After years of training to be a counsellor, I step out of the job market. I AM A BABYBABYMAMA.

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I know I need to tell my job I’m not coming back, but I am so reluctant to do so. I know it’s not just about the whole ‘pain’ thing, as even if I was running marathons daily and baking wholesome treats on the side, I would still be dragging my feet (in a peppy sort of way) to tell them this ride is over.

I think it’s because right now I can pretend I’m still a counsellor at the best charity in the world. Oh, yes, I am still doing family therapy, couples counselling, one to one, play therapy. Oh yes, look at my active caseload. I get to glue shit to sticks and play make believe and get paid for it. My goodness, aren’t I just a high flying star on her way to the wonders of therapyland?

Of course I would rather stay home. Like, times a million. I guess I am just having trouble breaking up with work, which is a joke since in the two years I’ve been employed this June, I will have had a year of maternity leave, five weeks of leave over the accident, weeks of leave over morning sickness, a week off for fake appendicitis, and on and on and on. I AM A STELLER EMPLOYEE. The joke being that at my last job, the one I didn’t like, I was never fucking sick. Ah, pregnancy totally fucked over my current job, it did, it did.

I think I already have the panic flutters over having to haul my ass back into the working world in a few years. I told TMD I want to be a stay at home mom even once they are in school. She laughed at me.

Not having the internet for those couple of days last week really helped my little romance novel grow. Because when I have the internet, I have an inability to not take advantage of that*. Hell, I’m looking up Cookie Monster hoodies on eBay, I’m reading trashy mean forum threads about politics, I am finding new and annoying Facebook games to play, I am wishing I had The Sims installed on this laptop. ALL DANGEROUS THINGS.

I was just going to say I would stay off the internet today, but then I realised what a dumb thing that would be to do or say. Why, there are So Many Interesting Things on the internet, but I know one thing there is not…..an email to my boss saying I need to have a chat with her. Ha. I did have a dream about her last night, so no doubt The Talk (TM) is coming.

*This is like a double negative situation, and upon rereading I had to read this sentence a few times to make sure it said what I wanted it to. Even now, I’m not sure it does. Blame it on the codeine, yeah, yeah….

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4 Responses to “After years of training to be a counsellor, I step out of the job market. I AM A BABYBABYMAMA.”

  1. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    That totally reminds me that I really need to find my Sims disc so I can actually PLAY the game instead of just staring longingly at the icon on my desktop when I run out of wrong people on the internets… there are a LOT of wrong people on the internets!! But unfortunately there are only so many wrong (read: stupid) people I can “yell” at in one day… and so I really need my Sims back…

    Don’t blame you for the work thing- I’d be broken hearted to have to leave such beautiful, sweet babies for work too… Power to the babybabymama!! Good luck with informing the boss- I’m sure everything will work out just fine!! And if it makes you feel better- you could always just refer to yourself as a RETIRED counselor!! 😛 Or a freelance counselor!! lol

  2. apieceofwood Says:

    Ahhhhh, but you are carrying out the most important job in the world now!

    Paid employment?? Pah, so yesterday!

  3. Sarah Says:

    I totally understand what you are saying! It’s a huge leap. I still have my safety net of an additional year off, but I’m not really sure I want to go back so I plan to job share until MP (and possible siblings) enters school. The only thing that really is keeping me from not outright quitting is that I could take MP into the school system, which is better than my local district, with me when she enters school. The fear Steve has, and I too have it, is finding another teaching position in a few years. Our state’s available teaching jobs cup doesn’t exactly runneth over.

    I’ve come to the conclusion, at least for me, there is a bit of guilt whether I work or stay at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love being home with MP and don’t regret it a moment. But, there is a tiny bit of me that feels like I’m supposed to be working and somehow I’m not doing enough (ha! ha!). Is this based on what I see in the media and societal pressure or is it the result of the ‘mommy wars?’ Whichever, I know that if I did work, my guilt would be far greater.

  4. catsandcradles Says:

    It’s a difficult question, and one with (in my opinion) no absolute right or wrong answer. But I think enjoying your babies now sounds like a good call.

    Also, reading this made me go play another round of Treasure Isle. Just so you know.

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