Snort & TV, sitting in a tree. (Or: Why my kids are cheap dates.)


We noticed it early on: the love affair with the leg of the tv stand. Boy, those Victorians had it right; the legs of furniture really are erotic. Well, they are if you are a newborn, anyway. And, being twins, Snort & Coconut both decided they wanted to date the tv.

Coconut’s love for Snort surpassed her love the the tv stand, and she gracefully allowed him to spend most of the time in the bouncy chair next to the tv.

What does that boy see???


The expensive baby toys were amused at first, but now they are getting perplexed. What’s wrong with that kid? Hell, what’s wrong with BOTH of these kids? Why do they prefer inanimate objects to the wonder and splender of textures, colours, and squeaks? It’s confusion all around.


The breaking news of this plotline: there’s another woman. It’s a picture over the changing table. Or, more specifically, the underside of the picture. (Going all Victorian again.) This picture doesn’t rouse the same violent passions that the tv stand does, but it’s a calmer, more gentle sort of love.


Snort believes no one knows about this affair, even protesting that these exclusive pictures are the actions of ‘good friends innocently enjoying each other’s company.’ Two can play at that game, and he had better keep his wandering eyes closer to home. Why, you ask?

This is a shot of Coconut, taken last night when Snort was in the other room being changed:



Tags: , ,

4 Responses to “Snort & TV, sitting in a tree. (Or: Why my kids are cheap dates.)”

  1. Tatiana Says:

    that last picture is so so funny!

    Those toys will get played with eventually… but they’ll still love weird things, like water bottles, empty boxes, and hairbrushes.

    I must say, though, I’ve never heard of babies loving tv stand legs 😉

  2. Jen(theremotejen) Says:

    LOL at the last pic!
    The Twinkles have love affairs with the lamp in the kitchen, and our wedding picture over my rocking chair. Wait. It’s not the actual picture, it’s the contrast of white wall-black picture frame-white matt-dark picture. Fascinating. Also, our vertical blinds are their best friends.
    Want good times? Print off a high-contrast picture of a dalmation. Hold in front of babes. Watch eyes go from spot to spot to spot to spot. Amazing(also amazing: what passes for good times around here.)
    Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be working right now.

  3. Shilo Says:

    haha This is brilliant. Cutest ever. My first daughter had a major obsession with our outside blind and would stare at it through the window for hours apon hours. I wonder what my twins fixation will be….

  4. Jinxy Says:

    So well written! The pictures are perfect.

    I agree with Tatiana that the toys will get played with eventually. But to some things they will always some in second or third. Lily’s two current favorite “toys” are a value coupon card (think small credit card type thing) and a mint jar. I have no idea whey the card it fun, at least the mint jar makes noise. Kids are weird.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: