Thick to Thin Thursdays.

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Bet you thought I forgot about Thick to Thin Thursdays. Nope. But two weeks ago I gained weight and was stroppy, and last week I was busy shitting myself on the couch due to the swine flu. So as soon as I’ve posted this – babies willing – I’ll go update my weight loss stats. The short version of it is that as of yesterday, I am the same weight I was a few weeks ago.

I don’t know what is happening. Well, actually I do: I’m not writing down any foods, attempting to curb my eating, and I am eating a lot. I am craving a lot of comfort food. Not to mention the thought that with 14 week old twins, sometimes I don’t actually have time to eat, so shoving cookies in my mouth while warming bottles happens. Quite a lot.

A few days ago I was like, ‘Fuck it. I don’t really want to lose this weight yet. I want to eat.’ But you know what, I do want to lose it. Losing 60 pounds a few years ago gave me a taste of being normal sized (apologies to the curvy ladies out there – I think you’re gorgeous!). By ‘normal,’ I mean being able to shop in any store, feel really confident, and just generally being much, much healthier. Pregnancy with twins sort of fucks those things up, or it did for me…with the exception of confidence. I looked bangin’ when I was hugely pregnant.

All the information I read emphasized weight gain, weight gain, weight gain. And it worked. My babies were not born early, and they were a very good size for twins. I don’t regret the gain at all (59 pounds…the goal was to gain 60).

But here I am, oddly enough, a few years after wearing a bikini in public, and I am as heavy as I ever was. Heavy and weirdly flabby around my tummy. Granted, my stomach was out to HERE when I was pregnant, and then my muscles were cut through for the c section. The section also left a big portion of my lower abdomen numb, so that adds to the odd, out of shape feeling.

I want to lose the weight. I bought some clothes (I threw away all Fat Clothes when I lost the weight last time, vowing I did not need to keep them as I would not regain the weight. I kept it off, too, until the babies!) as I was feeling down wearing oversized pjs all day, every day. But I really don’t want to buy any more. I want to lose the weight, and lose it lose it lose it. I need to say that publicly, because last night’s McDonald’s sure did taste fine.

Total weight loss (I think): 7 pounds. To find out more, or to join in my weight loss crusade, click ‘Thick to Thin Thursdays’ on the right.

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One Response to “Thick to Thin Thursdays.”

  1. CJ Says:

    I admire you. I WANT to lose weight, but will never actually stick to anything long enough to make enough of a difference. I’m lazy that way. And OOOOOH, chocolate!

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