I would flirt with you if I could see you.

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Hello blogfriends!! (Yes, I said ‘blogfriends,’ please feel free to judge me.) Sorry for not writing this week. TMD’s mum has been here – hereafter referred to as Mil.

It has been a huge, huge help having her here, not least of all because I didn’t feel free to go all weepy and crazy on her ass. It was tough at times because I have my lunatic schedule of crappy tv and napping at will, and that is hard to fit into an almost constant stream of conversation. She is brilliant company and am happy she’ll be here again next week.

Past few days have been…intriguing. I’ve had more Braxton Hicks contractions than you can shake a stick at. I actually called the hospital a few days ago because they had increased to every ten minutes, but then calmed back down. I am having probably four or five an hour during most of the day. Last night I also had some KILLER stabbing cramping, which I think turned out to be a mild case of the you-poisoned-mes, as I got a wee bit sick after dinner. After crapping my heart out, the stabbing pains subsided somewhat.

At any rate, we are 34 weeks 4 days pregnant today – I will be taking pictures later this afternoon. TMD keeps banging on about how I appear to have leapt in bump growth yet again, but I now only see the narrowing top part of my bump. As the babies go lower and more to each side, the top almost appears neat and tidy. To me, anyway.

Both babies are out of control hopping around. Midwife came to our home to see me Thursday and acknowledged that we had a ‘very active pair.’ I got to hear Torre’s hiccups! It was incredible. I obviously feel and see each of their respective hiccup attacks several times a day, but when she was listening for Torre’s heartbeat she got hiccups and we heard them all on the doppler. That shit was SO COOL and I need TMD to keep the doppler handy so she can hear them in future, too. (It was Mil and me with the midwife, TMD was at work.)

Midwifey confirmed that an epidural was the way to go, as in most cases there would be plenty of time for a top up should a c section be needed. She also read over both birth plans and went through how labour would work in more detail. Torre is still a breechie baby, but Mano MAY be turning. Emphasis on the ‘may.’ What she suspects was his ass rather than his head was way out on the side, and his head was near my belly button – so he’s transverse again, but lower down. He was more diagonal with his head down, but wiggled back up during the exam.

I am starting to get nervous.

The cramping last night, mixed with the almost steady stream of BH contractions, has me actually thinking about giving birth, and I am starting to find Denial Land harder and harder to enter. Both Mil and my mom are cheering for a c section because I am all messed up and they both fear permanent injury, but people my age all in favour of vaginal. Only time will tell.

Next scan is at 36 + 3, so less than two weeks to go.

Ooh. Another BH contraction. I wonder what the babies make of them, as it appears my skin turns to clingfilm during these contractions and baby bodies are clearly visible.

Only new news is really about my discovery of a whole world of info about breastfeeding after a breast reduction. For the first time, it hit me that I may not be able to nourish my babies. Feeling down about this, but have ordered a specialist book on the subject. I also need to try to hand express from my right boob, as I know my left boob is at least capable of producing a bit of colostrum. I’d like to be assured the right could do the same, otherwise I will feel guilty about putting one of the babies on that boob.

Going to call my surgeon on Monday (if I can find him – had the reduction in 1999, so it’s been awhile). Beating myself up mildly for choosing to have had the surgery, but I suppose there is no turning back time.

I hope all you kiddies are great. And to the person who read the whole blog in one sitting – WOW. You are pretty fucking amazing – and I envy you. I love finding new blogs that kidnap me from real life for that long at one go!!

Now I’m off to try to download Skype and install our new camera/microphone. Somewhere in the last five years I stopped being a youngin’ who kept up with technological things, but I still feel confident I can Skype it up. Wish me luck….

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3 Responses to “I would flirt with you if I could see you.”

  1. Posts about Blogging as of July 18, 2009 | MelaniedeJonge.com Says:

    […] even medicines to the dogs.  You see my mom is unable to transport all the dogs to the clinic. I would flirt with you if I could see you. – existere.wordpress.com 07/18/2009 Hello blogfriends!! (Yes, I said ‘blogfriends,’ […]

  2. Tatiana Says:

    You have no idea how happy I am to see a post from you, and one where the babies are still snuggling inside and growing. It’s so amazing that you’re so close.

    The main reason I’m in favour of a vaginal birth is that I KNOW you can do it and I hate how medicalized birth has been made — however, you CAN’T do it if your babies aren’t properly positioned. And regardless of how I or any of your crazy blogfriends feel about the way you give birth, 1) it’s none of our business and 2) we really just want to see your babies and you safe, healthy, and happy (also I am dying to know their names).

    Insofar as breastfeeding goes… obv, again, I hope you can do it, but 10 years ago you made a decision that was, I assume, best for your health, so no use worrying about it. Are there any milk banks you can get donated milk from, if one breast can’t produce? Sure, you’ll be totally lopsided if you nurse off one side & not the other, but whatevs, I’m lopsided & I nurse off both. And honestly? Millions of babies drink formula and end up alright, so if you have to go that route, don’t beat yourself up.

    You two are so incredibly close to having your life change. Stay strong. It is going to be amazing, and difficult, and sometimes heart-breaking, but remember what brought and keeps you together as a couple. I won’t lie, there have been plenty of times with one baby where I’ve wished that Chris would either fall off the face of the Earth or just move the fuck out and leave us alone. There have been times I’ve been so tired I’ve stared at her and wondered why I ever did this to myself, times I’ve wished I could just give her to someone else for a few hours to bury myself in bed.

    But as you know from reading my blog, those times are balanced out — hell, they’re erased — by the moments when I’m raspberrying her belly and she laughs and laughs. When I pull her into bed and we fall asleep, or even when we don’t, and I wake up to her staring at me, fascinated, reaching out her hand to touch my face. When Chris smiles at her and she smiles back, then snuggles her face against my shoulder like she’s being bashful before straightening up and reaching out for him.

    Dudette, I am so excited I honestly might fall out of my chair.

  3. HelenEdith Says:

    I haven’t read the whole blog at a sitting. I chanced across it when it came up as a recent post on my own dashboard, and I’ve been back several times since!

    Your story is so different from the last “pregnant with twins” story that I was following – and I think that your style of telling it is somewhat different, too. 😀 I did like the bit where you said that you were going to feel like a farm animal. It’s nice to come across someone who can feel that way and not dress everything up in lace and misty colours.

    Best of luck with the remainder of the pregnancy. I will probably be lurking in here and cheering you on.

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