October is my favourite month, autumn my favourite time of year.


I sent Kleinette (my ex-therapist) a birth announcement. She immediately sent a card and gift special delivery – two pairs of gorgeous, knitted, fleecy slippers for the babies this winter. The card was lovely, announcing that she whooped and danced around the kitchen table when she found out we had twins. Kleinette heard a lot about my desire for children, and I thought it fitting she knew that the world was now richer by two gorgeous individuals.

The things I repeatedly said I wanted to achieve in therapy are happening. One major complaint was about Day Job; jesus, Kleinette must’ve wanted to shoot herself every time I mentioned it. Now I am well out of Day Job and in love with Operation Fingerpaint (though probably planning on not returning when my year’s maternity leave is up). I wanted to work as a therapist for a small, warm hearted charity with a close knit staff team – you couldn’t more perfectly describe O.P.

I wanted to move out of the city. In a pathetic way, the walk along the tiny lane to the street leading to her house was rejuvinating if only because it was 20 seconds away from the endless traffic. I loved (still do) that city; living in one of the world’s largest and most diverse cities is an experience. But, fuck, give me some trees. I know it is a marvellously attempting-to-be-green city, a city of old architecture, a city with weird little alleys and roads with nothing but used bookstores. Delightful. But not for me, not for living in. And now? We bought this wonderful home outside of the city. We’re surrounded by green. Our ‘city centre’ fits in the palm of my hand, and that’s just about perfect.

I wanted children. TMD and I were constantly engaged in a debate about when ‘the right time’ would be. Apparently, that’s now. From being filled with envy and sadness every time I saw a pregnant woman’s belly, I now have two luscious babies I can dance with, kiss, and sniff to see if they have pooped.

I wanted to get published, in a bigger way than I’ve been published before. This is (always) the final thing, the final goal. If I can do all these other things – AMAZING myself – then why not this?

It was nice to hear from Kleinette again. She is like a constant cheerleader who you know wishes you well, whether you ever speak to her again or not. What a gift. I hope I have given that to some of the children, young people, and adults I have worked with. I can see most of them very clearly in my mind. On this sunniest of sunny mornings, I send them all a little piece of goodwill.

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2 Responses to “October is my favourite month, autumn my favourite time of year.”

  1. CJ Says:

    I miss my former therapist. After four years, she still thought I was sane and “emotionally intelligent”. Who wouldn’t like her? She’s smart!

  2. Jinxy Says:

    I couldn’t live in a big city, I can’t stand all the people. Heck I can hardly stand living in my little town of about 10k. The place you live now sounds lovely.

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