The one where I actually offer an update.

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Okay, I know you’re beside yourself with longing, with unquenchable curiousity. Did Existere go to the Osteopath? What did she/he say?

She thinks the current problem with my pelvis is all due to when I was run over last January. You know, when I was six weeks pregnant.

I told her about being run over because I have been reading up on SPD, as is my wont, and in cases of very severe SPD I noticed a pattern – some sort of trauma. As the osteo was hearing my litany of diagnosis, pain, and not healing, her brow creased. I told her about the accident, and she said, ‘That makes a hell of a lot of sense. I was actually just about to ask if there had been a trauma involving a fall.’

She examined me. Apparently my freely-swinging pelvis is now more of a very mobile pelvis ‘stuck’ in a shit position. The left side is just how it should be, but the right side is rotated out of a neutral position and is stuck that way. After an examination that has left me in unbelieveable pain, she did her heebie jeebie Osteopath stuff. I stood up afterwards and she told me I already looked ‘straighter.’ (No, I’m not going to leave TMD for a man.)

Then she told me I would hurt quite badly for a day or two, after which I would feel better than I have in a long time. She also gave me some Arnica (a homeopathic medicine that’s actually pretty mainstream over here, but I’ve never tried it) and told me this was a ‘blip.’ Yes, the pain that I have had for, oh, just about a year is a blip. She believes it is fully treatable.

Me? Feeling okay about this. TMD bought me some additional Arnica, I am still wearing my baltic amber, I plan to go back to the Osteo in a fortnight. If you bit into my arm right now, it would crunch like cornflakes because I have granola running in my veins*.

Am sort of shocked by how bad I feel. I’m fully back on crutches, shuffling very slowly while leaning heavily on them. The pain in my sacro-iliac-whatever joint has been joined by pain back in my old friend, the symphasis pubis. (First one, lower back, right side. Second one, the pubic hair area.) It’s a bit, um, startling to have bad pain in the front again. I’m glad she warned me I would hurt for a couple of days. I’m hoping that’s what this is and she has not broken me.

She was very unfazed by the whole thing. She complimented my core muscles (clearly all the vomiting during pregnancy kept my tummy tight!). She told me I should go swimming to regain fitness – avoiding the cardinal enemy of SPD, the breaststroke. She recommended I start the core exercises the physio recommended. She also told me I need to wear a support belt when pushing a stroller.

Yes, the fuckupedness of this whole thing is that my relapse is probably due to pushing the twins around in a stroller because I was worried babywearing would irritate my body. But I’ve been given the all clear to babywear, preferably with a wrap, preferably one baby at a time. I’m going to take a break for awhile, seeing as I’m in no state to go out and traipse around anyway.

But you realise what this means? If this little problem of mine was really caused by the accident, there may be implications for my possible future pregnancies. Because if this had JUST been SPD, I was told not to get pregnant again – because, and I quote, ‘I am the worst case of SPD they’ve seen, and it usually gets worse with a second pregnancy.’ But if it’s the accident, and perhaps if I had treatment throughout a second pregnancy…hmmm.

All of that being said, as I was recounting pregnancy – being run over, almost needing surgery, vomiting dozens of times a day, being confined to a wheelchair – part of me was thinking, ‘Why in god’s name would I want to do that again?’ (Though I’d look both ways before crossing any streets, I’ll tell you.)

I think it’s because I want one. more. baby.

But that is the subject for another entry.

At the moment, please send good, healing vibes my way. I’m Buddhist, but I’ll take anything you’ve got. I am tired of lying prone, of having nothing to do with the babies (though Snort slept by me in bed today while I watched slasher movies on youtube), of TMD having to take time off work to care for the three of us. I am ready to reenter the land of real, even if at first that means my capability to walk for about fifteen minutes without crutches.

Baby steps.

But please, please, please, let me be able to walk, to run, to live a normal life…..before my babies can walk. That’s about six months, okay, universe?

*I thought of this sentence in the bathtub tonight, and it made me smile.

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8 Responses to “The one where I actually offer an update.”

  1. Shilo Says:

    Oh you poor thing, I feel for you! I had SPD with my first but NOTHING like what you are going through, not even close. I couldn’t walk without crying my eyes out so I know the pain. But at least I could still walk unaided. I am sending you many many wonderful healing vibes xxx

  2. catsandcradles Says:

    So sorry you’re in a lot of pain again, but hopefully the Osteopath is right, and it’ll feel better in a day or two. I don’t know if acupuncture is a big thing over there, but if you’re feeling granola anyway, you might give it a shot. I’ve gone a lot for allergies, but I think it’s supposed to help with pain too. And I have to admit, I did have the “Wait, you’re going to stick a needle in my knee and it’s going to help my sinuses? Seriously?” thoughts at first, but the stuff works.

    I also now pour salt water up my nose sometimes, have been taking vitex to deal with an issue with my menstrual cycle, and my lovely wife is taking Chinese herbs to increase fertility. (Yay, granola!)

  3. Tatiana Says:

    I think about another pregnancy all the time. I dream about it. It’s insane, it’s taking over my entire life, but it makes me completely nauseous as well. I look at Maia and wonder why I would ever ever need another baby when I already have such a perfect one, and even though I know that’s entirely NOT THE POINT, the point of a second child isn’t to improve on the first, I feel like I’m somehow betraying her. It’s crazy. It literally makes me sick to think of having another baby.

    Also the fact that I haven’t gotten more than 4 hours of sleep in a row in over a year now kind of makes me sick too.

    Anyhow, point being, you are either a trooper or entirely insane.

    Also hello, that “straighter” thing? Cracked me the fuck up.

  4. apieceofwood Says:

    Hope you feel better over the next few days… good news about a future pg though…

  5. Jennie Says:

    That’s great! I mean, not great about the pain, and not great about being knocked down by a car, but great that possibly the potential for future pregnancies has been increased without huge worries about wheelchairedness. Hope to hear an update on your improved pelvic health in the next couple of days!

  6. Christine LaRocque Says:

    Alas there is hope! That must sparkle right in front of you, like a carrot you are hell bent on reaching. You go girl, you can do it.

    On the subject of more babies. Blogged about this very thing last night. I wonder if that need ever goes away. I’m waiting with baited breath to see how things go for you on all fronts.

  7. Optimistically Hopeful Says:

    Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to read that you are still in so much pain. I was so hoping that you would be well on the road to recovery by now. I hhope the osteo is right and your feeling much better soon!

  8. Christy Says:

    I hope that you feel better soon. Here are some healing {{{{{{{{{{{vibes}}}}}}}}}} for you. I hope they help you fucking hippy.

    Loves!

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