Another day, no more dollars.


Struggling again today. It’s the worst when I wake up to only ‘minor’ pain, think I’m getting better, and then 20 minutes later can’t put weight on my right leg. Again.

So I am rebounded into losing hope and joy, despite things like this being in my inbox (Cookie’s rendering of Coconut):

Spent the morning talking about TMD taking that month of unpaid leave. She wants me to get better; she also would love to have that much time with the babies and me. We are starting to discuss this more seriously – how we would need everything planned before she took leave. Like a weekly schedule, with swimming worked in. Like having a real conversation with Osteo about what she thinks.

I am terrified to use up a month’s worth of TMD’s salary from our savings, because how will we ever replace them? This is my last month of maternity pay – so next month we’d go from one-and-a-half salaries down to no salary?

I work part time as a consultant for a certain company, but that is currently earning me the impressive salary of 22.00 a week as I only do two twenty minute slots of work for them. I’m telling you, romance novel a go go is starting to sound like a valid and necessary thing.

The fact that my other back joint is starting to hurt after having never hurt before – it’s like the triumverate of pelvis pain. Need to call my pal Osteo and give her a little update.

I just want this to go away. This morning I’ve actually thought I wouldn’t get pregnant again because this is too terrifying a journey. And there are no guarantees where it will end. Hopefully not financial ruin and a chronic disability, huh?

Thank you all for your support, suggestions, etc. I am reading and rereading every comment, feeling like I’ve got my own team of cheerleaders, and that helps.


3 Responses to “Another day, no more dollars.”

  1. Christy Says:

    Again that picture is just too cute.

    Ra, Ra, Ra, Sis-boom-ba!!! I was never a cheerleader in school so I can’t make up any funny cheers that involve feeling better so just pretend I did.

    I really do wish for you to feel better, it just kills me to think of you hurting (physically as well as emotionally).

  2. Mammapie Says:

    Wow here’s hoping the perfect perfect solution arises and you heal up. Good thoughts!!!!!!

  3. Lauren Says:

    Are you eligible for disability benefit? x

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