Stupid questions people ask about my twins.


Among the world of stupid questions, the most stupid is, ‘Are they identical?’ I admit Coconut and Snort do often look very similar, and that strangers can’t be expected to know the difference. So I don’t hold strangers accountable for their stupidity, despite the fact that one has blonde hair and blue eyes and one seems to have brown hair and hazel or brown eyes. Whatever, right?

I think a lot of people somehow assume all twins are identical as well. I can’t correct all of society’s wrongs.

But….people who know I have a little girl Coconut and a little boy Snort? And medical professional after medical professional?

‘Are they identical? No? Are you sure they aren’t? They look so much alike.’

Dude, peel off their diapers and you will discover that no matter how much alike the rest of them is, there is one are where they are, most assuredly, not identical. Boys and girls are non-identical by definition (though I think I have read something about once-in-a-lifetime b/g identical twins…not sure how that works).

Our health visitor said, ‘If you didn’t have IVF and know there were two eggs put back, you wouldn’t know if they were identical or not.’  Number one, we had embryos put back, not eggs. Number two, check out her lovely vagina! Look at his cutie pie penis!!


Though sometimes even we have trouble telling them apart in pictures. They are remarkably similar in appearance:

Do you know which is which?

I do.

She’s the one with the hair that is growing so fast suddenly, and may or may not have a wave/curl to it. He’s the one with four strands of three-and-a-half-inch blonde white hair that bob around in the breeze. He’s the one with eyes so blue they are sometimes startling. She’s the one who likes smiling for the camera.

Sheesh already.

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17 Responses to “Stupid questions people ask about my twins.”

  1. Darlene Says:

    LOL As long as YOU know whom is who, I wouldn’t care about the rest of the general population.

  2. 2momswithaplan Says:

    They do look a lot alike because yes they are twins… but I can tell them apart.

    As Darlene said – as long as you know whom is who… the other people don’t matter. 😉

  3. Christy @ Jinxyisms Says:

    I get regular everyday people not knowing that you can’t have boy/girl identical twins but I’d be a little skeptical of that health visitor.

    Oh and usually I can tell them apart. Maybe its my years of training since my sisters are identical or maybe its because I stalk you so much. 🙂

  4. saralema Says:

    I was going to say “well, they’re infants and do have similarities, so I can see why someone might ask that.” But then I read that medical professionals asked and that is stupid.

    I have determined people don’t really *look* and think before they speak. MP will be decked out in pinks and purples head to toe and I’ll still be asked “How old is he?” (And yes, a boy could be decked in pinks and purples, but in my area, that’s highly unlikely. Especially with the big ole flower headband.)

  5. CJ Says:

    As SOON as I read the title of this post, I knew it what it would be about. People are stupid. They used to ask if J and E were twins. One is green/brown eyed/red hair and one is blue eyed/blonde….not to mention they are FIFTEEN months apart and J is SIGNIFICANTLY small for her age….people are dumb.

    Yes, all people with Down syndrome are twins to all others. For real.

  6. Tatiana Says:

    Sometimes I can’t tell them apart in pictures and I am SO EMBARRASSED by it! hehe.

  7. nic @mybottlesup Says:

    this is such a fantastic lesson and post. i’m thrilled this is out in the blogosphere.

  8. Jen(theremotejen) Says:

    Coco’s holding her bib, right?
    I always tell people when they ask, “No, b/g twins can’t be identical”. Teaching moment!

  9. Jen(theremotejen) Says:

    (because I’m a dork like that)

  10. eccedentesiast Says:

    Just wait until they’re teenagers and people ask – there’s always going to be a nearby idiot to ask the idiotic question, don’t you worry there existere 🙂

  11. Gliding through motherhood Says:

    I get that ALL the time and mine don’t look alike. I love it when people go “awww… a boy and a girl??? awww.. are they identical?”
    I particularly like it when someone they are with said “no moron. Boy. girl. NOT THE SAME!”, cuz then *I* don’t have to deal with it 😉

  12. Chibi Jeebs Says:

    I guessed right! Actually, I could see more hair on Coconut. hehe

    I feel like a complete tool for not making the leap that identical twins would also be identical DOWN THERE. Duh. Thanks for teaching me something new today! 🙂

  13. WannabeMomErin Says:

    I do not get why people assume all twins are identical, when MOST twins are NOT identical.
    Also, how can people who are supposedly schooled in health (I assume this includes basic biology) not get that identical twins are (usually) always the same sex?
    I think that rare case you were mentioning is a 2 boy situation where due to a hormonal imbalance in the early weeks one of the fetus’s sex organs did not grow into a penis and testicles; since all fetuses start out as girls in the very beginning.

  14. Katie Says:

    Good news…I think as my twins get older I’m not getting as many stupid questions as I did when they were tiny…so there’s hope! (I think it helps that I dress them in entirely different outfits from each other. It totally throws people off that my IDENTICAL twins are dressed DIFFERENTLY!)

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