To you & your family


To my dear friend,

When I found your blog in September (interestingly, the first post I commented on is called “The first risk of IVF: twins“) I didn’t know that I had found a friend.

Little did I know that I would follow your journey through IVF and pregnancy with not only bated breath, but genuine tears and love.

When you had to poke needles into yourself, I cringed, but I kept reading.  As you read through the donor profiles, I wished there were some way you and TMD could just conceive together and not have to involve anyone else at all.  I cheered for you when you showed us your positive pregnancy test.  I wept as nausea and vomiting overwhelmed you and left you feeling wrung out and horrible.

In short, ever since I found you in September, I have been swept along by your words.  As we became friends — an organic, natural process — I’ve been swept along by your personality.  I couldn’t be happier.

Very very soon, I’ll know how you felt when you posted about my Maia arriving.

I’ve said a thousand times that I wish I could be there, with you and TMD, helping you out when the babies arrive.  I mean it.  I’ve always meant it.

Life is going to change so fundamentally for you that everything pre-babies will seem important only because it brought you to them.  Your relationships with people — and yourself — will change.  It’s difficult.  It’s really, really difficult.  You’re going to realize you’re a stronger person than you ever knew.  Stay strong but flexible.  Cry when you need to.  Let TMD cry if she needs to.

Trust each other.

There will come a time when it is just you two and your babies at home, and it will blow your mind.  But then it’ll become commonplace, simply the way things are, and you might lose the wonder that you felt when they first came into your lives.  Try to hold onto that wonder.  There’ll never be a day when you don’t need TMD’s support or she doesn’t need yours, but there’ll be moments when you think you’d be better off without one another.  You’ll doubt each other.  Go back, find the love that brought you together, find the wonder that bound you when you first looked at your babies and then one another, and hold it as fiercely as you can.  You need each other.

You choose your spouse, because you want to be with them forever.  You don’t choose your children, but you want to be with them forever anyway.

You’re going to be amazing mothers.

All my love,


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2 Responses to “To you & your family”

  1. Tia Says:

    Fine! Make me cry at work!! That’s just fine!

  2. Jinxy Says:

    Beautiful Tatiana.

    Thank you for sharing that Existere.

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