither of them are that tiny anymore.


Okay. In the thirty seconds it took for me to type that paragraph, he found one of the arches for the bouncy chairs (I don’t even know where this thing was) and dragged it over to Coconut. She is now lying on her back, playing with this giant thing which is not a floor toy, while he chews a shape from our Friendly Shape Turtle and watches her in satisfaction.

I’m telling you.



5 Responses to “Snort at 9 months….or 3 years?”

  1. saralema Says:

    Sweet jebbies, I dreaded diaper changes starting at about 9 months. MP’s impression of a convenience store hot dog waiting to be purchased was the most stressful moments of my day. Diaper changes were pure hell for about a month and then slowly got better, so hang in there!

  2. Andrea Says:

    Love this post! I’m the mother of a 8 month old and a 3 year old. I would like to grow an extra set of arms for diaper changes.

  3. Luschka Says:

    Lol – this made me laugh, in a slightly panicked way… I have all this to look forward to!

  4. Lara Says:

    Seriously. What is UP with the diaper change fights? I’m a few months in on them now and I AM NOT IMPRESSED!
    My house is in shambles with twin 1 year olds. My 3yo was too easy and did not prepare me for this chaos! 😉

  5. alissa Says:

    you just described my 8 month old. and ohhhh the diaper changes. they blow.

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