Archive for October 16th, 2009

I want to put them between two pieces of bread, cover them in gravy, and eat them.

October 16, 2009

Snort and Coconut are changing. They have never been cry-ee (do you like my use of the Fake Dictionary?), only crying when hungry or burpy. In the beginning, those cries were harsh, insistent, not ending until something went in – or came out – of their mouths.

Now they hang out for a good long while. Coconut will stick out her lower lip in a pout so gorgeous and heartbreaking I could die, but if you grab her hands and make them dance around, she’ll laugh. If you turn to Snort, without touching him, and just say, ‘Hel-LOW, Snortie’ he will smile and smile and smile.

It takes a lot for them to get riled up. I even fed them one at a time today, every time, despite the fact that they were hungry at the same times. I don’t know. It’s like they’re learning to wait, or perhaps trusting that food will come, even when it takes awhile. This has led to several feeding fails, where myself or TMD thinks they are making hungry faces, and then they refuse to eat much. I never thought I would miss that crying!

I love to kiss their necks. My mom said Coconut looks just like I did at her age (did I tell you that already?) and today I had the weird thought that I was caring for myself when I changed her diaper. In a way, I suppose everthing I do for them is caring for a small part of myself – not just the part of the grown up me who gets nourished by loving them, but the pieces of me I have passed on.

More than anything, these two little individuals are growing and learning and laughing (and pouting), and I am here to cheer them on. For who they are right now, and who they will develop into.

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