Parenting: How we roll.

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So, some thoughts on how and why we do certain things. You know, our ‘parenting approach.’ I’m going to stay away from wider labels, as I don’t know how helpful they are in the day-to-day of our lives. My choices are not picking on your choices, should they not happen to match. I know there are gazillions of ways to parent, and only on a selective few topics do I really believe that the way we do things is a way other people should try. Most of the stuff is down to each of us as individuals, and I’m not about to shit on your parenting parade.

Circumcision – This is a huge NO for us. We would not consider circumcising Snort; luckily we live in a country where it’s the norm to leave baby boys and their pee-pees alone, but we would have taken this decision regardless. I view circumcision as a violation of another person’s body. He might be a baby, but he does have his own personhood and I’m not about to make irreversible choices that are largely cosmestic.

This seems linked with my idea about babies who are born intersexed – that is, with both male and female genitals. I have known several adults who had their parents make a choice for them when they were days or hours old, and I have never known an adult who was pleased their parents did this.

Sleeping arrangements – Our bed is not big enough for cosleeping, and I don’t know how open we would have been to it in the first place. That being said, when the babies were little that IS what we did – albeit falling asleep while feeding twins in the middle of the night probably isn’t to be encouraged, but we woke up plenty of times with snug little babies in bed. Mainly, though, the babies coslept with each other.

Snort and Coconut shared a crib until they were six months old. This crib was in our room, pulled up next to our bed. The side facing us was lowered, with only about 8 inches of bars above the mattress. By the time they were four and five months old, it took some creative arranging to keep them sharing. By six months, it was a problem. Our room does not have space for two cribs, so they moved into the second bedroom then.

It wasn’t really that bad of a transition, though I think Snort had a couple of wee problems at the beginning. (Coconut sleeps like a brick shithouse.) The past couple of weeks Snort and sleeping have gotten all jacked up, and it is getting to be a ritual to let him in our bed at about 5 am, and occasionally Coconut instead or as well. It’s nice.

Getting babies to sleep – We are not fans of crying it out. I do know many parents do this for valid reasons, but the ones who do it because they want their six week old to go to sleep on their own so they can have a life of their own? Uh, no. I do judge.

Our babies go to sleep between 7-8 every night, sometimes a wee bit later. They fall asleep with us in the lounge – in their bouncy chairs, on our laps, or while being worn in a sling. Once they are asleep, we pop them into their cribs and that is that.Should they wake up in the night – though this is rare – we go to them and cuddle them.

Routine – Apparently I’m a fucked up twin mom, because we do not do routine. I know around 6 weeks I felt desperate and like I should try some routine and began reading lots of scary books. Plus, every book on twin parenting was all about slamming them onto a schedule as quickly as possible.

That’s not how I roll.

As the babies have gotten older, their body rhythms have set a certain natural schedule that doesn’t changeΒ  much day to day. Wake up, play, milk feed, nap. Wake up, solid feed, play, usually nap, milk feed. Play, nap, maybe another solid feed. Milk feed, play, then down for the night. Their fourth milk feed happens around 10 or 11, Coconut sleeps through this, Snort wakes up but barely.

Vaccinations – We vaccinate. For us, it makes sense. That being said, we started them a bit late and have had them quite spread out. In our country, you cannot be selective about what jabs you want or not – they are often all mixed in one vial. Our solution to make us feel better is to have two month gaps between each set, which is why they fairly recently finished the course that ‘should’ be finished at four months.

Babywearing – Obviously, we babywear. Not to the point of obsession, but when it is useful. When they were little, ‘useful’ meant the early evening when they went apeshit for no apparent reason. Now, ‘useful’ means out in public rather than a stroller (my body permitting), in the house for naps sometimes, when they are sick and want cuddles, etc.

Feeding (solids) – We do Baby Led Weaning and I have NO hesitations about recommending this as a great option for anyone with a baby six months plus. Though I encourage education – it’s not just about skipping purees, it’s about your babies having choices that are respected. Gill Rapley’s book is excellent.

We chose this as we want our children to know about the real tastes and textures of food from the start. The side benefit is increased development of fine motor skills and problem solving skills. We also want them to develop healthy relationships with food and trust themselves.

We have never given a puree or spoonfed, with the exception of the babies spoonfeeding themselves yogurt or oatmeal. (And indeed, I think me spoonfeeding two babies would be a fucking nightmare.)

TMD and I are vegetarians and have no problem with either/both babies eating meat if they want, but thus far they’ve had a vegetarian (and largely vegan) diet. This is because touching meat would make TMD throw up, and because while I probably could cook it without gagging too much, I would also likely poison the babies as I do not know how to cook meat.

Milk feeds – Our milk is powdered and comes in a can, served up in a bottle. I have written about my struggles to breastfeed in this blog, but probably nothing near the truth of what it was like. I loved breastfeeding; I never had a sore nipple or anything but pleasure. That being said, it did not work. If you want to know more about why, please read this. I was tempted to cross post it here and still may do, but in the meantime click the link.

That being said, we bottlefeed in a way that mimics breastfeeding. I usually only feed one baby at a time. I always hold them. I have never prop fed. I allow them to feed on demand, and in some ways they are living a singleton type life in terms of not being pounded into tandem feeds of proscribed amounts of milk. They drink as much or as little as they choose, when they choose. This is roughly every four hours, but as they eat more, this stretches out.

Rather than dropping milk feeds (which we don’t want them to do at this young age!!) they simply spread them out. Smart. See, you can trust babies to sort themselves out in terms of food…

(though when they were newborn and there were big problems with weight and dehydration due to the aforementioned breastfeeding issues, we were on a strict schedule of needing them to eat every three hours maximum)

Education – I am fascinated by unschooling, but for TMD it is an absolute no. This is fine by me. When it is time, our kids will attend a local school – preferably one with no ties to any religion. Not that we are so attached to Buddhism that our kids can’t experience other sorts, but more than Christian values (please, I do notΒ  mean to offend) can be intolerant, and we don’t want that for our children. You know, and their two mums.

Natural parenting – we do it. I’m not saying I am 100% clear on what that means, but for us it means trying to have a more holistic approach to things. We don’t really give medicine (though would, of course, if it were needed), and would prefer to try other stuff than dosing them up. For example: teething necklaces made from baltic amber. Say what you will, but when our kids wore them every day (there is a cumulative effect, apparently, it’s not a as-and-when type thing) they were happy. Coco’s is now missing and presumably covered in rotting yogurt, and since not using them we have red cheeks, red bottoms, more crying.

I am really a total fucking skeptic, but a total fucking skeptic who wants to believe, you know? And I would rather try to avoid seeing ignoring your baby in an outward facing stroller, spoonfeeding nightmares, and giving them baby aspirin for every little thing as the norm.

Diapers – we use disposables.Β  There was every plan to use cloth nappies if we were only having one baby, but along came two. We live in a climate where you can’t hang things out to dry, where it is rare to own a dryer anyway, and where we had limited floor space to air dry in the house. When they were newborn, we did three loads of laundry a day to keep up with things – cloth nappies would have been a giant, horrid nightmare. Now that diapering is changing, I am starting to consider making the switch. We’ll see. That being said, I feel little guilt (please don’t stone me) about using disposables because we are actually very very super green in all other aspects of our life.

How I am with them, in general – they make me laugh. I have never gotten angry with either of them. I am quite silly and, uh, unrestrained in my fucking weirdness – but much like people in the real world, it seems to make the babies like me more. I talk to them a lot, I make up inappropriate rap songs, etc etc. I kiss them roughly twenty million times a day, each.

I am also a worrier. I have nightmares of them stopping breathing. I try to be super relaxed about health issues, because really they are super duper healthy, but sometimes reading the blogs of less fortunate babies (and parents) terrifies me to my core.

Twin things – We started a chart in hospital to help with breastfeeding. This is a piece of paper on a clipboard, with a watch on it. We are still keeping track of every poop, every feed, and solid foods – along with notes of reactions they may have. This chart also keeps track of their meds. With two babies, it can be difficult to remember who did what when, and sometimes that is important to know.

People say I am super organized when they come over, even before they see the chart, but really – as a parent of twins, you just have to have these little extra ways to help sort things out. It’s not that I am organized or anal, it is that I have two babies.

Sticky hands – Sticky hands have always made me feel ill. I hate when my hands are el grosso. That being said, 20 minutes ago I thought nothing of sliding my thumbs along the very oozy and goopy passionfruit halves to help loosen the stuff along the bottom for the babies. BLW is making me enjoy and appreciate mess, and that is just about miraculous.

There. Did I hit everything up? How many of you did I alienate?

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11 Responses to “Parenting: How we roll.”

  1. Diane Says:

    I certainly hope this doesn’t alienate anyone! It all seems reasonable and thoughtful to me. My answers would be —

    Circumcision – Definite no. Though I have two girls, it will be no should we ever have a boy.

    Sleeping – We co-sleep. My oldest, until she was about 18 months old. Youngest is 16 months and going strong. This wasn’t ever our plan from the start (says the beautiful crib that has NEVER BEEN USED), but it just ended up working.

    Getting them to sleep – Oldest was rocked to sleep (wouldn’t nurse down), but youngest nurses to sleep for nap and bedtime. Not opposed to CIO if it works for someone (goodness knows I’ve let them fuss it out in the swing at times), but it was never an option for my reflux babies.

    Routine – We have one, but it’s one they fell into naturally. We didn’t with my first until she was around 2. Thankfully, baby sister fell into line with that as well. They wake up around 7:30, we do lunch at 11, down for naps at noon. Depending on when they get up from nap, we adjust bed time between 7 and 8 or so. It works for them, so that works for me.

    Vaccinations – Yes yes yes. We do them, on schedule.Our doc never gives more than 2-3 at a time, always at least 2 months apart (usually more), so I didn’t bother to delay.

    Babywearing – I used a sling in the early days, and we have a Beco Butterfly carrier that we still use (that she LOVES.) It’s a great way to get to take a brief nap if we’re out and about. We also use strollers. I think both have their purpose, especially in the heat of Florida where babywearing outdoors just isn’t always an option (even in a lightweight wrap.)

    Feeding (Solids) – We did a bit of spoon-feeding. Roo had no interest in food until … well, I guess 14 months or so. Now she just eats what we eat.

    Feeding (Milk) – Breastfeeding. It fortunately worked for us. The biggest obstacle was that Vio had terrible, terrible reflux, and I had to switch to pumping at around 4 months, which I kept up until she was a year old. Roo is still nursing a bazillion times a day.

    Education – Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it. Most likely it will just be public school, but I’m displeased with how things in this state are being run, so we’ll see. Vio starts pre-K in the fall. How do these things happen so fast??

    Natural parenting – I’m not entirely sure what this one involves. We do give Tylenol/Motrin for teething (usually they only need it overnight the day the tooth actually cuts) and fevers and whatnot. We’ve only had one run of antibiotics between the two of them. Vio was on daily medication for her reflux (first Zantac, then Prevacid.) Thank goodness for those, because until she went on them, she threw up constantly and wasn’t gaining weight. When Roo showed signs of reflux, I researched and found that probiotics might be a good solution. And they were! Expensive, but they got the job done. So I guess I’d say I’m as natural as the situation allows?

    Diapers – We do cloth. Again, lucky enough to have both plenty of sunshine for drying and a clothes dryer for the rainy/mucky days. That being said, we didn’t make the switch until Vio was around 20 months old, so it’s never too late to start.

    How I am with them, in general – Not really sure how to answer this one either. I’m more on the silly side myself, but as they get older, it’s much easier to find myself frustrated with them. Especially a defiant three-year-old. Sigh. Always room for improvement, right?

    Gosh, I feel like I hijacked your whole blog, here. I didn’t realize how many things YOU had talked about until I tried to cover them all. Interested to see what others have to say!

  2. saralema Says:

    “Shit on your parenting parade” is now my favorite phrase! It perfectly sums up how some react when you talk to them about certain parenting choices, no matter what the age of the parent(ie grandparents). I think some of it boils down to an intense fear of doing the wrong thing, at least that is the case for me when I find myself start being all Judgey McJudgerson. Thankfully, my rational brain talks me down off that ledge.

    • saralema Says:

      Coming back because I had a thought on the diapers. If you decide to go cloth, check out flats. They require a bit more folding and aren’t as fancy as all-in-ones, but they are easy to wash and quick to air dry. They seem to be a favorite of moms on my cloth diaper boards that don’t have access to laundry facilities because of this.

      And if you don’t- that’s a-okay too!:)

  3. Henrysmum Says:

    Really interesting to hear about the choices you’ve made. A lot of them are similar to my own. There’s a core ethic of being gentle, natural and as green as possible as well as not making things harder than they need to be. Then I think we all pick and choose what suits us and what works for our family from all the possible gentle, natural and green parenting methods available.

    I didn’t even consider my views on circumcision – in the UK it’s simply not something that happens unless you come from a particularly pro-circumcision religious background. If it was something I had to make a choice about though it would be not to circumcise either a male or female baby. It is unnecessary mutilation in both sexes and I can’t really see why you would do it at all – unless you felt some compelling devotion to a God that demanded it.

    And vaccinations hadn’t really crossed my mind either. I do vaccinate Henry – there is no denying that deaths from childhood diseases like Measles have greatly reduced since vaccinations have been given. I think people who don’t vaccinate are often naive to the dangers of the diseases they protect against. We have become complacent about the effect of these diseases precisely because the vaccination programmes have been so successful – culturally we have forgotten that these diseases *kill*.

    However, I do wonder about the effect of giving multiple vaccinations at once and would prefer to avoid the cocktail of injections that baby has to endure at such young ages.

  4. Katie Says:

    Thanks for sharing! I love hearing what others do. Bottom line is that we all want what’s best for our children and what works for our family. I breastfed but use disposable diapers (though I wish I could have breastfed longer…but that’s a WHOLE other story.) I circumsized all 3 of my boys so they looked like their Daddy and avoided possible alienation at school and in sports (it’s the norm here.) I selectively vaccinate and spread all of those out. I never wore my babies, I didn’t really know much about it. I let all of my kids cry it out, but not until they were over 6 months old. I had been back to work full-time for 3 months by then and the exhaustion was making me crazy. My kids were up 3-4 times per night…every single night at different times. So sometime I was awake every hour of the night. I was a zombie. (It’s funny how I’m justifying myself here…in a judgement-free zone…but that pesky Mommy guilt is always there.) And I’ll always question my decisions. Forever, probably. Here’s the BEST news though, my boys are happy, healthy, well-adjusted boys!!! Isn’t that all that matters!?!?

  5. 2momswithaplan Says:

    I love that you posted this. You’re a parent and can have these thoughts and opinions. When someone like me (childless) has these opinions, parenting parades all over the world are shit on! πŸ˜‰

    Even if people are convinced that I shouldn’t have an opinion on this stuff – I already do…

    Here are my decisions so far for when we do become parents.

    Circumcision – Yes. Personally I feel it’s hygene appropriate – but that’s just my opinion. πŸ™‚

    Sleeping – Holly and I don’t plan on co-sleeping with our children. We’ve seen the effects from it (a toddler that doesn’t want to sleep in his bed because he wants to be close to mommy) and wish to have our baby sleep in their bed from the start. Of course, until the baby reaches a month old, he/she will be sleeping in a bassenet by our bed.

    Getting them to sleep – My sister got lucky in this department with my niece. She would lay her down, put a soft blanket over her with a paci and my niece would fall right to sleep. It was really that easy. Even to this day (at 2 years old) she will go right to sleep. We hope our child will be the same way but if he/she isn’t, we plan to have a night time routine. This will include a feeding, bathing, storytelling, then sleep. If that doesn’t work then we will probably rock them to sleep. As you can see, this isn’t something we’ve figured out yet because we’re unsure how our child will handle sleep. We do know that we won’t do the CIO method. I can’t stand to hear a baby crying like that.

    Routine – Yes, we will have a routine. Holly is a preschool teacher and routine is her life. Also, I’m a planner and like to have things in order so routine will be my life too when a baby comes around. lol We’ll see if this actually happens tho. lol

    Vaccinations – Definitely yes!

    Babywearing – I would like to explore the world of babywearing. I think it’s very comforting and soothing to the baby as well as the mother.

    Feeding (Milk) – Holly and I plan to both breastfeed. When I’m about 7-8 months along, Holly will induce lactation. We’re hoping to have a small supply of milk on hand for when the baby arrives to help us while my milk comes in.

    Education – More than likely we will have him/her attend a public school but the public schools in Florida are so bad, I may shell out the extra money for him/her to go to a private school.

    Natural parenting –I would like to work in as many holistic measures as possible when we do have a baby. Our best friend is an acupuncture physician so we will probably take a lot of advice from her on the holistic options.

    Diapers – We are considering cloth but the extra laundry is something Holly wants to avoid. We are still in discussion. πŸ™‚

    That’s all we know for now. More to come when we actually become parents. πŸ™‚

  6. Natasha Says:

    I don’t think you will have alienated anyone, at least I hope not. We, as parents, are all different. We are all BOUND to do things differently. As long as we respect other people’s choices, then I think we can hope for the same in return.

    There was loads on your list that I forgot to mention in my reply to your previous post, so here would be my answers:

    Circumcision: No. We only have girls, but if I had a boy I would not choose to put them through what, for me, would be an unnecessary medical operation, unnecessary anaesthetic and unnecessary pain. I don’t know what the reasons are that people choose to circumcise their children, but for us, there is no reason great enough to put our child through an operation without a due medical cause.

    Sleeping arrangements – We co-slept with our daughter, it felt natural. She now has her own bed in her own room, but at 2 years old still sneaks in with us at about 5/6am, and that’s fine πŸ™‚ The twins have never slept in our bed. There’s not enough room and I’d worry about our 2 year old daughter accidentally climbing in on top of them in the night! They do share a cot, though πŸ™‚ Their cot is in our room and probably will be until they are a year or so old.

    Getting babies to sleep: I have never left any of our children to cry. I never would want to and never could. It would upset me too much to hear my children crying and not do anything about it. I would rather sit up all night cuddling my babies than listen to them cry for 10 minutes to get a full nights sleep.

    Routine: We had none with Anna. She never came to any harm because of her lack of routine, she’s two now and she happily goes to bed at 7, she knows when it is time to get up. She eats when she is hungry, she baths when she is dirty…

    With the twins, we accidentally fell into a routine of sorts.I think you could call it a routine, and it works well for us. I think you’d call it a routine anyway. I take Anna to bed awake, and stay with her in her room until she is sound asleep. By the time I leave her in her bed it is about 7 / half 7, sometimes a bit later. At this point hubby is snuggled up with both twins on the sofa where he has entertained them and cuddled them while I was spending time with Anna and getting her to bed. Both are usually asleep by the time I get back, so I ended up changing, feeding, swaddling them and putting them down in their cot one after the other at 8pm every night, and found they seem to quite like this – they sleep all night after being put down πŸ™‚

    Vaccinations: We pay to get our children vaccinated privately – in order that they can be given the vaccines that we want them to have separately rather than all together in one lot. We were not at all happy with the 7-in-1 shots, and they haven’t had the MMR either but they have had them all separately.

    Babywearing: Yes. I wore Anna, what I guess you would call, “to obsession”, but to me I saw her as a person, not an object to be put in the corner in a basket or chair. I didn’t leave her EVER and my reason was not that I was obsessed with babywearing, but because I saw it as including her in everything that I did. No matter what I was doing or where I was going, she was there, at my level. I just didn’t like putting her down. She was my first baby, I think this had a large part in it. Another large factor in it was that when she was born she was taken to NICU. I found this separation, and the physical barrier of the incubator, to be very traumatic. From the moment she was ‘mine’ to take home, I didn’t ever want to put her down. It just never occurred to me to put her down. I wanted to hold her, in arms or otherwise, constantly. It’s just how I did things – I breastfed on cue, I responded immediately to her every signal, I slept with her in my bed, I included her in everything that I did, as a social and worthy being who was her own person despite being a very very young one. Part of that, for me, required CONSTANT physical contact, and at times that would have been very difficult to achieve without wearing her.

    For the twins, constant physical contact has just not been possible. I have three babies now. And the twins do spend time laying together in their cot / on a play mat / sat individually in bouncy chairs. I do still wear them a lot, though.

    Feeding solids: I chose BLW with Anna and I am glad because she was not ready for solids until she was over 12 months old. That was okay, I followed her cues. I kept offering it to her and as long as she was still feeding from the breast I knew I didn’t have to worry that she was not interested in the solids I offered her. When she was 13 months old she suddenly got the idea and started putting big sticks of carrot and broccoli in her mouth (she LOVED broccoli). Soon after this she was keen and happy to sit with us for every meal time, and join in. She now eats perfectly with a knife and fork and at 2 you would never know she didn’t wean until 7 months after the recommended time to get started. She eats like a pig (actually, she eats like her mother!). She will wolf down anything that you offer her. The only thing she has turned down is humous, and I can kind of understand that.

    I will definitely use BLW with the twins as well.

    We are vegetarians. So are our children. We have been slated time and time again for this. Obviously when our children get old enough to make their own decisions, then it will be up to them whether they want to continue a vegetarian lifestyle or not. But until then our children will eat the same as me and my husband: a healthy, balanced, vegetarian diet.

    I hate the “forcing your views onto your child” comment that I have been given time and time again. We’re just raising our child in accordance with the way that we live, the same way every other family does. It’s not like they are being deprived of anything – Our children will have all of their nutritional needs met, they will always have full bellies, and with all the vege ‘fake meat’ around, they’re not going to be thinking “I want to try a sausage roll [*hissyfit*] ” because when others are eating meat sausage rolls, they will be eating quorn sausage rolls…

    The vegetarian diet can be very, very healthy. Yes, it is possible not to get all your nutrients if you don’t watch what you eat, but the same for meat eaters – especially those who live on fast foods and junk ‘meat’ [*vom*].

    My real pet hate is when people assume that because you do things differently, they have a right to pass comment and judgement. I wouldn’t walk up to a family sat in mc donalds, and comment that they shouldn’t be feeding their child on fatty, battery reared, chemical-pumped, hormone-treated, dead animal flesh… I wouldn’t suggest that they are “forcing their views onto their child” by “forcing” them to eat a meat diet…

    Why do people think they have the right to assume you would ever deprive your child of the healthy diet that they need? Why do people think that you are forcing your views onto your child just because your views differ to theirs?!

    I would never deprive my daughters of ANYTHING that they needed and if they truly couldn’t get the goodness they need from a vegetarian diet I would raise, kill, gut and roast an animal for them myself if I needed to!

    I am not forcing my views onto my children; I, like any other parent, am raising my children to fit in with my lifestyle and our household. Like all children, Anna, Grace and Sophie-Rose will live as I ‘raise’ them until they are old enough to make their own decisions – then they will start deciding for themselves what their beliefs are, and how they would like to live their lives πŸ™‚

    Milk feeds: I breastfeed. I breastfed Anna until she stopped asking for it at 16 months, and will wait for the twins to stop asking for it as well πŸ™‚ I’m happy to feed up until 3 years. If the twins have not stopped asking for it by then, I will probably consider actively weaning / encouraging them off of the breast myself.

    Education: Public schooling. Definitely. This does not mean that I won’t have plenty to teach her myself. For me, the social aspects of public schooling are too valuable to miss out on. I also do not consider myself qualified to teach her all that she will benefit from learning in her youth. This is the time where knowledge is most easily absorbed, and I know I don’t have enough to offer her. This does not mean that I will not be teaching her what I can in our time. But I have a lot to learn as well. To be honest, when she reaches junior years in school, there will probably be a thing or two that she will be able to teach me! lol I loved school. I loved learning. I loved making friends. I loved play time, I loved lessons, I loved school dinners! haha (although I was not a vegetarian at the time, I don’t know if they do veggie school dinners??) I look forward to Anna starting school for her to experience all of this as well πŸ™‚ It is true I was bullied in high school 😦 I hope Anna never does experience that. But for me, I think the bullying made me stronger in the end, and definitely contributed to making me the person who I am now. It is fair to say, I learned a lot about the way society works in school. I value that lesson learned.

    Natural parenting: I’m still not sure what this is. I think we maybe do a bit of natural parenting?? Umm… Maybe we don’t!

    Diapers: Disposables now. We did reusables with my first daughter for 7 months then the laundry situation got on top of us and we switched to partially biodegradable disposables. Our eldest potty trained at 14 months (that is literally, SHE potty trained, I didn’t have anything to do with it! lol). The twins are in the same disposables. I admit I feel guilty about it, but I don’t have the time to include nappies in our massive laundry schedule!!

    How I am with them, in general: I am a very relaxed and laid back parent. I can say with total honestly that I have never got angry with my daughter in 2 years of her life so far, and CERTAINLY couldn’t see myself getting angry with the twins (they are only 4 months old).

    In general I treat them the way I hope they like to be treated. I strive to keep things interesting and fun, I never ignore them, I constantly talk / sing / read to them. I dance for and with them. I paint with them, stick with them, think of new fun things to do with them. I try to get outside with them at least once a day (although this is not always possible with the weather here). I go to a different baby group almost every day. The social interaction with other babies and toddlers is great and they all love the change in scenery and different toys that are there.

    I can’t believe how much I love my babies. For all that I have to do, I would ALWAYS go one step further if it was necessary.

    My babies were born, and suddenly it didn’t matter that I had poo in my hands and spit-up in my hair – that’s life as a mum πŸ™‚ [*proud smirk*] (Yeah, being a mum made me PROUD to have sick in my hair! Mua!)

    I’m not a worrier, but I, too, have nightmares. Terrible nightmares that fling me from sleep to dread, from bed to cot-side at 3am, just to place a hand on the tummy of a sleeping baby, and in my sleep-deprived state, poke them until I am sure they are breathing… even if this wakes them up.

    My heart stops and I feel compelled to leave whatever I am doing immediately, every time I hear on the radio or the news of a school shooting, a car crash, a fire or anything that involves children getting hurt, just to wrap my arms around my children… – even if it is 11pm and I have only just got my eldest down in her own bed. I am COMPELLED to wrap her up in my arms and know that she is there, and so am I.

    I look after my babies – I feed them, cloth them, get up in the night with them, clean up after them… I would never consider not doing these things – I ENJOY every minute of doing these things πŸ™‚

    I think that sums up how I am with my children πŸ™‚

    Twin things: People say I am super organised. Although I have no chart. I do have two babies, but it’s not that, it IS that I am organised and anal lol

    Sticky hands: I’ve always been able to enjoy and appreciate mess. It’s the cleaning up I struggle with.

  7. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    lol… i pretty much agree with everything. I don’t know if I will personally be able to follow through on some of my own lofty goals (I’m not even having twins and I’ve done the baby thing before, albeit 9 years ago). Then again, I’m pretty accepting of other people. I feel you on the BF’ing. I was able to breastfeed my daughter exclusively, however, I’ve since had a reduction and so may end up having to supplement or switch entirely to formula (the book you recommended is on the way btw! I ordered it the day you emailed it to me!)

    The only thing I’m REALLY judgmental on is the circumcision. I think it’s hideous. And I DO actually feel the same way about piercing infant’s ears. My ears are pierced, and so are my daughter’s, however- it was chosen BY US. And I actually tried to talk my daughter out of it, I wanted her to wait until she was older to make the decision, she more or less told me I was a hypocrite seeing as how I have five holes in my ears (3 on one side, two on the other) and a nose ring too! So, I let her do it. But in any case, it IS a form of self-mutilation, and I’m just not for it. I get irate and quite vehement when someone uses the argument of “but I want them to look like everyone else/their daddy” this makes me sick to my stomach, literally. On that token, I’m pretty sure that even if I DID have a son and chose to circumcise, the ped who does circs here would rip my head of and/or have me committed! And he’d probably make me assist him. That was always the worst part of my job when I worked with him. Made me cry every damn time!!! Yeah- I really really really hate circumcision.

  8. Restoring Tally Says:

    Reading through your choices, I would not have minded if you were my mom. πŸ™‚ Particularly when you said that you did not circumcise your boys.

    Keep up the good work. I really liked the bit where you said you have never gotten angry with either of them. I wish more parents were like that.

  9. Christy Says:

    If we had a son we had decided not to circ.

    Before Lily was born I had decided that she would sleep in her own bed in our room. I remember telling my sister that I didn’t want her in my bed. Boy how things change once those little sweet critters get here.

  10. alissa Says:

    i enjoyed this post :] fussing baby wont alloy me a lengthier reply though.

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