Archive for October 29th, 2009

The one where I reveal the depths of my craziness when pseudo medical people freak me the fuck out.

October 29, 2009

Tonight a woman told me I needed to call the national swine flu helpline in regards to Snort. My stomach clenched and I felt I was going to abruptly eject The Shit Of Fear all over the couch.

I’ve been sick this week. Headache, poopy times, tired. TMD is now sick as well, which is odd for her. Last night Snort threw up a few times. I hesitate to say it was vomit as who can really tell the difference between throwing up and a violent spit up? But there were three occasions where huge amounts of milk shot from his mouth across rooms.

Today they have both had very fucked up feeds, him more than her.

The thing is, we switched from the easy digest back to the normal milk yesterday. And they are also 11 weeks old, near growth spurt time. Both are feeding less than every three hours – which is fucking shocking after getting used to much longer stretches, I can tell you…like having newborns again – and not having as big of feeds as usual. But is this a bug, a growth spurt, new milk? Who knows.

Then Snort felt warm. Okay, quite warm. Hot?

We put one of those forehead strips on him. Said 37/38 degrees C. Our fucking nutso health visitor is always banging on about temps of 38 and how YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR BABY TO COMBUST. So I called the doctor.

And the fucking receptionist said to call this hotline. I was crying and shitting myself, even though I knew he did not have the Swine Flu. I thought, at most, he was just fighting the bug TMD and I have had. This phone number began with the recorded message, ‘Welcome to the national pandemic hotline.’

I handed TMD the phone and hightailed it to the toilet.

Now, bowels empty and head more clear, we are still waiting for the doctor to call. I refuse to talk to him/her. Because I am apparently just as crazy as that fucking health visitor. I told receptionist lady that I really didn’t think there was anything to worry about, and the tone of her voice was like, ‘Okay, then. Risk your child’s life.’

Twenty minutes after this whirlwind of hysteria, including me saying, ‘Fuck, I don’t think I can handle having children,’ Snort was lying on a blanket smiling away at the Taggie I was dangling over him. Ten minutes after that, I was reading him and Coconut a story and realising this was all the most fucking ridiculous thing in the entire world.

It was scary, though.

I can’t imagine how scary it would be to actually feel that something was wrong with your child, as opposed to just freaking out because some crazy bitch was playing it safe. (I thank her, whilst calling her a crazy bitch.) I like to think I would storm the doctor’s office….anything to avoid the huge wait at A&E.

I think the thing is that these people trigger my worst fears. I may doubt my own instincts, because I am a bit of a worrier when it comes to their health (I got this from my mom, who is always fake diagnosing me with various diseases.). But when someone utters a phrase like ‘Swine Flu’, I start off on a train of crazy thinking.

What if this IS the start of the flu? God, should we have gone to the doctor yesterday? What symptoms am I watching out for? Google says mortality is highest in babies!!

Thankfully Google also said it had the symptoms of being flu like (well, yes), unresponsive, a rash, coughing, etc. Snort is about as alert as he’s ever been.

And he doesn’t feel hot anymore.

Our couch is littered with various thermometres, where TMD made us take the temp of every member of the household in two ways just to compare. She wasn’t doing it in the crazy way I would have, though: she was using it to prove the point that forehead strips are fucking stupid and inaccurate.

Anyway. If I believed in God I would be very, very thankful tonight that things appear to be just plain ordinary. The status quo is a happy place to be when it means you have two alert, playful, and calm babies on your hands.

Thank you to my twitterful twitty type friends who provided instant support and love. I needed it.

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Thick to Thin Thursday #3.

October 29, 2009

Lost one pound this week, possibly more a fluke than anything else – but I’ll take it!! This brings my total weight loss to 7 pounds.

I say it was a fluke because I didn’t write down anything I ate or even attempt to point it. I even had a massive cheese toasty (which I possibly immediately shat out, it’s true)….and beer and two portions of nachos last night. Shh.

I feel quite good about losing weight this time. It feels like baby weight as opposed to fat ass type weight, you know? I will feel very very very good when I can start wearing human clothes again.

As opposed to the alien ones I’m now wearing, of course.

In related news, had an appointment with the specialist physio this morning regarding my SPD. My back is now all taped up – need TMD to take a picture so I can see it! I am also being referred for hydrotherapy at the hospital where I gave birth, and hoping it will work out with TMD, childcare issues, etc. It’s six appointments, once per week, so here’s hoping.

I’ve been given a set of new exercises after being informed that my muscle tone was ‘pathetic.’ I also found out I’ve been doing all the abdominal stuff wrong.

I had a big ass assessment of my pelvis as well. Apparently it’s in perfect alignment, but just has extreme mobility on the right side. It offers no resistance, and the physio said she could quite easily ‘dislocate me.’ (She also said she hopes her son is not a homosexual, but perhaps that is for another entry. Don’t worry, she wasn’t homophobic.)

Also, the pain I was calling lower back pain is actually more pelvic pain, I was informed. The joint in the back of my pelvis is as messed up as the one in front. Equality!!! The ligament that connects things in my back hurt like a little son of a bitch when she pushed on it, causing my hands to immediately get sweaty.

She took me to the gym (!) and showed me all sorts of shit to do on a birth/exercise ball. Much to TMD’s dismay, we now have one blown up again in our lounge, along with a huge new playpen.

So. Seven pounds in total! And new exercises to learn, and opportunities to heal. I’ve been told the most important thing is good posture and sitting up straight, and actually that will probably be harder than the little crunches, etc I have to do daily now.

Love to you all.

For more information about Thick to Thin Thursdays, please click the yellow star flair! Feel free to join in….misery loves company??

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