I am sitting in a puddle of my own making. I cannot stop crying.


5 Responses to “Woah.”

  1. qtpie1602 Says:

    Wow lady…I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through..Well..I can imagine…but then I’d have to cut it in half…The most important thing I can say is to make sure you take the time to take care of yourself. Which is damn near impossible right now because you are always feeding babies…But that will pass…I am sure they will settle quite nicely into a routine for you…(which they won’t follow like clockwork…but hopefully it will be a help…) Hang in there! BTW…Your babies a so fucking adorable!

  2. 2momswithaplan Says:

    Aw no! Don’t cry! I’m sorry you are feeling sad and overwhelmed right now. If it makes you feel any better – I was having a crappy day that I planned to drown in a bottle of wine later on… but then at lunch I went to check my mail and in the mail was an announcement from you! That note you wrote made me feel 10 times better. You turned a light on in the dark room I was in. Thank you. In return – I will turn the light on for you too.

  3. CJ Says:

    Alright…who pissed in your Corn Flakes? Do I need to open a big old can of whoop ass?!?!?

  4. Jen(theremotejen) Says:

    I’ve been watching your tweets today and hoping that you’re ok. Wish I was a little closer, I could come over and help and we could have a big old baby twin party(wouldn’t that be…interesting? potential for 4(!!!) screaming babies at once).
    Ok, now that we’re both done hyperventilating at that thought….

    I think it gets better. I’ve been on my own for about a month now, and absolutely that first bit was hard as hell. Easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I know there were at least a few days where I just laid them on each side of me on the couch and cried all day long. Many more days where all I did was feed and change them. We still don’t do much more than that–a little rattle time, a little tummy time on a good day, a little time with a book, and that’s about it. I too feel guilty about that, but I just don’t know what else to do with them. At this age, they don’t really play–it’s hard. Last night, a friend came over and spent an hour cooing at Ethan(and got his first smile out of him, damnit), and I spent that whole hour thinking, “Why don’t I spend time doing this with him? Should I be? Maybe if she spent all day, every day with him, she wouldn’t do it, either.”
    However, that being said, it is getting better. They’re 18 weeks tomorrow, and they now go 4 hours between feeds sometimes(I’m wondering if the easy-digest formula digests quicker–do they have to be on it?), and that helps immensely. Also what helps immensely? Meds. They say(They? Who’s they?) that moms with complicated pregnancies/deliveries/postpartums are at higher risk for PPD, and god knows the sleep deprivation of twins doesn’t help. Please, if you think even slightly that you’re heading that way–get help. I feel so much better than I did 3 weeks ago, and I really think that the babes respond to that.
    feel free to email me anytime–i check my email a dozen times a day, and if you have AIM, my screen name is theremotejen, same as on twitter.

  5. Jinxy Says:

    I’m so sorry. I know that I responded on twitter, but I feel bad that its taken me so long to comment here.

    All I have to say isn’t all that good anyway, but we love you and things will get better. I’m always around if you want to talk.

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