Yesterday, in haiku:


Babies on the floor
flailing all the fuck around
how will I catch them?

You keep on screaming
I know you want your milk, dude
give me a minute.

You tricked me again
I sit here feeling bemused
I am a twin mom.

Batteries dying
bouncy chair fucking freaky
gothic sounding tunes.

Mama needs nachos
so hungry she will eat YOU
watch out, little twins.

Poop on your toes, my nails
an arc of pee flies overhead
boy, this is so fun.

You are both asleep
so this is my chance to pee.
Motherhood is grand.

Should be doing this:
writing book, peeing, sleeping.
Twitter ruins my life.

Both babies awake
I missed my chance to go pee
the toilet mourns me.

Every time you burp
it feels like my own triumph
I OWN you, baby.

Judge not, non-twin moms
I should have changed my knickers
minipad instead

I am lots of things:
but ‘more asleep than awake’
describes me today

I am an artist
baby fingernails my art
pass me the clippers.

Three fifty two now
feels like midnight at least
I’m overtired

I keep smelling shit
Who did it this time? ANSWER ME.
I will sniff your butt.

Bride of Chucky on
feels so very dirty
baby twins in room.

YES! Scored a free toy
the Tiny Love Apple, yum
Freegle, I love you

My twins laugh and laugh
her fingers in his mouth and
her feet in his hands.

Painful invention
auto-repeat, more Chucky
and his doll bride too.

Going to bed now
impossibly long long day
worn out from the fun.

I tweeted mostly in haiku yesterday, though I also spoke in sentences about my period, how everything smelled like farts, and my fear of overlarge babydolls. Ah, more high brow reasons for you to follow me on Twitter Plus, we can chat and take it to the next level, ifyouknowwhatimean *leer*.


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5 Responses to “Yesterday, in haiku:”

  1. Skeet Says:

    That’s quite impressive.

  2. Christy Says:

    I agree with Skeet quite impressive.

  3. catsandcradles Says:

    Oh, existere*,
    How I do enjoy your words
    And cute baby pics.

    *I am assuming here that is pronounced as the Latin infinitive, and has four syllables. Otherwise, let me know, and I’ll rework the haiku.

    • existere Says:

      I am non-latin trashing it up and say it with three syllables, but love this haiku hardcore!

      • catsandcradles Says:

        Aww, thanks.

        Amended haiku:

        Oh, existere dear,
        How I do enjoy your words
        And cute baby pics.

        I’ve actually been pronouncing it in my head with three syllables, but when I got to counting them for the haiku, I decided that I should go with the pronunciation I learned back in all those years of Latin. (The vast majority of which I’ve forgotten, of course.)

        I actually quite love the haiku form. It’s easy to do for fun, and every so often you get one that turns out just perfectly, and it’s like a blossom.

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