Just me, chatting at you.


I’m here, I’m here. Haven’t had time to upload the video where I teach Coconut ‘the plan laugh’ (aka MWAHHAHAHAHAHA), but it is super delicious funky good amazing. You will like it when you see it.

Things going okay here on day two with Mil. The babies are shining stars, but their schedules are all haywire from the changes. Mil’s sister has been over today and it’s been fun, but I’ve spent most of the time on the floor and my pain levels are through the fucking roof! Or should I say, sunk through the bottom of the floor, one level closer to hell. Good thing I don’t believe in a literal hell, hey?

Both babies are now champion sitters. Coconut sat for like 40 minutes this morning, no problems. And Snort has now caught up with her in the standing stakes. All very exciting stuff.

Aw. Just looked at them. Both of them made their way over to me from the other end of the room, to say hi, and as I looked he grabbed her head and gave her kisses. I am perpetually amazed at the level of love these two are already showing each other. It is a great, grand, glorious blessing. Twins fucking RAWK, yo.

I’ve been rereading my entire pregnancy in this blog, and have been interested to see that my ‘back clicking in and out’ nonsense started before 12 weeks. I didn’t realise it was that early. I also forgot about the near constant vomiting and weight loss. Ah, every second of it was worthwhile. But I admit, while I’ve been reading this, I’ve been wondering why the fuck I would ever want to be pregnant again.

I think I did hit a glory phrase at about 18 weeks – no more puking, sunny happy attitude – and then I ended up confined to home due to pain. So I had about a week that was AWESOME. Whenever I wonder why I would consider pregnancy again, I look down and see these niblets at my feet and I remember.

That being said, I have a long way to go physically before I could even begin to consider another pregnancy – probably a singleton pregnancy this time. I get all worked up and worried when I think about the sheer amount of work it is – my fear of doing all the IVF and then not ending up with a baby. In reality, I am beyond lucky that I ended up pregnant with these two on the first cycle we ever tried to conceive on. I do not envy the women who try and try and try – and I hope this paragraph has not hurt any of you.

I want some people to be pregnant or to have a successful adoption so much it almost feels like when I was trying to get pregnant again.

I also thought that the blogs I read while pregnant have been my mother’s group. Like Tatiana. We were pregnant and blogging at the same time, and now I feel like I have a connection to her little girl. Funny, isn’t it. A world away, and I feel that that gorgeous little girl is my niece and we should be hanging out every day! And Christy feels like someone I DO hang out with every day – though I suppose I do via the wonders of twitter. Ain’t the internet grand?

That being said, there is something to be said for real life people. Funny, though, how the people I wish were my ‘real life’ hanger outers are people I have met online. It’s like I’m in university again.

Anyway, I am going to soak up this hour of sitting on the couch because as soon as Mil and her sis get back, I will probably be relocated to the floor. *sigh*

This time feels so different. I Am A Mother. Last time Mil was here, obviously I was a mum, but didn’t necessarily feel like it. I didn’t know what to do, when to do it, or how to do it. Now I’m like, stop waving that shit in his face – he’s trying to sleep! And also, just give her to me, dude, she needs to eat.

No bad violations yet. Mil has moved the babies away from the kitchen table chairs – fine, I can see why that might make someone nervous. She also made a comment about Snort playing with my Crocs – again, I can see the logic behind that. The only thing that has happened that worried me was today when Coco was gagging on a big ass piece of pear, she hunkered down and banged on her back – I think this was only because her sister was here and a few minutes earlier when Snort was gagging, the sister put on a baby voice aand said, ‘Please, mummy, do something! Why are you letting me choke? Hit me on the back.’

It didn’t seem to matter that I explained no choking was happening, just food on their tongues triggering their gag reflexes. And LEAVE THEM ALONE THEY CAN HANDLE THIS. Ha, a far cry from when their initial gagging terrified me so badly I stopped feeding them solids for two days. Now I’m like, dude, you’re fine. Spit it up or swallow it: these are your options. I certainly never bang on their fucking backs.

The sister also asked how tall ‘daddy’ was after saying Coco was short. I had no clue who she meant by ‘daddy’, until I realised she meant the sperm donor. Ugh. This comment was borne out of ignorance and curiousity, but why the fuck would some guy (admittedly generous guy who shared his sperm with us) we have never met be entitled to be called ‘daddy’? Awkward and also – WHAT THE FUCK, YO.


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5 Responses to “Just me, chatting at you.”

  1. Tatiana Says:

    At our Red Cross Canada baby & child CPR/AED certification course, they said DO NOT pound a baby (or anyone) on the back while they’re coughing and gagging to try and get something out of their throat. As long as the baby is actively breathing, coughing, gagging etc to try and dislodge the object, there’s no need to interfere. I’m sure you know that, but your MIL & aunt-il obviously don’t, so you should give them a lecture!

  2. Della Says:

    Coming from the wife of someone who is adopted and doesn’t have that information available (KIND OF…. i could email his birth mom right this second and ask but I try to respect that he forgot his birth father’s name immediately after learning it and doesn’t want to ask again)… I hope that you do at least have that information [height, weight, hair color, etc] – most ESPECIALLY the medical history.

    When I fill out forms about the kids “does your mother/father have any family history of…” and can’t answer it, that’s tough.

    Having said that, WTF, seriously? DADDY? I think she made me throw up a little.

  3. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    um… just how dumb is that woman?? she DOES realize that pounding on the baby’s back can actually just lodge the food in WORSE if they are actually choking right??

    *sigh* dumb family members… can’t live with em- but it’s illegal to shoot them!! Although I’m sure you could plead temporary insanity for the “daddy” comment… oh holy hell that’s rough!!

    Oh- The BFAR book you recommended FINALLY arrived and I devoured it in two days- really good info that I didn’t know! Thank you ever so much for recommending it to me!! 😛

    Good luck with the inlaws!!

  4. catsandcradles Says:

    Oy. Daddy? Um, no. I could, I think, tolerate “father”, although I would probably correct the person to “donor”. But not “daddy”.

    Sorry you’re in pain, too, although hopefully having MIL will mainly make things easier. Hopefully.

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