Flow of thoughts, no flow of poo.

by

The babies turned nine months yesterday. Yes, you read that correctly: nine. As in, three months away from being one. YIKES.

I would love to wax poetic and include videos and pictures, and I’m sure that post is coming, but let’s keep it real. What is on my mind? POOP. Codeine makes it so hard to poop. Just after the c section I had to take this syrupy stuff to help my pooper function, and I should have requested more of it.

I just managed a tortuous time getting out some tiny dried nuggets. What I REALLY need is an unlimited amount of time to sit on the toilet, flipping through embarrassing catalogues (featuring lion t shirts, mugs that say obnoxious things, and 12 inch statues of women in weird positions). However, there is no time to relax with your bum in this place. Not when you’ve got two little ones ….uh, as it turns out, behaving perfectly and entertaining themselves while I blog. I suppose I could have eeked out another minute or two on the pooper, huh.

Hindsight.

HINDsight…poop….ha.

The other thing not directly related to poop, but related to places to put your butt? I have bought us two Handysitts – the ultimate baby led weaning accessory. They are little seats for 6 months – 4 years that fit on your regular dining chairs, so everyone can sit around the table together. No doubt I ruined some people’s lives on eBay.

I mean, the person who lost the first beech wood/black cushion to me was cursing themselves, but then they probably assumed they would win last night’s matching one, because why would they ever assume a crazed mother of twins was bidding?

So we’ve got two of these badboys on their way to us – and combined (including postage) the two cost less than ONE of these fuckers new. I’m sorry, but why would you ever buy anything new? Specifically, anything that is destined for babies?

We should be getting the new handysitts in the next week, and we need to get a big ass plastic tablecloth for the floor and for the table. Then I’ll come along here and tell you all how you need to buy yourself a handysitt if you’ve got a kid who feeds him or herself. I hope.

All I know is that the Bumbos are fine and dandy, but the whole process of feeding is a bit of a bitch and picnic time on the floor is coming to a close. Perhaps I will write down the way we roll in this house, but suffice to say my number one tip for you bumbo people? (Or perhaps one baby in a highchair people?)

A SHEET ON THE FLOOR.

Yes. We have two bedsheets. We spread one on the area we’ll be eating on. When food time is done, it’s easy to shake off the crumbs and then pop the whole thing in the washing machine. Much better than trying to wipe hunks of food off plastic. You know, like the plastic we are planning to get now – though the babies make less of a mess now than they did at 6 months, that is for sure. And if a prime piece of food is dropped or falls, I’m happy giving it back to them as it’s landed on a freshly washed sheet.

Other news? The poop has crawled back into my system and is fooling my butt into thinking it no longer has to poop.

Phone ringing – I’ve got to go. You are spared reading more of this.

Advertisements

Tags: , ,

3 Responses to “Flow of thoughts, no flow of poo.”

  1. P.S. House Says:

    lol….dont know where to start. been there, done that might suffice. And also I read “A SHEET ON THE FLOOR” as A SH*T ON THE FLOOR.

  2. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    baaaaaaaaaahahahahaahahaha…. I feel your pain on the poo thing… and I’m not taking codeine… as a point of fact I cannot take codeine… EVER… my body rejects it- violently… I look at it as being spared the loverly situation of being constipated… it’s a sad sad day when you sit on the pot for 1/2 an hour crying “please let me pooooooooooooooooooooo!!!”

    the handysitts sound awesome- I’ve never heard of them before… might have to look them up though! 😛

  3. boo Says:

    the handy sits sound good! we have solved the food on the floor thing by having a dog ( well, we had the dog befoer, to be honest). she’s never been happier now she is actually allowed to hoover crumbs and things that she won’t eat if given, ie cucumber, she’ll happily eat from the floor.
    sympathy about the codiene thing. may i suggest glyerine suppositories – they work a treat, cause much hilarity inserting them, have no systemic effects and you can call them magic arse bullets. could a girl ask for more?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: