Archive for September 4th, 2009

Happy almost birthday, Existere.

September 4, 2009

This is my last day being thirty; tomorrow, I venture properly into this decade of being (allegedly) more confident, sexy, strong. But what a year thirty was.

The day after my 30th birthday, TMD and I did three things: went to the fertility clinic for our initial consultation, went to lunch with Corporate T and Aussie (where I cried and cried about IVF versus IUI), and TMD threw a big ass surprise party for me (the first of my life). That was roughly 365 days ago, and how things have changed.

I can’t believe it, or even understand it, sometimes. Sitting here this afternoon listening to India Arie’s Beautiful Surprise, holding our daughter in my arms, our son safely tucked into his carrycot, thinking about where I am now. TMD hanging up armfuls of muslins, my underwear, her hair slipping out of its ponytail. This is where I would choose to be, again and again.

This time last year we were making sure we knew how to get to the clinic. We were debating when, exactly, we would begin trying to make a baby. Over the last year, I learned how to give myself shots. We got pregnant with twins the first try. I grew hugely pregnant, and then got even bigger. Three and a half weeks ago, we were holding our real live babies in our arms for the first time, suddenly aware of what it meant to have two new people in our lives for the rest of our lives.

This has been a long year; this has been a short year. Individual days have dragged on. In November my ovaries were heavy, in January I was run over, I spent months on our couch. This past year, I felt our son and daughter kicking in my womb. TMD said the same poem over and over to my tummy. I gained pink and purple marks on my belly, I felt hiccups from the inside out.

And in this time, this journey from birthday to birthday, I now somehow have two more people in my family, a deeper appreciation and love for TMD (in our tenth year together…our anniversary was the 15th, just after they were born), and no small amount of wonder at the two beautiful, farty babies that lived inside me for nine months.

Happy birthday to me, tomorrow. But as far as today goes, it’s just about perfect.



Bullet points, all slightly off target.

September 4, 2009

I know I need to write answering Jennie’s question, post the birth story, and try to keep up with day-to-day miracles as well. But in the meantime, I am trying to:

  • figure out how to return a breastpump in the least expensive way
  • not worry about the vomit-a-thon that just happened here
  • be alone with the babies who are BOTH just waking up while TMD runs to the store quickly to get a box (for the breastpump)
  • remind you that I still cannot lift either baby, so even if just one wakes up screaming it will not be fun for any of us!
  • beat facebook into submission to post more photos
  • sort out birth announcements
  • bask in the memory of the giant poo I did earlier
  • remember to put thrush medication into Mano’s mouth
  • figure out a way to file down the nails on their right hands
  • make 25 zillion phone calls (we have all the forms for TMD’s parental responsibility filled out – a long story in its own right – and just need to figure out which ones to send where)
  • soak up the last few days of TMD being at home with us full time
  • pretend I will be able to sleep soon
  • rub my lips along baby hairlines (not as fucking creepy as it sounds, I swear)
  • remember to write about Corporate T’s new (requested) identity and just generally tidy up around this blog
  • ASK YOU FOR HELP – how do I save a copy of this blog in a READABLE format to my laptop?? Not the crappy way WordPress offers. I want a copy that I can read, read, read. I would be heartbroken if something ever happened to WordPress and I lost the story of my pregnancy and birth!