guest entry: blondie

by

(guest post)

dear sister,

there are so many moments where it’s difficult to be strong & to be myself, but i find a way to make it through, & you’re the only person who knows i’ll do the right thing… that doesn’t tell me what to do, but says “you’ll figure it out,” in this knowing way that only an older sister could say.

now you have two beautiful additions to your family, to our family, and everyday i want to tell you how much it hurts my heart to not be there… to see the first carrot eaten, to see your face light up when you look at your twins, to see your wife, who i have come to love just like a sister.

there is so much about you that i admire, & when i think about who i want to be one day a lot of the qualities i want to grow are the ones that you have.  it hurts to be away from you too. it hurts to not tell you about my everyday. it hurts that you don’t get to see that i am growing into a person i’m proud of, a person you’d be proud of too.

last week you looked to me for advice & for some reason i felt like you looked at me differently, like i had grown up. in many ways i have, in many ways i still need to figure things out. i wish you were here to help, but i always feel this connection to you that only you will get.

there are so many things we share besides the fact that you saved my life when i rolled into our pool as a little baby. you are creative & seeing you be so open has inspired me to be open too… to be myself… to love myself… to not be embarrassed by the past, but to learn from it.

from far away i saw you grow & i wish i could explain how watching your life changed mine, but it did… in such a beautiful way.

i might never be as strong as you, even though i can convince the business world of anything i’d like.  there’s something you just have to know…. that i’m so proud of you.

i look up to you, and just like dj you really are “smart, pretty and cool”. you are so beautiful for everything you have been through & for who you are after dealing with it. you try still to protect me, knowing that i’m a little innocent, & i like that. you might be the only person who gets me & my “blondie” world of perfection & love that begins under snow while waiting for a bus in some serendipitous way. you appreciate these things instead of calling them ridiculous.

i really do want to be “just like you.” you are beautiful, insanely talented, creative, intelligent, romantic, insightful & i am blessed every single day that you are my sister.

in my secret world i wish i could change my life & be near you & your little daisy & joey. in a lot of ways i have thought about it.

i miss you. i love you. i would do anything for you.

-blondie

ps. thank you for ignoring spelling errors & grammar… for loving me even though i’m far from perfect.

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3 Responses to “guest entry: blondie”

  1. Beecher Says:

    Oh! How Absolutely sweet! Now I wish I could have the two of you for MY sisters. Such a joyous thing that would be.

  2. Tatiana Says:

    crying! so so sweet.

  3. Christy Says:

    Oh my gosh. I need a whole box of tissues now!

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