Archive for July, 2009

33 weeks 3 days pregnant.

July 10, 2009

Dear Babies,

Your mummy built your new pushchair yesterday while I watched. Despite claims that it was ‘the ultimate in user friendliness,’ Mummy used a lot of words that you probably won’t hear from her again – unless you get little brothers or sisters in future and she needs to build another pushchair.

In the store it looked so sexy and cute, and relatively normal-sized. Now, you babies don’t know what size our home is, because right now you are all smushed up in my (your) womb. But when your pushchair is in our lounge, it DOMINATES. Do you know what ‘dominate’ means? It means it takes up all the room and there is no room for anything else. In fact, I couldn’t even get a picture of Mummy with the pushchair because it was so big.

But dang, you guys are gonna look cute in it. Mummy keeps saying it ‘turns on a dime,’ and I will certainly remind her of that when you guys are big, fat, happy babies and our arm muscles are weeping from the pain of pushing that megalith up a hill on a path that twists and curves.

I got my wheelchair yesterday and Mummy hurt herself lifting it into the boot of the car. Your pushchair would totally kick the ass of my wheelchair in a fight. Except I suspect your pushchair is too expensive and high class to want to fight with a banged up piece of metal transport from the local charity.

Anyway, babies, today is the last day of me being home alone with you guys. Nan (Gran? Nanny?) is moving in on Monday and she will be staying with us every work day. This means that you will get used to her voice, which is nice because she is a generally nice lady. My mommy, Granny (Grandma?), is very happy that Nan will be here to look after us.

Baby girl, you have been having some big, big movements in the past day. The sort of big moves and squiggles your brother normally makes. Does this mean he isn’t squishing you anymore? And baby boy, you  have been getting some messed up hiccups. Yesterday you had them and I jiggled you; they stopped. Within minutes of me stopping jiggling, you got them again.

I’m not sure what position you kids are in, and I am nervous about what happens if you go head down. But still, whatever happens, I hope you are both as comfy as you can be. If you choose to turn head down, you would probably have more room to move. And your heads wouldn’t be up in my ribs anymore, though I think you have both moved away from the rib cage part you were in. So, in short, do consider changing position – if only for your own benefit.

We will ignore what it must be like for you to be crammed through my pelvis and vagina, but remain happy and secure in the knowledge that at least it would clean out your sinuses.

Kitty Marmite is curious about you. We have started paying more attention to her because she has been ignored for the past few months. She was sort of scared of your pushchair, but she REALLY liked the fabric of the seats and we had to hide them in plastic covers. You two will have a lot of fun with her once you are old enough to appreciate that there is more to view than my boobies or your mommies’ faces, but I don’t know if the kitty will as eager to play as you. We’ll see.

Okay, kidlets, over and out. Love you.


A better day.

July 7, 2009

Meg and Nic (more details to come!) have been here all afternoon and they have saved my day. I love them.

32 weeks 6 days and a bonafide bed-ridden me.

July 6, 2009

Reluctant to moan yet again, but god.

The SPD is so messed up I can honestly say I have never felt pain like it. Woke up yesterday to not being able to move either leg a fraction of an inch in any direction without instant excruciating pain in my pubis.

This is really getting me down.

TMD’s mum has had shingles, so she wasn’t able to come up. The plan is for her to come up mid-next week, but after this morning I think we are going to see if she can come up this week, or the weekend at the latest. Poor TMD was crying when she left for work because I was sobbing so hard.

Moany, moany Myrtle.

She said I had florescent highlighter coming out my boob, and she was right.

July 4, 2009


I was sitting naked on a chair with my foot propped on the toilet, attempting to cut my talon like toenails. As I went for my right foot, I was aware my right boob was sore as I was semi-squishing it. I changed positions and everything was fine.

My left foot was a sonofabitch to reach, and I think I was really compressing my breast. Finished my nails, popped back onto the toilet. TMD came into the room and said in a Very Loud Voice, ‘Oh my god, you are MILKING!’

For some reason I thought she meant white stuff was pouring out my vagina, so I peered down. She screamed, ‘YOUR BOOB!’

Sure enough, my left boob had a big ass bead of yellow liquid shimmering on the tip. I was grossed out. I know it’s awesome my body is doing this and a good sign that my boobie ladies will perform, but wow. We both screamed at each other the same time to get the camera (yes, seriously). Then I managed to work up the courage to wipe it with toilet paper.

Cue one bright yellow squidge of liquid, and one bright yellow thicker gooey shit spot.

Is colustrum yellow?!?

Twin bump pictures – 32 weeks pregnant. Also Tony. And leaving marks over the children.

July 4, 2009

I have a haemorrhoid named Tony. It is a testament to my general hardiness that I shove him back into my butt every shower without thinking twice about it. My mother said that after giving birth to me, she had a ‘bunch of grapes’ that then hung from her ass. Mmm mmm good.

Next up on the list of Fucked Up Things:


See that handprint under my boob? The one so clear you can make out the lines in my hand?

Yes, that’s because I have rediscovered the pleasure of lying on my side. I discovered this morning that when I am getting rib pain (two babies heads are right in that area) if I take both hands and sort of push them out of my ribs, I can fall back asleep.

The handprint (and bracelet print) makes me feel a bit guilty. I hope I did not give them cricks in their respective necks.

And speaking of boobs, something funny and not-so-good is up with my left girlie. In the bath a few days ago I noticed a pinprick point of pain. There is some discoloured skin over it. I am to ‘keep an eye on it,’ but it should clear up. Uh, okay.

So…….bump pics. I know I normally take them on a Saturday, but I took them yesterday because we had our 32 (plus 3) week scan, and I wanted a picture of exactly how I/the bump looked when we knew what their exact estimated fetal weights were!!

I was right. Our babies are biiiiiiiiiig. They are each right on track for being singleton births, which makes them bigger than most twins at this stage. Baby boy is 4 lb 7, baby girl is 4 lb 6. This puts them each individually just over 2 kilos, which is the cut off point for special care (based on weight, anyway)!! Good babies.

The scan was excellent, and really emotional. We get scans every month as twins sometimes have growth problems, and they are normally quick checks of the organs and some measurements. You never really get to see anything. The lady yesterday took the time to show us everything, though I admit it is hard. When they were little you could easily get both babies on the screen. Our 13 + 6 pictures are superb – one perfect baby body per picture. Now, you can fit a head or tummy on the screen. So it’s all a bit disjointed.

She zoomed out to show us both their heads together – I wish I had thought to ask for a picture of that. While both babies are breech (wrong, babies, wrong), it is sweet that their heads are right up next to each other and they are sort of snuggled together. Mano’s head is on left side, his body stretches down my entire left side. He is ‘sitting’ on my left hip, with his legs stretched so the feet are across my pelvis and on the other hip. Torre’s head is on the left as well. Her body stretches under my breasts before curving waaaaaaaaay down and to the very outside of the right side of bump, with her legs curled in towards the middle. Note to self: must write about how while we always tell people Torre doesn’t move around much, actually she changes positions much more than her brother.

(It’s funny calling them ‘Mano’ and ‘Torre’ now because we have actually had names for a good few weeks now. Shh…)

Both babies have ‘nice round tummies’ (the one area they are both bigger than dead average in) and all measurements are within normal ranges for singleton babies. We then saw the doctor – good times.

He fucking told me that I would need general anesthetic if Mano came out the vadge and Torre needed a c section due to distress – EVEN IF I already had an epidural in. I am going to have a very serious talk with the anaesthetist when (if) I go in for regular delivery, because what the fuck is the point of an epidural if it means I’ll be asleep and TMD will have to leave the room if T needs a c section?

The doctor said it obviously helps with labour pains and is recommended with all twin mums – and then explained how they would deliver Torre if she was not head down. Yes, he would reach up into my vagina, into the fucking womb, and feel around. He would either try to turn her internally, or if he found a foot he would grab it and pull her out breech! Yes, I suppose an epidural might be nice for that brief period of time where I am giving birth like a cow with a farmer’s hand up her cootch.

It was a relief to hear that the hospital are willing to deliver the second twin breech. He said I would already be fully dilated and it wouldn’t be a problem. We talked a lot about c sections, but he said we shouldn’t focus on it – that they still want me to have a normal delivery. He said (quite cavalierly, I thought!) that it was still early, and most babies would turn head down. So, fingers crossed? (The question mark is because I feel funny about birth now, the closer it gets.)

He did say they would plan to section me at 38 or 39 weeks if they didn’t change position. I froze. THIRTY-NINE weeks? NO ONE has ever, EVER mentioned anything beyond 38 weeks to me. I literally couldn’t talk. He laughed and said, ‘Do you think you can last that long?’ I don’t even know what I said back to him. I suppose that is the same time I would be induced if I was to have a normal delivery as well.


I know it’s only a week more, but jebus.

Here I am at 32 + 3 days with the babies (yesterday!):




Whatever way I go in to deliver, they will do a scan when I arrive. The priority is always to have a regular delivery, and he said that babies can change positions very near the end – though I imagine it is rarer with twins.

The doctor also explained who all would be at a normal delivery (still in a operating theature cum delivery suite, just in case) and it is a HUGE number of people. I knew it would be, but it was still a shock. If both are head down, it will be less crazy and midwife-led, treated as two back-to-back normal births. If Torre isn’t head down, there will be midwives, several doctors, pediatricians, etc. There will also be two teams from special care in the hallway, preparing incubators and ready to be called in if needed. Yes, folks, everyone in within 50 miles will get to see me shitting myself as I push out babies. I believe this is the definition of ‘good times.’

The only thing the doctor said which I found upsetting is that babies who come early do best without a lot of handling, and will need to stay in incubators. Hrm. Everything I have read says premature babies do better when they are stroked and held. We will see. He said anything before 36 weeks is considered preterm for twins. My pregnancy goals used to be monthly, but have now gone into fortnightly hopes.

34 weeks is next goal, and developmentally that is a HUGE milestone to pass. Then 36 weeks so the babies are term….or at least not preterm. And 38 weeks where, universe willing, we will finally get to meet our children.

Our children.


diary twin