Who the fuck knew anyone could be allergic to potato, the most bland food product on earth?

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Turns out Snort and his indefatigable eczema may have a slight problem with cooked potato, developing a pretty immediate rash wherever it touches his bare skin.

Considering he approaches eating the same way Godzilla, high on angeldust, might approach demolishing New York City, I think it’s not hard to understand why a meal of mashed potatoes could end up covering his face, neck, arms, and legs.

‘At least he’s cute,’ TMD said, as I pointed out that he was that kid – the one with the allergies, the weirdo skin rash, the possible future glasses.

Cute, yes. Beautiful, yes.

But the fact that his forehead is currently crisscrossed with about a million gashes and cuts of different lengths and widths – oh, yes, he’s not one to let a rash die a death. He must SCRATCH and RIP and TEAR at it.

All I know is yesterday there was a Mummy saying, ‘You know, Existere, I don’t really think these rashes of his are linked to anything. It just seems to come and go at random.’

And today there was a Mama who thought, ‘Jesus CHRIST, they’ve been crying all day, I need to break out some sort of entertainment. I know! Isn’t there some mashed potato left over from last night in the fridge?’ And that Mama clucked with pride as her daughter scooped it up and chewed, as her son pounded and squished and bulldozed.

Bad mistake, Mama.

Now there is a Mummy, a Mama, and a cat. There is also Lobster Boy, angry itchy Lobster Boy, who is distantly related to Teething Girl – another one who chooses to emulate killer giant dinosaur things with her ROAR and SCREAM and GNASHING OF TEETH (or gums, as the case may be).

Regardless, we will be steering clear of the old po-tay-toe for now.

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14 Responses to “Who the fuck knew anyone could be allergic to potato, the most bland food product on earth?”

  1. catsandcradles Says:

    Oh dear. I think *I* was “that kid”. Glasses: check. Weird rashes: check. (I got mine particularly between my toes and behind my ears. How is that for cool?) Allergies: Well, okay, the seasonal ones didn’t really develop until early adulthood, and I still don’t really have food ones that I know of. But still. If it helps any, I think I’m a happy and reasonably functional adult.

    Also: Yikes! Sorry he’s allergic to potatoes. I thought they were one of the more hypoallergenic foods around. Maybe he’ll grow out of it?

    • existere Says:

      Apparently it’s linked to eczema, and most kids outgrow the potato thing by age 6.

      I am *that* kid in other ways- glasses, chubby, shy (not any more! ha!), no fashion sense. And I’m kick ass now, as you clearly are, so Snort will be as well.

  2. twomomsandababy Says:

    Bird is allergic to carrots. Ridiculous. And banana. And nothing else. One gives her gas that you would think was trying to kill her and the other gives her bleeding diaper rash. Sigh.

    Crazy kids of ours!

  3. Tatiana Says:

    Potatoes were the only thing there? Not butter & milk or anything?

    • existere Says:

      Had the tiniest amount of fake margarine in them – like a spread made from olive oil. But my tweeps have shown that potato and eczema skin do not mix – apparently there’s shit-tons of research out there. Who knew?

  4. saralema Says:

    Were the potatoes cooked in/with anything?

    As a woman who married “that kid” and fiercely watching to see if her daughter is also “that kid,” I highly recommend foodlab group on Yahoo (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/foodlab/). It is a bungroupch of woman (maybe some men) EXTREMELY knowledgeable in food allergies/intolerances because they have them or live with others who have them. From them, I know potatoes are nightshades, so if he reacts to that, he may also react to other nightshades like tomoatoes and eggplant. I highly recommend them!

  5. Megs Says:

    Im so excited to babysit on Saturday.

  6. eccedentesiast Says:

    Not that I know anything about babies and allergies and potatoes (because I avoid the latter like a plague) but I still seem to react to the starch in potatoes. Might be starch related rather than nightshade – which does sound like some evil poison – related but who knows.

    Love to you, TMD and the gorgeous godzilla babies xx

  7. Christy Says:

    Poor kiddos!

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